#bkdkbk Pre-430, Angst with a happy ending. This is not how Izuku...
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Apr 17, 2025
~30 min read
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#bkdkbk Pre-430, Angst with a happy ending.
This is not how Izuku planned to spend New Year's Eve.
When Best Jeanist famous New Year's party invite arrived in his mail a few weeks ago (like every year since he turned 18), he told himself he was going.
This is not how Izuku planned to spend New Year's Eve.
When Best Jeanist famous New Year's party invite arrived in his mail a few weeks ago (like every year since he turned 18), he told himself he was going.
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It couldn't hurt, right? He hadn't seen his friends in a while, and he had nothing better to do tonight except sitting on his couch and watching the New Year's countdown on his TV.
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He'd even chosen his outfit the night before and spent the whole previous week making /sure/ all of his schoolwork would be done and out of the way so he was free for tonight.
But Izuku had a hard time putting himself first.
But Izuku had a hard time putting himself first.
4
When he was leaving that night and realized that Ami, one of the sweetest English teachers he'd ever met, was still glued to her desk drowning in a sea of papers and with no visible intention of leaving anytime soon, his heart squeezed.
5
Ami had kids waiting for her at home, he knew from the pictures she always showed him with a dazzling smile. And if she was still working at 8 pm on a New Year’s Eve…
“Are you almost done, Ami-san?” he softly asked, peeking up from behind her cubicle wall.
“Are you almost done, Ami-san?” he softly asked, peeking up from behind her cubicle wall.
6
“Oh, no, Midoriya-san, unfortunately, I think I will be here a while,” she said, trying to hide her low spirits with a smile.
“You're not going home for New Year’s?” Izuku frowned.
“You're not going home for New Year’s?” Izuku frowned.
7
“I mean, I'll go home eventually tonight, but I will be missing dinner,” she sighed. “My kids are at my mom’s so they should be okay. I'll see them in the morning.”
The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them. “I can take care of that.”
The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them. “I can take care of that.”
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Ami paused, giving him a surprised look. She eyed the backpack hanging from his shoulder.
“Weren’t you about to leave?” Ami asked. “There isn't anyone waiting for you at home?”
“Weren’t you about to leave?” Ami asked. “There isn't anyone waiting for you at home?”
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“Well, my mom is visiting some relatives on the other side of the country so I'm alone this year,” he said, shifting on his feet.
"And your friends?" Ami insisted, sounding worried, "Don't you have any other plans for tonight?"
"And your friends?" Ami insisted, sounding worried, "Don't you have any other plans for tonight?"
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"Nothing important," Izuku lied, smiling and waving his hand around dismissively. "No one is waiting for me, so I'm sure it shouldn't be a problem."
That wasn't a lie, no matter how much it made an uncomfortable sensation set on his chest.
That wasn't a lie, no matter how much it made an uncomfortable sensation set on his chest.
11
It was not that poeple didn't invited him to spend New Years with them, especially kowing he wouldn't have any close family around ths year. But recently, one way or another, something always got in the way of him meeting with his friends.
Like tonight.
Like tonight.
12
Ami seemed troubled still, not entirely convinced that it was fine for him to stay behind doing her work while she happily left.
“Midoriya-san, you're very kind but I couldn't possibly-”
“Your kids probably miss you,” izuku added with a pointed look.
“Midoriya-san, you're very kind but I couldn't possibly-”
“Your kids probably miss you,” izuku added with a pointed look.
13
And that did it, because Ami stared at him for a few seconds before letting out a heavy sigh and then giving him the biggest smile izuku's ever seen on her to date.
"Thank you so much, Deku-San. You're a real hero!"
Yeah, right.
"Thank you so much, Deku-San. You're a real hero!"
Yeah, right.
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So that's how he ended up hunched over a desk that wasn't his, grading English exams that weren't from his class, and hearing his stomach growl at the thought of dinner.
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Katsuki would kill him if he found out about this. He already thought of him as someone “way too fucking selfless for his own good.”Izuku always denied it, but deep down, he knew he always ended up giving in.
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On second thought, maybe this was for the best. The party was exclusive to people in the hero industry, which he had nothing to do with anymore. He actually didn't know why they kept inviting him. He figured Jeanist was just being kind.
17
If he was being honest with himself, oddly, he was looking forward to Jeanist party tonight. It wasn't something he would usually attend, but this year, he felt the need to go.
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But he couldn't have turned a blind eye to Ami’s despair. He didn't think he would have been able to sleep that night knowing he went home while Ami’s kids spent New Year’s without their mom. He wanted to cry just thinking about sad little faces and an empty place at the table.
