The discourse on emotional repression usually focuses on anger,...
Pep@peptalksblog
70 views
Oct 15, 2025
~2 min read
Advertisement
1
The discourse on emotional repression usually focuses on anger, fear or sadness.
But one emotion that's repressed to some degree in most people I meet is joy:🧵
But one emotion that's repressed to some degree in most people I meet is joy:🧵
2
Joy is socially disruptive.
Laughing "too loudly", dancing in public, radiating your aliveness wherever you go.
These threaten the status status quo of seriousness, propriety, and control.
↓↓
Laughing "too loudly", dancing in public, radiating your aliveness wherever you go.
These threaten the status status quo of seriousness, propriety, and control.
↓↓
3
To be the first to express full-bodied joy in a group is to risk being the weird one.
We all want to have fun, but we also find safety in social order.
Joy is highly alive. It can be playful, chaotic and experimental, so it challenges existing hierarchy:
We all want to have fun, but we also find safety in social order.
Joy is highly alive. It can be playful, chaotic and experimental, so it challenges existing hierarchy:
George Mack@george__mack
The best example of high agency:
The guy in this video.
Watch how the low-agency crowd goes from judgmental to joining in, once everyone else deems it acceptable.
The guy in this video.
Watch how the low-agency crowd goes from judgmental to joining in, once everyone else deems it acceptable.
4
A joyful person is often less compliant & obedient.
Think of kids playing wildly when an adult comes in to say playtime is over.
We need systems & authorities to create the safe container for play.
But when we can't contain our joy yet, managing these requires repression↓↓
Think of kids playing wildly when an adult comes in to say playtime is over.
We need systems & authorities to create the safe container for play.
But when we can't contain our joy yet, managing these requires repression↓↓
5
Since, as children, we haven't learned yet how to contain excessive joy in situations where it would be helpful to do so, we need some external counterforce to contain it.
Shame, another powerful feeling, is often the one to do this. ("Be quiet! Stop being silly! Behave!")↓↓
Shame, another powerful feeling, is often the one to do this. ("Be quiet! Stop being silly! Behave!")↓↓
6
Over time, frequent external reinforcement that we should contain our joy (often without any context on why) wires an association between joy and shame.
As a result many people either bury their joy, or express it in brazen ways (which is the same: disconnected joy).
↓↓
As a result many people either bury their joy, or express it in brazen ways (which is the same: disconnected joy).
↓↓
Pep@peptalksblog
Ever noticed that the purpose of shame and shamelessness is essentially the same?
Here's how: 🧵
Here's how: 🧵
7
Fully expressing joy is a vulnerable act.
It exposes us to potential rejection & reinforcement of that shame.
There are socially acceptable joy containers (festivals) & joy-topics (cute cats).
But it's rare for people to let joy move them independently.
↓↓
It exposes us to potential rejection & reinforcement of that shame.
There are socially acceptable joy containers (festivals) & joy-topics (cute cats).
But it's rare for people to let joy move them independently.
↓↓
8
"Let joy move you independently" doesn't mean "regardless of others":
As a kid, I was often so consumed by joy that I lost awareness of the mess I made in shared spaces.
I didn't have capacity for this yet. That's the love inside shame—it helped me act as if, until I did.
↓↓
As a kid, I was often so consumed by joy that I lost awareness of the mess I made in shared spaces.
I didn't have capacity for this yet. That's the love inside shame—it helped me act as if, until I did.
↓↓
Pep@peptalksblog
"Negative" emotions aren't bad for you.
All emotions offer love, wisdom & power in their own way.
Once you allow them to do so, everything changes.
How to find the love inside your feelings:
🧵
All emotions offer love, wisdom & power in their own way.
Once you allow them to do so, everything changes.
How to find the love inside your feelings:
🧵
9
Mature joy doesn't need shame to calibrate it to social contexts.
When joy is felt in the body without dissociating, it opens the heart.
Because joy is an expansive feeling & the heart is the place from which it expands.
Centered joy includes wanting joy for everyone else↓↓
When joy is felt in the body without dissociating, it opens the heart.
Because joy is an expansive feeling & the heart is the place from which it expands.
Centered joy includes wanting joy for everyone else↓↓
10
Learning to fully feel & express joy is revolutionary. Because it restores agency, dissolves control systems & connects you with yourself.
But's a loving revolution, not a violent one. Because it provokes liberation, dissolves personal rigidity & connects you with others.
↓↓
But's a loving revolution, not a violent one. Because it provokes liberation, dissolves personal rigidity & connects you with others.
↓↓
11
What can you do to build more capacity for joy?
Slowly lean into feeling more of everything else.
Repression and suppression don't discriminate.
(And joy is often hidden underneath other feelings.)
Here's a next thread on how to do just that:
Slowly lean into feeling more of everything else.
Repression and suppression don't discriminate.
(And joy is often hidden underneath other feelings.)
Here's a next thread on how to do just that:
Pep@peptalksblog
One of the most powerful life skills you can develop:
Building the capacity to feel.
So many issues across life are downstream of low feeling capacity that I think this should be core curriculum.
Here's why it matters and how to practice it: 🧵
Building the capacity to feel.
So many issues across life are downstream of low feeling capacity that I think this should be core curriculum.
Here's why it matters and how to practice it: 🧵
12
Follow me @peptalksblog for more explorations on connecting with ourselves, each other and reality.
If you think others could benefit from this thread, I'd deeply appreciate you sharing the first post:
If you think others could benefit from this thread, I'd deeply appreciate you sharing the first post:
Pep@peptalksblog
The discourse on emotional repression usually focuses on anger, fear or sadness.
But one emotion that's repressed to some degree in most people I meet is joy:🧵
But one emotion that's repressed to some degree in most people I meet is joy:🧵