The Yiling Patriarch never smiles. But, they say, he laughs a lot....
grey 🍁@cheerywhiskey
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Aug 23, 2024
~5 min read
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1
The Yiling Patriarch never smiles.
But, they say, he laughs a lot.
A laughter so contagious that if it were a drop of water, it would make a barren heart bloom into a bouquet of flowers.
But, they say, he laughs a lot.
A laughter so contagious that if it were a drop of water, it would make a barren heart bloom into a bouquet of flowers.
2
His eccentricity stands out, not in a dark twisted way as Xiao Hua had suspected, but rather mysteriously. She could have easily thought he belonged to the likes of her had she not seen him inebriated, always. There was never a time there was no alcohol on his breath.
3
In a different life, maybe they could have had similar fates. Outcasts picked up from side of the road, and trained into mankind's finest, most efficient assassins.
Assassins because she does not like word "killers".
Assassins because she does not like word "killers".
4
But Xiao Hua has mouths to feed. Hunger never cares how moral the bread that satiates it is. It's soon going to be winter. She will need the wages master Jin will pay her for a job well done.
"Three drinks of this and he will spill the whereabouts of the seal," she remembers.
"Three drinks of this and he will spill the whereabouts of the seal," she remembers.
5
Unlike the Yiling Patriarch, she does not have the luxury to move alone. Unlike Wei Wuxian, she is not an orphan.
In the months that she has been his shadow, she has watched the grief slowly erode his vigilance.
In the months that she has been his shadow, she has watched the grief slowly erode his vigilance.
6
Certain days, it feels like he is deliberately putting himself out there, as if wishing... almost pleading... for something, for anything to come and take him.
It should feel like a victory.
A job well done.
It should feel like a victory.
A job well done.
7
Xiao Hua has worked hard for this. For the patriarch's defences to loose down.
For his spirit to crumble.
She was the one who slipped the venom into the congee that burst open Lan Wangji's veins.
For his spirit to crumble.
She was the one who slipped the venom into the congee that burst open Lan Wangji's veins.
8
She was the one who made the last minute improvisation to make Wei Wuxian carry the supper because guilt is a much better propeller of grief than anger will ever be.
9
She was the only one who didn't cower away from Wei Wuxian's howls that terrorized the night of Yiling as the man in his arms gradually ceased his breaths.
10
But then there are days Wei Wuxian visits the village. Those are the days he laughs. He jokes with elderlies and laughs. He flirts with the women and laughs. He plays with the children and laughs.
Children just like her bedridden brother.
Children just like her bedridden brother.
11
On a windy autumn night, when she makes her way to corner-most table at the inn people flock to for a glance of the patriarch, it's with a jar of emperor's smile.
With every step, she clutches the vial in her sleeves harder. She has a brother to keep alive, she reminds herself.
With every step, she clutches the vial in her sleeves harder. She has a brother to keep alive, she reminds herself.
12
At the overly cramped table, surrounded by people, chatter, and empty liquor flasks, the jar—just as expected—draws patriarch's attention like a moth to flame.
"I don't drink that anymore."
"I don't drink that anymore."
13
With a shrug, Xiao Hua places the vial next to it, tall, dark and shiny. "Something stronger then." She does not smile, she is less likely to be trusted if she's friendly, she has learnt.
"Stronger does not mean better," the patriarch slides his cup over to her.
"Stronger does not mean better," the patriarch slides his cup over to her.
14
"Word on the street is, the patriarch is rescuing rabbits." She slides the cup back, full. "People are scared to hunt them even for food."
The patriarch throws his head back and laughs. Wild. Watery. Contagious.
The patriarch throws his head back and laughs. Wild. Watery. Contagious.
15
"It will make no one happy, not anymore." He laughs again, the underline of it thick, and downs the cup, entirely.
If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she would never believe this man kills without blinking an eye.
If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she would never believe this man kills without blinking an eye.
16
"You wear your reckless heart on sleeve, you ought to be careful." With her hands, she refills the cup. With her heart, she means her words more than she should.
There are children in the village who wait for you, she does not say.
There are children in the village who wait for you, she does not say.
17
Wei Wuxian laughs wholeheartedly as he relishes the drink. "What reason do I have for anything that will allow the continuity of this life."
Children, just like my brother, she does not say, as she refills the cup for the third time.
Children, just like my brother, she does not say, as she refills the cup for the third time.
18
When patriarch's fingers embrace the cup for the third time, they slide it back to her, almost gentle.
"Pour in what you gave to him, I will drink it down to the final drop."
She's had too many years of hardened training to flinch, she keeps her gaze calm.
"Pour in what you gave to him, I will drink it down to the final drop."
She's had too many years of hardened training to flinch, she keeps her gaze calm.
19
"I have a brother I have to keep alive." Xiao Hua is a prideful woman. She's also a painfully devoted one.
"He is already at the infirmary."
The untightening of her fists happens under the table. The world doesn't need to see her relief, not that it would care.
"He is already at the infirmary."
The untightening of her fists happens under the table. The world doesn't need to see her relief, not that it would care.
20
"I'm not the only shadow you have." She means it like a warning. It sounds like a threat.
"You are only one I allowed."
"Why?" She knows the answer. How can she not? The patriarch is a lot like her when it comes to affection.
"To draw you to death, like you did to him."
"You are only one I allowed."
"Why?" She knows the answer. How can she not? The patriarch is a lot like her when it comes to affection.
"To draw you to death, like you did to him."
21
Her fingers under the table tremble, but Xiao hua smiles. She's been happy and sad and angry all life but she's never been free before. Perhaps it's the courage of that resigned fate, or the last burst of strength from a dying light when she asks.
"Were you in love?"
"Were you in love?"
22
It must be the end of something, for the patriarch looks at her and he smiles—a tiny, oblivious thing—and Xiao Hua knows now, why he never smiles. Perhaps the patriarch is human after all. He smiles at her and downs the third drink.
"Tell me what kills more."
"Tell me what kills more."
23
Maybe Wei Wuxian knows it too, that in some ways, Xiao Hua is just like him. She finds herself smiling, knowing she would never smile again.
She never gets to know the patriarch finished the jar of emperor's smile before he left the inn that night.
She never gets to know the patriarch finished the jar of emperor's smile before he left the inn that night.