19
So he powered through, yawning and battling the meanest back pain he’d had in /years/ (who would have thought sitting on a desk all day would be worse for his back than getting slammed into concrete buildings?) with the help of some ibuprofen and a third cup of instant coffee.
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As the night progressed, the sounds outside the window became louder and livelier. His eyes helplessly followed the noise, getting distracted by watching all kinds of people crowding the streets below him.
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Kids with sparklers running around and chasing each other, couples walking hand by hand in the decorated streets, dressed up people and friends heading to parties and dinners.
Something in his stomach fell. He awkwardly bit the inside of his cheek until it stung.
Something in his stomach fell. He awkwardly bit the inside of his cheek until it stung.
22
He forced his eyes back to the papers.
Lately, it always felt like that.
Life passed before him as he felt frozen in time. Everyone moved on, working so hard to pave their way toward a life they wanted after surviving something as aggravating as fighting a war at 16.
Lately, it always felt like that.
Life passed before him as he felt frozen in time. Everyone moved on, working so hard to pave their way toward a life they wanted after surviving something as aggravating as fighting a war at 16.
23
Society rebuilt itself, still flawed but with little changes on its new foundations, with the world yet to see if they were good enough to not fall back into past mistakes.
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A lot of heroes retired, others barely started working, and many more switched career paths, realizing the life of a hero was not meant for them after they experienced the sacrifice it required.
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Izuku often wondered what he would have done if he had been given the choice. The answer was always the same, no matter how much he ran away from the thought, it didn't make it any less tormenting.
The clock struck 10:45 pm, and izuku decided it was a good moment for a break.
The clock struck 10:45 pm, and izuku decided it was a good moment for a break.
26
Finishing up his coffee and throwing the paper cup into the trash, he got out of the teacher's office to find his way to the stairs.
Being in school at night never stopped being sort of creepy, but now as an adult, he couldn't help the fond of the childish feeling it gave him.
Being in school at night never stopped being sort of creepy, but now as an adult, he couldn't help the fond of the childish feeling it gave him.
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They were so young at the time, so naive and full of hope. Every time he looked at his students he couldn't help but see himself and his friends all those years ago. The still-present baby fat on their cheeks, the sparkle in their eyes, their hunger to change the world.
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He can't believe he looked like that when he carried the world on his shoulders.
Despite class 1-A having such chaotic years when they were younger, they also made a lot of sweet memories together.
Despite class 1-A having such chaotic years when they were younger, they also made a lot of sweet memories together.
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They created a bond that was hard to break, and it showed in the way they all made a huge effort to keep in touch despite their busy schedules.
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Izuku can't lie and say he didn't feel a bit out of place at the class reunions sometimes. They never excluded him, but in the end, what could a teacher say that was more exciting than fighting villains and rescuing civilians?
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He mostly sat and listened, nursing the same beer for as long as the reunion lasted.
Sure, he had a lot of stories himself, mostly about his students and his co-workers at the school. But he was rarely on them.
Sure, he had a lot of stories himself, mostly about his students and his co-workers at the school. But he was rarely on them.
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He felt like a spectator in his own life, an outsider. And lately, it was driving him crazy.
Once he opened the rusty metal door to the roof, he was hit with the cool December air.
Once he opened the rusty metal door to the roof, he was hit with the cool December air.
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He left his jacket inside. Izuku pondered going back for it, but the cold made him feel more awake, so he decided against it.
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He walked close to the edge and stopped a few steps before reaching the border. The adrenaline of looking down reminded him of his old days when he jumped between roofs and saw his reflection on skyscrapers.
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It seemed like a different lifetime.
If he fell now, he wouldn't float. Blackwhip tendrils wouldn't stick to the edge. One For All wouldn't save him.
If he fell now, he wouldn't float. Blackwhip tendrils wouldn't stick to the edge. One For All wouldn't save him.
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The rush of excitement that zapped through his veins like electricity every time he peeked down to the busy streets kept him sane somehow, it gave his nervous system something to chew on, so he chose that spot to stay.
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He pulled the pack of cigarettes from his pocket, fishing one out, then put it between his lips to light it, blocking the wind with his other hand.
His hands still ached with the cold, and that wasn't going away.
His hands still ached with the cold, and that wasn't going away.
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It was like a constant reminder of what he used to be, along with the scars all over his body. Izuku was never sure how he felt about them, and now, they made him feel like a stranger.
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He had them for almost most of his life now, but Izuku has never felt more self-conscious about them like he did now.
A young high-school teacher full of scars and poorly healed broken bones. Must be quite a sight.
A young high-school teacher full of scars and poorly healed broken bones. Must be quite a sight.
40
He inhaled deeply, allowing the smoke to warm his lungs, and then he blew it out through his nose.
“If that thing doesn't kill you, I will.”
