Dating people with narcissistic tendencies is one of the leading...
Dr. Nicole LePera@Theholisticpsyc
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Jan 27, 2026
~2 min read
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Dating people with narcissistic tendencies is one of the leading cause of almost every health issue we see.
Few people connect health issues to relationships.
But the connection is research based:
Few people connect health issues to relationships.
But the connection is research based:
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At the root of narcissistic behavior, is a complete avoidance of emotional intimacy. This makes them unpredictable and inconsistent with their word. But they are often emotional chameleons, able to give people an illusion of what they want.
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Sometimes they're loving and highly affectionate. And other times they're cold, shut down, and sometimes cruel. When meeting someone with narcissistic tendencies, we can feel like we've finally met the perfect person.
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Because they say and do all the right things at the beginning, our body is bathed in oxytocin. This bonding chemical gets us hooked. But later, there's push-pull behavior and confusion around where you stand.
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This creates a physical threat state in our bodies. Without emotional safety from the people closest to us our immune system and nervous system goes into a heightened alert triggering our stress responses.
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This looks like:
- elevated cortisol and adrenaline
- digestion and gut issues
- systemic inflammation in the body
- chronic brain fog (memory issues)
- hyper vigilance and social anxiety
- chronic fatigue or burnout
- hormonal imbalances
- elevated cortisol and adrenaline
- digestion and gut issues
- systemic inflammation in the body
- chronic brain fog (memory issues)
- hyper vigilance and social anxiety
- chronic fatigue or burnout
- hormonal imbalances
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Feeling the shame of disconnection, we often try harder to be loved and chosen. We'll suppress our own needs, and work harder to understand why the other person is the way they are. At the same time, we feel angry and betrayed...
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But we've learned "good girls" don't feel that way. So we suppress how we feel, causing our nervous system to become more dysregulated. Taught to please, many of us deny our own reality to stay connected to inconsistent people.
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Those emotions are stored in our body, they don't just go away. They reveal themselves through chronic infections, depression, headaches, stomach aches, and skin issues.
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Every time, they pull away or we feel like we're being abandoned, our body becomes more drained. And, feeling like it's life or death, we do everything we can to stay lovable even as our health declines.
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People with narcissistic traits cannot give safety, attunement, or the relational integrity we need to have a healthy body.
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Walking away from these relationships earlier, when you see inconsistency and deception helps your body do what it naturally does: heal itself.
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Your skin will be clearer, your digestion will be better, your sleep is deeper, and your thoughts won't be crisis-based from a nervous system on fire.
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The things that make you sick are not just chemicals in foods, environmental germs, or genetic inheritances.
Sometimes it's the people you're sleeping next to.
Have you experienced this? Share in the comments...
Sometimes it's the people you're sleeping next to.
Have you experienced this? Share in the comments...
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We're built to move. It is no coincidence that depression has skyrocketed as we've been put in chairs for 8 hour a day. We've evolved to walk. It regulates brain activity and our nervous system. Our ancestors walked 6 miles a day or at least 2 hours.