1/6 Those who have been in my life for a long time know that I have...
Yadesha Satheaswaran@YadeshaS
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Jun 30, 2026
~1 min read
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1/6 Those who have been in my life for a long time know that I have dealt with internalized racism ever since I was a young kid growing up in Scarborough.
Although my family is from Sri Lanka, I grew up in T.O. (Malvern) and attended school with primarily South Asian students.
Although my family is from Sri Lanka, I grew up in T.O. (Malvern) and attended school with primarily South Asian students.
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2/6 Throughout high school, I distanced myself from my Tamil identity. I refused to join the Tamil Students' Association, to speak about the civil war in Sri Lanka, and to attend Tamil cultural events. I believed that to participate in such activities would make me a "FOB".
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3/6 At the time, I thought I was "cool" to cut my hair short, to pretend not to speak Tamil, or to know anything about Bollywood/Kollywood movies. I was proud that people called me a "coconut" (brown on the outside, but white on the inside).
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4/6 When I got to university, I even changed the way I spoke to sound more "white." I wanted to make myself seem more "sophisticated" than my friends and peers from Malvern.
I did not realize how problematic and harmful my thinking was until my early twenties.
I did not realize how problematic and harmful my thinking was until my early twenties.
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5/6 The journey to dismantle my internalized racism has been a long one. I am nowhere close to where I want to be.
I would also be lying if I said that the legal profession has not, at times, exacerbated my internalized racism and put pressure on me to act certain ways.
I would also be lying if I said that the legal profession has not, at times, exacerbated my internalized racism and put pressure on me to act certain ways.
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6/6 That said, I am hopeful that one day, I can call myself a proud Tamil woman and mean it from the bottom of my heart.
I am also hopeful that I can carve a space for myself in the legal profession reflecting my unique (sometimes still convoluted) Tamil-Canadian identity.
I am also hopeful that I can carve a space for myself in the legal profession reflecting my unique (sometimes still convoluted) Tamil-Canadian identity.