He nearly choked, turning around to find the owner of the voice he knew so well.
“If that thing doesn't kill you, I will.”
He nearly choked, turning around to find the owner of the voice he knew so well.
41
He stared at the blond approaching him with bewildered eyes. “Kacchan, what are you doing here?”
“Nothing, I just love going to empty schools at night as a hobby.”
“Nothing, I just love going to empty schools at night as a hobby.”
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He was dressed/nicely/. Well, he always dressed like the son of two fashion designers that he was, but tonight he looked especially neat in his all-black look. He was wearing black dress pants and a tight, pristine dress shirt with the first few buttons undone.
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He had the leather jacket he wore for his bike still on, which means he probably rode it here. That explains why izuku didn’t hear the explosions of his arrival, he must have used the stairs.
He looked do devilishly handsome.
He looked do devilishly handsome.
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"Weren't you at dinner with your parents?"
“They told me your mom went out, so I figured you'd see that as an open invitation to overwork tonight,” he replied, very judgmentally.
“They told me your mom went out, so I figured you'd see that as an open invitation to overwork tonight,” he replied, very judgmentally.
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He stopped in front of izuku with a determined scowl on his face. “I came to bring your ass back with me."
Izuku’s heart squeezed. “Ah, thank you, Kacchan, but I can't-”
“I wasn't asking.”
“I'm just taking a break, but I have to go back to keep grading some English tests…”
Izuku’s heart squeezed. “Ah, thank you, Kacchan, but I can't-”
“I wasn't asking.”
“I'm just taking a break, but I have to go back to keep grading some English tests…”
46
“English?” Katsuki raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you teach English?”
“Uh,” Izuku nervously scratched the back of his neck, “they aren't from my class.”
“Uh,” Izuku nervously scratched the back of his neck, “they aren't from my class.”
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Katsuki gave him a flat stare, and it took izuku every ounce of his strength not to look away in embarrassment because /he knew/ what Kacchan was thinking.
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“You're fucking unbelievable, you know that?” Kacchan scolded him. “I can't believe that not even on New Year's Eve your workaholic ass can go home at a decent hour.”
“Look who's talking,” izuku said defensively, “You've been working triple shifts!”
“Look who's talking,” izuku said defensively, “You've been working triple shifts!”
49
“You keep track of my schedule?” he said, first surprised, then teasing. “Stalker.”
“It's not hard to know, our friends are always complaining you never spend time with them anymore,” the teacher said defensively (nice save).
“It's not hard to know, our friends are always complaining you never spend time with them anymore,” the teacher said defensively (nice save).
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“As if I'd spend my free time in all of their dumb hangouts,” Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Besides, that's none of your business because, unlike you, I know how to rest every once in a while.”
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“Kacchan,” izuku sighed. “I really can't leave. I promised Ami I would take care of that.”
He was under Kacchan’s scrutinizing gaze for what felt like an eternity.
He was under Kacchan’s scrutinizing gaze for what felt like an eternity.
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He could see the disapproval painting his handsome face, and somehow, despite having a red nose and cheeks thanks to the cold weather, he still managed to look intimidating.
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Crimson eyes that always rattled Izuku from the inside out traveled to the lit cigarette he was still holding between his fingers. The blond grimaced.
“You told me you would quit.”
“I never said that.”
“You calling me a liar, Deku?”
“You told me you would quit.”
“I never said that.”
“You calling me a liar, Deku?”
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Izuku wanted to groan. “I said I'll think about it.”
“Then I'm saying it,” Katsuki snatched the cigarette from him so fast that Izuku didn't have time to react. He tossed it into the ground and stepped on it with his fancy dress shoes until the fire died. “You are quitting.”
“Then I'm saying it,” Katsuki snatched the cigarette from him so fast that Izuku didn't have time to react. He tossed it into the ground and stepped on it with his fancy dress shoes until the fire died. “You are quitting.”
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“Kacchan,” the former hero muttered, trying to sound annoyed. It came out a little too fond instead. This was Kacchan’s way of worrying about him, and it made his chest tighten. “I need a way to relax, you know? A lot of people smoke.”
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“Yeah, stupid people with a death wish,” he replied with exasperation. Katsuki had always hated that he smoked, and he was never quiet about it. “You could play bingo or join a book club, not buying a ticket to lung cancer in twenty years.”
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“You're being too optimistic,” izuku joked, but Kacchan didn't laugh, just glared daggers at him in response.
“I don't know how you even go near those things,” the hero eyed the cigarette on the ground with disdain.
“I don't know how you even go near those things,” the hero eyed the cigarette on the ground with disdain.
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Katsuki moved a few steps forward, hands in his pockets, and glanced down to the streets like Izuku had done a few minutes prior.
