A couple of years ago, I decided to stop cursing. Much to my...
Pep@peptalksblog
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Sep 11, 2025
~3 min read
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A couple of years ago, I decided to stop cursing.
Much to my surprise, it made a significant impact on my life.
Here's why: 🧵
Much to my surprise, it made a significant impact on my life.
Here's why: 🧵
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I didn't stop cursing out of politeness or as an attempt to try to "be a better person".
I just tried it because I was curious:
My speech was littered with expletives and obscenities. And one day I wondered: what would happen if it wasn't that way?.
Here's what I learned:
I just tried it because I was curious:
My speech was littered with expletives and obscenities. And one day I wondered: what would happen if it wasn't that way?.
Here's what I learned:
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Cursing decreases agency:
1) When I damn the situation I find myself in, I am rejecting it. But it is only reality I can work with. So I experience stuckness.
2) When I damn a situation, I can not see the opportunities it presents. Which stops me from acting on them. ↓↓
1) When I damn the situation I find myself in, I am rejecting it. But it is only reality I can work with. So I experience stuckness.
2) When I damn a situation, I can not see the opportunities it presents. Which stops me from acting on them. ↓↓
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When I curse the past, I can't integrate it. I chain myself to the way it currently affects me.
When I curse the present, I curse the shape of my own existence in this moment. And rob myself of fully living in it.
When I curse the future, I shape it in a negative direction.↓↓
When I curse the present, I curse the shape of my own existence in this moment. And rob myself of fully living in it.
When I curse the future, I shape it in a negative direction.↓↓
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When I curse out a person, I stop myself from relating & learning.
I can plug every hole in my understanding with "they're just an asshole".
Reasoning? Asshole logic.
Intentions? Be an asshole.
How to respond? FU, asshole.
It disempowers both the curser and the cursee.↓↓
I can plug every hole in my understanding with "they're just an asshole".
Reasoning? Asshole logic.
Intentions? Be an asshole.
How to respond? FU, asshole.
It disempowers both the curser and the cursee.↓↓
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When I curse out a situation or person, I am subtly weakening myself.
Because I'm saying, "I could thrive right now, if it weren't for that @#%@!!!"
But that's irrelevant. Things are the way they are. Now will I rise to the occasion and thrive in reality, rather than fiction?↓
Because I'm saying, "I could thrive right now, if it weren't for that @#%@!!!"
But that's irrelevant. Things are the way they are. Now will I rise to the occasion and thrive in reality, rather than fiction?↓
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When I use expletives for emphasis, it weakens my message.
This is counterintuitive, but:
"Dude, just fucking ____" implies that if I just were to say "____", it wouldn't be a strong point.
If that's true, I can just make a stronger point.
If it's not true, no need to curse↓
This is counterintuitive, but:
"Dude, just fucking ____" implies that if I just were to say "____", it wouldn't be a strong point.
If that's true, I can just make a stronger point.
If it's not true, no need to curse↓
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Finally, I have come to believe that cursing is not one-directional.
It's an energy we choose to invoke.
If you put the woo of that statement aside, just try it out:
1) Curse everything you see for 48 hours.
2) Bless everything you see for 48 hours.
Observe how reality feels↓
It's an energy we choose to invoke.
If you put the woo of that statement aside, just try it out:
1) Curse everything you see for 48 hours.
2) Bless everything you see for 48 hours.
Observe how reality feels↓
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Take the rain for example.
What happens if you replace "This darn shitty weather again!" with "It rains".
What happens if you replace "This darn shitty weather again!" with "It rains".
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Here's what happens:
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It's not about denying that things happen which are unpleasant for us.
But about maintaining equanimity towards those things & people.
This keeps you responsive rather than reactive.
(Read the quoted thread to learn about equanimity towards people).
But about maintaining equanimity towards those things & people.
This keeps you responsive rather than reactive.
(Read the quoted thread to learn about equanimity towards people).
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Another thing I noticed by choosing not to curse:
Sometimes, I find myself wanting to express something and not having any way to do it without cursing.
These are great teaching moments. Because they show me potent points of access for personal growth.↓↓
Sometimes, I find myself wanting to express something and not having any way to do it without cursing.
These are great teaching moments. Because they show me potent points of access for personal growth.↓↓
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In the end, cursing isn't about the words we speak, but what we feel in our hearts.
Forcing a smile while silently damning everyone just creates clenching.
But stopping habitual cursing & bringing awareness to which moments I want to, has made me both happier & more effective.
Forcing a smile while silently damning everyone just creates clenching.
But stopping habitual cursing & bringing awareness to which moments I want to, has made me both happier & more effective.
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Follow me @peptalksblog for more explorations on connecting with ourselves, each other and reality.
If you think others could benefit from this thread, I'd deeply appreciate you sharing the first post:
If you think others could benefit from this thread, I'd deeply appreciate you sharing the first post: