HOW TO GET ROCK-SOLID, IRON-HEARTED CONFIDENCE Confidence is the...
Master Togan@Getinwithgame
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Oct 25, 2026
~4 min read
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HOW TO GET ROCK-SOLID, IRON-HEARTED CONFIDENCE
Confidence is the single biggest
thing girls say they want. Here's what it is
and how to get it.
[Thread]
Confidence is the single biggest
thing girls say they want. Here's what it is
and how to get it.
[Thread]
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LET'S DEFINE CONFIDENCE
The definition is this:
Confidence is about how capable you THINK you
are.
It comes from within (it's your self
perception). Yet it's based on how you do
without. It's based on your real world
performance and how others treat you.
The definition is this:
Confidence is about how capable you THINK you
are.
It comes from within (it's your self
perception). Yet it's based on how you do
without. It's based on your real world
performance and how others treat you.
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Some people have more "natural" confidence,
where they think they're going to be a success
no matter what.
Other people have less of this.
But EVERYONE'S confidence gets shaped by the
results he faces when he butts his head up
against the world.
where they think they're going to be a success
no matter what.
Other people have less of this.
But EVERYONE'S confidence gets shaped by the
results he faces when he butts his head up
against the world.
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Can he get what he wants, or can he not? Is
he effective or isn't he? How capable is he?
This might lead you to think confidence is
all about real world capability. Increase your
capability, and you'll up your confidence.
he effective or isn't he? How capable is he?
This might lead you to think confidence is
all about real world capability. Increase your
capability, and you'll up your confidence.
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To large extent, this is true.
And yet, there are different FLAVORS of
confidence.
WHAT FLAVOR IS YOUR CONFIDENCE?
And yet, there are different FLAVORS of
confidence.
WHAT FLAVOR IS YOUR CONFIDENCE?
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If you have any friends who are great at
something, you might've seen this yourself.
There's a guy, and he's GREAT at skiing. Or
tennis. Or he's an ace military officer. Or his
personal income is off the charts.
But when he walks up to girls, he's all
aquiver.
something, you might've seen this yourself.
There's a guy, and he's GREAT at skiing. Or
tennis. Or he's an ace military officer. Or his
personal income is off the charts.
But when he walks up to girls, he's all
aquiver.
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Maybe he CAN'T walk up to them. He's just too
nervous.
You might even be that guy yourself.
It's weird, right? I mean obviously you have
an area of life where you are supremely
confident... Yet there you are, scared of girls.
nervous.
You might even be that guy yourself.
It's weird, right? I mean obviously you have
an area of life where you are supremely
confident... Yet there you are, scared of girls.
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This is because there's a difference between
field specific confidence, and ROMANTIC
confidence.
You can have a guy who knows nothing about
anything, but he knows how to shag girls.
field specific confidence, and ROMANTIC
confidence.
You can have a guy who knows nothing about
anything, but he knows how to shag girls.
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And this guy, in general, is going to tend to
outperform almost every other guy when it comes
to doing great with women.
That's because women don't get many
opportunities to assess your OTHER kinds of
confidence.
outperform almost every other guy when it comes
to doing great with women.
That's because women don't get many
opportunities to assess your OTHER kinds of
confidence.
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They won't often see you on the slopes, or
the tennis court.
They aren't with you out on the field of
battle.
It is when you walk up to them that they get
the chance to gauge your confidence.
the tennis court.
They aren't with you out on the field of
battle.
It is when you walk up to them that they get
the chance to gauge your confidence.
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And while those other flavors of confidence
help feed into your general confidence, and
help make you more confident as a MAN...
It is your ROMANTIC confidence that
determines her impression of you when you walk
up and talk to her.
help feed into your general confidence, and
help make you more confident as a MAN...
It is your ROMANTIC confidence that
determines her impression of you when you walk
up and talk to her.
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WHERE TO GET MORE ROMANTIC CONFIDENCE
If there's anything you're skilled at, I'm
sure you remember how you progressed.
When you started out, you were just okay. Or
maybe you weren't okay. Maybe you were awful at it.
If there's anything you're skilled at, I'm
sure you remember how you progressed.
When you started out, you were just okay. Or
maybe you weren't okay. Maybe you were awful at it.
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Whatever the case, you shrugged off the early
failure and RESOLVED to get good at this thing.
So you hung in there, put the work in, took
the punishment, absorbed the failure, and
soldiered on.
failure and RESOLVED to get good at this thing.
So you hung in there, put the work in, took
the punishment, absorbed the failure, and
soldiered on.
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And, as time passed by, you improved.
One day you looked around and said, "Hey. I'm
pretty good!"
From that point on, you had confidence. And
your confidence in the field grew as your skill
did.
One day you looked around and said, "Hey. I'm
pretty good!"
From that point on, you had confidence. And
your confidence in the field grew as your skill
did.
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Romantic confidence works EXACTLY this way.
You're going to take some lumps when you
start out. You WON'T be confident... Yet.
But as you work at it, the results begin to
trickle in.
And as they trickle in, your confidence grows.
You're going to take some lumps when you
start out. You WON'T be confident... Yet.
But as you work at it, the results begin to
trickle in.
And as they trickle in, your confidence grows.
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The hard part about romance is that at the
beginning, it's a negative feedback loop. Girls
reject you, and you feel less confident. This
lower confidence leads to more rejections.
That's the slog. That's what takes a bit of
elbow grease to get past.
beginning, it's a negative feedback loop. Girls
reject you, and you feel less confident. This
lower confidence leads to more rejections.
That's the slog. That's what takes a bit of
elbow grease to get past.
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However, once you're past it, you discover
the Promised Land.
Inside that Promised Land is the Positive
Feedback Loop.
That's where you get good results with girls,
which leads to more confidence. And more
confidence leads to better results with girls.
the Promised Land.
Inside that Promised Land is the Positive
Feedback Loop.
That's where you get good results with girls,
which leads to more confidence. And more
confidence leads to better results with girls.
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This is the Story Arc. You've seen it in
almost every movie you've watched.
In the beginning, the hero just sucks at
everything.
Yet, he endures. He puts his shoulder to the
wheel and pushes.
almost every movie you've watched.
In the beginning, the hero just sucks at
everything.
Yet, he endures. He puts his shoulder to the
wheel and pushes.
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And in the end, he begins to succeed. And as
he begins to succeed, you can SEE his
confidence explode.
By the conclusion of the movie, he's the hero
you always knew he could be.
he begins to succeed, you can SEE his
confidence explode.
By the conclusion of the movie, he's the hero
you always knew he could be.
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The screenwriters didn't just pull this
concept out of their tuckuses. This is a REAL
phenomenon... And it's the same one you will go
through, too.
If you want it bad enough.
concept out of their tuckuses. This is a REAL
phenomenon... And it's the same one you will go
through, too.
If you want it bad enough.
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Don't worry, though. With a little work, and
some good advice (that's what I'm here for),
we'll get you there sooner than not.
For now, be sure you've grabbed my book,
"The Redpill Game" and Learn Game. Selar.co/redpill
some good advice (that's what I'm here for),
we'll get you there sooner than not.
For now, be sure you've grabbed my book,
"The Redpill Game" and Learn Game. Selar.co/redpill