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He plopped down and sat on the edge of the building, feet dangling like any false movement wouldn't send him to a deadly fall (it wouldn't, Izuku had to remind himself, Katsuki could still fly).
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“Like your body isn't fucked up enough,” he murmured under his breath, but Izuku heard it loud and clear.
Izuku's skin itched, like something ugly was trapped underneath. Carefully, he closed the distance between him and the border.
Izuku's skin itched, like something ugly was trapped underneath. Carefully, he closed the distance between him and the border.
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He grabbed onto Katsuki's shoulder and sat beside him, allowing himself to enjoy the thrill of being so close to a free fall again. He wouldn't do it if Katsuki wasn't there, and they both knew it; it didn't make the blond scowl any less.
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“I don't think it would make that much of a difference,” Izuku said, eyes lost in the skyline. It was pitch black, loudly contrasting with all the lights below. The city was wide awake, and so were the people.
“What?” Katsuki scoffs. “Dying young?”
“What?” Katsuki scoffs. “Dying young?”
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“No, to my body, I meant,” he replied. "You've said it yourself, it will never be the same again so, who even cares?"
Katsuki's expression soured. Izuku knew then he had pushed the wrong button.
Katsuki's expression soured. Izuku knew then he had pushed the wrong button.
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"I fucking care, asshole," he said, raising his voice. Izuku's mouth opened in a silent gasp, eyes wide. "What kind of shit are you trying to pull, huh? I get that you've never treated yourself with an ounce of respect but this is just pathetic-"
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"I respect myself," Izuku shot back, the offense reaching a sore spot he didn't know was there but as always, Kacchan knew how to reach. "You have no right-"
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"if someone has the right to call you out on your bullshit it's/me/," katsuki stated. "You wouldn't even eat enough not to starve if I wasn't dragging you to lunch somewhere every day. You wouldn't sleep more than 5 hours, you would work yourself to death if you could."
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"I didn't ask you to do any of that!" Izuku snapped, "If it bothers you so damn much why are you here? Why aren't you off and living your life like everybody else? I never forced you to stay with me," his words weighed heavy on his tongue, and his hands were shaking.
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/That's not true, Please don't leave me. I dont know what's hapening. Please don't leave me. Don't leave me. Don't leave me. I'm scared. I need you. Please, stay./
Katsuki snapped his mouth shut, his eyes widening for a brief moment before he willed his face back to a scowl.
Katsuki snapped his mouth shut, his eyes widening for a brief moment before he willed his face back to a scowl.
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Why had he said that? Why is he acting like that? Izuku felt desperate, like a cornered animal, biting the hand that was reaching out to help him. But he couldn't stop. He didn't understand, he-
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"Why didn't you go to Jeanists’ party?" The change of subject caught him by surprise, but he did his best to hide it behind an earnest face.
"I told you, Ami needed help."
"But you wanted to go, didn't you?"
"I told you, Ami needed help."
"But you wanted to go, didn't you?"
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Izuku’s throat dried. He looked away, jaw tense. “That's not the point.”
Katsuki blew air out of his nose sarcastically. He leaned back, supporting his weight on his both hands on the ground. “It never is.”
Katsuki blew air out of his nose sarcastically. He leaned back, supporting his weight on his both hands on the ground. “It never is.”
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Silence fell over them. Despite all the commotion happening below, the quiet stretching between them was suffocating.
Izuku observed him from the corner of his eye, trying to understand what he was getting at.
Izuku observed him from the corner of his eye, trying to understand what he was getting at.
73
The fickering glow from the city played figures in the sharp edges of his face, reflecting colors and bright flashes of light where bones would have drawn shadows. The heartbeat-shaped scar on his cheek stayed a faded pink, it only added to his appeal.
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“One day, you're gonna have to put yourself first,” Katsuki spoke without looking at him. “You never have, and it has always been one of the things that infuriates me the most about you. I just hope it's not too late when you finally decide to do it.”
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Izuku’s eyes widen, at a loss for words. Why was Kacchan telling him this? Why now, after all these years?
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“All Might never did it, and look how that worked out for him,” Katsuki continued. “I doubt this is the way he wanted his life to go, and I'm sure as hell he doesn't want the same for you.”
“All Might was the greatest hero the world’s ever seen.”
“All Might was the greatest hero the world’s ever seen.”
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“And what's left for him after, Izuku?” Katsuki snapped, finally turning his eyes back on him. — Izuku is surprised not to find anger in them, but something much more severe. Raw, like a fresh burn.
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"Don't tell me you don't think he couldn't have made better choices, because I know it's bullshit."
Just as he saw himself in his students, he knew All might saw himself in him; his own student, his successor.
