Learning the art of not being emotionally controlled will change...
Dr. Nicole LePera@Theholisticpsyc
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May 05, 2026
~2 min read
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Learning the art of not being emotionally controlled will change your life.
Here's a Step by Step Guide:
Here's a Step by Step Guide:
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There are 4 main ways people emotionally control others:
1. Guilt tripping
2. Sabotaging
3. Stonewalling
4. Future faking
1. Guilt tripping
2. Sabotaging
3. Stonewalling
4. Future faking
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Guilt tripping is when someone tries to get you to change your behavior or remove a boundary. It's done through pressure and works by activating your empathy.
It sounds like: "after all I've done for you."
It sounds like: "after all I've done for you."
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How to deal with guilt tripping:
Realize you're not responsible for managing other people's emotions. You can understand how they feel, without changing your behavior.
Remember: it's ok if someone is upset with you, it's ok to disappoint people.
Realize you're not responsible for managing other people's emotions. You can understand how they feel, without changing your behavior.
Remember: it's ok if someone is upset with you, it's ok to disappoint people.
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How to deal with sabotaging:
Sabotaging is when someone undermines something important to you.
It looks like: ruining your birthday, picking a fight (to get all your focus), weaponizing your past.
Remember: healthy people don't ruin your big moments.
Sabotaging is when someone undermines something important to you.
It looks like: ruining your birthday, picking a fight (to get all your focus), weaponizing your past.
Remember: healthy people don't ruin your big moments.
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How to deal with stonewalling:
Stonewalling is when someone shuts down, gives the silent treatment, or refuses to engage in an effort to change your behavior.
It looks like: ignoring you until you drop an issue
Remember: you deserve repair and resolution
Stonewalling is when someone shuts down, gives the silent treatment, or refuses to engage in an effort to change your behavior.
It looks like: ignoring you until you drop an issue
Remember: you deserve repair and resolution
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How to deal with future faking:
Future faking is when someone makes promises without intention to follow through.
It looks like: making elaborate plans for marriage or children, but never taking any actual steps.
Remember: behavior is true communication.
Future faking is when someone makes promises without intention to follow through.
It looks like: making elaborate plans for marriage or children, but never taking any actual steps.
Remember: behavior is true communication.
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Not everyone does these things intentionally. Sometimes these are subconscious patterns, and they're not even aware that they're attempting to control you.
This still means you need clear boundaries.
This still means you need clear boundaries.
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The art of not being emotionally controlled:
1. Resist the urge to over-explain: you don't need to prove yourself, over-explain or defend. You can make an adult choice and trust an adult to deal with disappointment.
Say less than you would, every time.
1. Resist the urge to over-explain: you don't need to prove yourself, over-explain or defend. You can make an adult choice and trust an adult to deal with disappointment.
Say less than you would, every time.
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2. Don't push communication: if someone is giving you the silent treatment or showing their angry without actually communicating with you, let it be.
Your role isn't to pull things out of people.
Your role isn't to pull things out of people.
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3. Stand firm when sabotage happens: if someone is ruining your moment or picking fights, remove yourself. People who sabotage are looking for attention and control, show you are not that person.
Go anyway or put your focus where it needs to go.
Go anyway or put your focus where it needs to go.
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The more you learn the art of not being emotionally controlled, the more you send a clear message that you're confident and unshakable.
Your nervous system will thank you.
Bookmark this one and practice.
Your nervous system will thank you.
Bookmark this one and practice.
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If you want to learn more about the art of not being emotionally controlled my private membership is open for enrollment.
You can join here: selfhealerscircle.com
Enrollment is open now, spaces will sell out.
You can join here: selfhealerscircle.com
Enrollment is open now, spaces will sell out.