Just as he saw himself in his students, he knew All might saw himself in him; his own student, his successor.
79
Once they had been connected through something thicker than blood, a cursed power that came to this world from someone's desire to change it. Even after the last ember burned out inside his worn-out body, they will always be part of each other.
80
All Might had asked him what he wanted to do now that One For All wasn't burdening him anymore.
Izuku couldn't respond.
"What are you waiting for, Izuku?"
"For what?"
"To start doing something with your damn life."
Izuku couldn't respond.
"What are you waiting for, Izuku?"
"For what?"
"To start doing something with your damn life."
81
Katsuki's words hit him like a train, brutally winding all the air out of his lungs. If they hadn't been so close to the truth Izuku was so desperately trying to run away from, he wouldn't have graced Katsuki with a response; wouldn't have indulged his attempts for a fight.
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Izuku's jaw tensed so much that his teeth ground together out loud. "I am living my life."
"You're stuck in the comfort zone," Katsuki clicked his teeth, impertinent and so self-assured.
"You're stuck in the comfort zone," Katsuki clicked his teeth, impertinent and so self-assured.
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"Thought teaching was meant to be something provisional while you got back on track, not where you were gonna spend the rest of your fucking life."
“Provisional?” Izuku frowned. “Whay else could I do?”
“Provisional?” Izuku frowned. “Whay else could I do?”
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acchan shot him a puzzled look. He opened his mouth and then closed it with so much force his teeth clicked. He exhaled, but it sounded more like a frustrated growl.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Katsuki.”
“Just forget about it.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Katsuki.”
“Just forget about it.”
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Izuku studied him, katsuki’s obvious frustration bleeding to him, pooling at his feet, contagious.
“Oh, I get it.” Izuku said, bitterly ironic.
“Whatever you're thinking, don't,” Katsuki warned.
“Oh, I get it.” Izuku said, bitterly ironic.
“Whatever you're thinking, don't,” Katsuki warned.
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“I think I do,” Izuku hissed. "And I'm sorry that you're so disappointed, and excuse me if being a teacher is not as remarkable as being a hero, Dynamight," Izuku sardonically remarked. "Some of us are doing the best we can with the little we have."
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"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"You know what."
"How dare you say that," Katsuki snarled in a husky voice, incredulous at the accusation. "How fucking dare you say that crap to me?"
"You know what."
"How dare you say that," Katsuki snarled in a husky voice, incredulous at the accusation. "How fucking dare you say that crap to me?"
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He stands up and walks away from the edge, shaking his head, clenching his hands into fits at his sides, knuckles turned white. The look of crude betrayal on his face was a punch straight to Izuku's gut, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out to him and apologize.
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But he couldn't.
They were both equally stubborn, and that's what drew them together as much as it violently shoved them apart.
They were both equally stubborn, and that's what drew them together as much as it violently shoved them apart.
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"I was the one who told you to take the job. I dropped you off for your licensing exam and then picked you up when it was over. You think all of that was bullshit just so I could gloat about how much better I think I am than you?"
"You're putting words in my mouth-"
"You're putting words in my mouth-"
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"Am I?" Katsuki said, eyes narrow. "Listen to yourself. I think less of you because you're a teacher or are you just projecting onto me, Izuku?"
92
"I like being a teacher!" Izuku shouted. "I love it, and I love my kids. Teaching is the only meaningful thing I have left in my life, somewhere I can make a difference." He hated the way his voice broke, trailing off until it faded.
93
His pitch dropped into a low tremor when he admitted, "And I try, so, so hard to tell myself that teaching is enough, that I should be grateful I even get to do that. But- I also think… who am I to tell those kids how to be heroes when I know nothing about it?"
94
"Don't fucking say that!" The blonde barked, teeth bared. "You sacrificed everything you had to save us, and you didn't even think twice, you just did it, like the most heroic lunatic I've ever seen. If someone can teach those brats something about heroism, it's you!"
95
"I killed a person," Izuku corrected, staring down into Katsuki's soul. "There is no saving in that. No heroism. When I see Shigaraki I just… I can't forget it, Kacchan, I can't forgive myself."
"What the hell do you mean "see him"?”
"What the hell do you mean "see him"?”
96
"His ghost, or something like that. He never talks to me, but he doesn't need to. It's weird, and I hate it. Keeps me right there, in the past."
"This is not only your burden to carry."
"This is not only your burden to carry."
97
Katsuki was breathing in that way that his therapist taught him to control his emotions, Izuku could see it by how his nostrils flared every few seconds.
98
"We were all there, all of us pushed you forward. If you feel like that, then at least share the guilt with us, but don't just let yourself rot in it, it won't get you anywhere," he said.
99
"I have nowhere to go," Izuku replied with a shaky voice. "I feel so useless, I can't do the only thing I set my mind on for so many years."
100
"Then find something else you're passionate about! You're still here, you're still alive, why are you acting like your life ended with the war? That's not the Deku I've known my whole life."
101
"What would you know?" Izuku sharply retorted, exhaustion beginning to weigh on his limbs, uncovering the messiest parts of him.
102
"You have your whole life ahead of you. You still have your quirk, you're an amazing hero. You could be anything you wanted, be with anyone, do whatever. I don't have that luxury, Kacchan."
"You have your whole life ahead of you too, what the fuck are you talking about?"
"You have your whole life ahead of you too, what the fuck are you talking about?"
103
"I am quirkless, Kacchan! Have you forgotten that?" Izuku's voice rips along with something frail inside him, and he breaks. "The time I spent living my dream was always borrowed!"
104
"And when has that ever stopped you?" Katsuki argued, unrelenting, driving Izuku close to madness. "If you want to be a hero then we will find a way to make it happen. You've never needed a quirk to be a hero, not when you were 4, or 10, or 15, and you still don't need it now."
105
The weather grew progressively colder, and the air stabbed his lungs with every jagged breath he took. His throat felt dry and raw, his eyes prickled, his chest hurt and his joints stung when he moved.
106
Suddenly, all the anger and exasperation building up inside him bursted, and he deflated, feeling small inside his broken body.
He was so, so tired of feeling like this.
He let out a humorless laugh, making a titanic effort not to let the tears fall from his burning eyes.
He was so, so tired of feeling like this.
He let out a humorless laugh, making a titanic effort not to let the tears fall from his burning eyes.
107
"Talk to me," Katsuki said, almost pleading, painfully sincere in his tough concern. "Izuku, talk to me."
Izuku stopped and tried to figure the cataclysm of emotions he had been harvoring for God knew how long.
Izuku stopped and tried to figure the cataclysm of emotions he had been harvoring for God knew how long.
108
He took a moment to stare at his best friend. The man who despite all their complex history, always had his back. Who once he decided he wanted to make it right, had lived by his word ever since.
109
His first emergency contact at the hospital and on his phone, who he gave the only extra copy of the keys to his apartment as soon as he got them. The one he called when bitter memories troubled his sleep, and the one who was always ready to pick him up when he fell to pieces.
110
The man who has had his heart since the first time they met at a playground on a sunny summer day before starting preschool.
Izuku might not understand why, but Katsuki had chosen to stay by his side over and over again. Speaking volumes with his actions, as he did best.
Izuku might not understand why, but Katsuki had chosen to stay by his side over and over again. Speaking volumes with his actions, as he did best.
111
Even after One For All burnt out to the brisk and there was nothing left of him but a bunch of trauma and a throbbing lack of purpose, when Izuku was certain he'd be lost and forgotten, he never turned away.
112
The truth was, ever since he lost his quirk and his dream the very same day, he felt as if he was back to being four and sitting in the doctor's office with his extra pinky bone mocking him from the ex-ray table,
113
with his mother crying behind him and his little heart being crushed to dust.
In the back of his mind, the excruciating fear of not being good enough now that he was back to being just plain, quirkless Izuku, had been picking at his brain little by little.
In the back of his mind, the excruciating fear of not being good enough now that he was back to being just plain, quirkless Izuku, had been picking at his brain little by little.
114
Many things scared him.
But losing Kacchan would forever be his greatest nightmare. No matter the reason.
But losing Kacchan would forever be his greatest nightmare. No matter the reason.
115
And right then, in front of his best friend, he was bare to the cruel winter night to freeze his bones until they broke and made him crumble into himself, becoming nothing but speaks of a kid whose dream ended before it even started, leaving him empty and worn.
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He took a deep, uneven breath, and stopped pushing all of the corrosion inside him back down, allowing it to climb up his throat and spill from his mouth like a liquid venom.
117
"Everyone… they're all moving forward. They all worked so hard for their dreams after everything that happened, they live the life they /want/. I can't help feeling like I don't belong with you guys anymore, even when everyone so kindly tries to include me."
118
"But it's not the same, and it will never be again because I will forever be quirkless and a failure."
"Izuku," his best friend approached him with slow steps, as if he was scared to spook him away.
"Izuku," his best friend approached him with slow steps, as if he was scared to spook him away.
119
Izuku swallowed the lump in his throat and threw his head back, closed his eyes, and focused on the night breeze to keep him in the present.
He was shaking, hands now numb with pain and cold. He tried opening them to place them to rub at his eyes, but his joints were locked.
He was shaking, hands now numb with pain and cold. He tried opening them to place them to rub at his eyes, but his joints were locked.
120
Izuku winced, unable to hide his discomfort.
Katsuki silently observed him, eyes darting to the movement of his hands. His face softened when he figured out what was going on.
Katsuki silently observed him, eyes darting to the movement of his hands. His face softened when he figured out what was going on.
121
He wordlessly took Izuku's hands in his, using his quirk to warm them up, gently rubbing his thumbs across his aching knuckles to spread the heat faster.
"Izuku," Katsuki called again. "Look at me."
"Izuku," Katsuki called again. "Look at me."
122
The softness in his voice was what forced Izuku to open his eyes, tears spilling across his cold cheeks, finding himself face-to-face with his oldest friend.
123
"I am right here, with you," he said, "Haven't I been here all this time? I'm not leaving you behind, we'll both go, anywhere, when you're ready. Together."
Finally, Izuku dared to ask the question that had been prowling in his brain and eating away at his heart.
Finally, Izuku dared to ask the question that had been prowling in his brain and eating away at his heart.
124
"Why are you still here, kacchan?" He cried, shoulders shaking with a poorly contained sob.
'Cause you're worth staying for, Izuku," he simply replied, wiping his tears with his warmed thumb. "I don't ever wanna go anywhere you can't follow."
'Cause you're worth staying for, Izuku," he simply replied, wiping his tears with his warmed thumb. "I don't ever wanna go anywhere you can't follow."
125
"But I’ll just hold you back.” He sniffed.
"You're not doing shit, 's all me, don't you get it?" Katstuki said, cupping his cheek, holding his stare into Izuku's with the same fiery intensity that defined his very being. "I want to be with you. Don't care where. Don't care how."
"You're not doing shit, 's all me, don't you get it?" Katstuki said, cupping his cheek, holding his stare into Izuku's with the same fiery intensity that defined his very being. "I want to be with you. Don't care where. Don't care how."
126
Izuku observed him through the moisture of his eyes as a storm of contradicting emotions washed over him and spat him clean into the shore.
He started shaking his head, incredulous, breathing quickly and choking on the words that refused to leave his throat.
He started shaking his head, incredulous, breathing quickly and choking on the words that refused to leave his throat.
127
Katsuki brought his other hand to pace it on his other cheek, gently cradling his face, keeping him steady, giving him somewhere to root in so he wouldn't fade away.
128
"Kacchan," he croaked out, slapping his hands over Kacchan's wrists, suddenly desperate for his closeness, for his warmth, his skin. "What— what are you…?"
"Remember what I said at the hospital?"
Izuku had to take a second, brain too foggy to properly think, but he nodded.
"Remember what I said at the hospital?"
Izuku had to take a second, brain too foggy to properly think, but he nodded.
129
"When I said I wanted to chase you for the rest of our lives, I didn't just mean being heroes," His thumb stroked his cheek just as he did with his knuckles before, spreading warmness and unspoken affection. Izuku leaned onto it.
130
"I want to be with you in every way there is, doing whatever makes you happy."
"You make me happy," Izuku replied, drunk under his attention. "It's always been you, Kacchan. Always."
"You make me happy," Izuku replied, drunk under his attention. "It's always been you, Kacchan. Always."
131
Without realizing it, their faces had gotten close enough to feel their warm breaths cutting through the cold spell. Izuku couldn't see or think about anything that wasn't Katsuki, and for the first time in a while, his mind went pleasantly quiet.
132
"Me too," Katsuki mutters, more a breath than words, and looks down at his chapped lips. "It's always been you for me too."
Katsuki rubbed the tip of his nose across his cheek, tilting his head. Then their noses touched, both chilled and red, but neither of them cared.
Katsuki rubbed the tip of his nose across his cheek, tilting his head. Then their noses touched, both chilled and red, but neither of them cared.
133
Katsuki was still holding his face between his quirked-warmed hands, but Izuku's hands had found a home on his waist, underneath his jacket, rumpling the fabric of his previously immaculate shirt between his fingers.
134
Izuku tilted his head to the opposite side, his eyes getting hazy and droopy, and their breaths mingled.
"You want this?" Katsuki mused over his mouth, merely a whisper, so close that their lips brushed against each other.
Izuku's knees nearly buckled. "Want /you/."
"You want this?" Katsuki mused over his mouth, merely a whisper, so close that their lips brushed against each other.
Izuku's knees nearly buckled. "Want /you/."
135
And just like that, the world stopped spinning on its axis when Katsuki closed the little distance between them with the gentle push of his mouth on his.
It wasn't chaste, but it wasn't lewd either.
It wasn't chaste, but it wasn't lewd either.
136
The press of their lips together felt like tasting the greatest calm during the most ravishing tempest; one couldn't exist without the other, and it was the perfect balance between them.
137
They kissed like they hadn't seen each other in years and also like they slept in the same bed. With tender patience and bruising avidity, like two faces of the same coin.
138
Fireworks started going off all around them, showering them with colorful, shifting lights. They were too busy to notice that the New year had caught up to them.
Izuuk's hands climbed to the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.
Izuuk's hands climbed to the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.
139
Katsuki's chest rumbled, and he groaned against his mouth when Izuku parted his lips for him, moving his hand from his cheek to the back of his neck, fingers getting lost in green curls, possessively cradling his nape.
140
When his lungs began burning at the lack of air, Izuku was forced to reluctantly pull apart just enough to gasp. Katsuki took the opportunity to breathe, too, and dropped his forehead over Izuku's.
141
"Just give me time," Katsuki whispered, eyes still closed. "I swear, izuku. Whatever you want, I'll make it happen."
142
Izuku felt another sob trying to escape his chest, but he stopped it. Instead, he kissed the corner of the blonde's right eye, making it flutter open along with the other one.
143
"Okay," Izuku said, lips curving up in a smirk. Then he chewed on what Kacchan said a bit more and his eyebrows drew slightly closer. "Time?"
Katsuki's eyes turned uncharacteristically round. The apple of his cheeks flushed a brighter shade pink, and he bit his lip.
Katsuki's eyes turned uncharacteristically round. The apple of his cheeks flushed a brighter shade pink, and he bit his lip.
144
"Just… trust me. Please."
"Okay," he repeated.
He could think about whatever Kacchan was hiding later. It was too hard right now with his lips still tingling and his skin feeling like it was on fire under Kacchan's touch.
"Okay," he repeated.
He could think about whatever Kacchan was hiding later. It was too hard right now with his lips still tingling and his skin feeling like it was on fire under Kacchan's touch.
145
A wind of cold air whistled through them, making Izuku shiver. Katsuki seemed then to take note of his lack of appropriate clothing. He frowned.
"Why aren't you wearing a jacket?"
"Why aren't you wearing a jacket?"
146
"I forgot it inside," Izuku confessed. "And, well, I never thought I would be up here past midnight. That's your fault."
Katsuki gave an amused glare his way. With a sigh, he took off his jacket and dropped it on Izuku's shoulders.
Katsuki gave an amused glare his way. With a sigh, he took off his jacket and dropped it on Izuku's shoulders.
147
"Don't want your ass getting sick on me on New Year."
Izuku immediately grabbed onto it, greedily inhaling the lingering scent of Katsuki's cologne on the leather, melting under the fabric.
Izuku immediately grabbed onto it, greedily inhaling the lingering scent of Katsuki's cologne on the leather, melting under the fabric.
148
After all the intense emotions they went through tonight, the newfound tranquility was, although rare among them, more than welcome. It felt like they had settled some ancient beast and now they were able to bask in the afterglow of the fight, enjoy their fairly-earned victory.
149
Izuku fiddled with the zipper of Katsuki's jacket. "Do you… wanna help me grade some English tests so we can get out of here?"
Katsuki reached for his hand, interlacing their fingers like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Katsuki reached for his hand, interlacing their fingers like it was the most natural thing in the world.
150
Perhaps it was, they just didn't know it before.
"And do what?"
"Maybe we can still go to Jeanist."
Katsuki quirked a brow. "Do you wanna go?"
"Only if you go with me."
"I told you, dumbass," he said, insult anything if not fond. Kacchan smiled. "Anywhere you want."
"And do what?"
"Maybe we can still go to Jeanist."
Katsuki quirked a brow. "Do you wanna go?"
"Only if you go with me."
"I told you, dumbass," he said, insult anything if not fond. Kacchan smiled. "Anywhere you want."
151
Izuku didn't plan to spend the New Year like this.
But as they went back inside, still hand to hand, to grade exams while competing to see who could finish faster, between stolen kisses and laughter, Izuku couldn't have asked for anything better.
But as they went back inside, still hand to hand, to grade exams while competing to see who could finish faster, between stolen kisses and laughter, Izuku couldn't have asked for anything better.
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Happy 2025 everyone!
I wanna give a special thanks to my beta and best friend, who helped me work out this fic that was SUCH A MESS in the beginning. We've been losing sleep over it for the last 3 days, but somehow we made it work in time for tonight.
Hope you enjoy it 🫶🏻
I wanna give a special thanks to my beta and best friend, who helped me work out this fic that was SUCH A MESS in the beginning. We've been losing sleep over it for the last 3 days, but somehow we made it work in time for tonight.
Hope you enjoy it 🫶🏻
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as always, you can donate to my ☕ if you liked my work, everything is deeply appreciated 💚🧡
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