The biggest ick isn’t just someone who lies. It’s someone who lies...
Your Emotional Healing Coach@AfsaRosette
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Jan 08, 2026
~3 min read
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The biggest ick isn’t just someone who lies. It’s someone who lies to themselves. A flip flopper, fantasy addict, emotional con artist. A validation addict & emotionally unavailable love bomber who performs closeness but has no real anchor inside. Let me explain:
Chaos@kizzriee
Maturing is realizing that ………..?
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It’s the person who will swear up & down that they never loved their ex, that you’re different, that they’re ready, that they feel something deep with you they’ve never felt before… only to run back to the very thing they claimed to be done with the moment you walk away.
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They’ll do it all with the same sincerity. The same words & desperation they once used to beg for you.
That’s the mind f*ck. Bc none of it feels fake when they say it. And maybe they do mean it… in the moment.
That’s the mind f*ck. Bc none of it feels fake when they say it. And maybe they do mean it… in the moment.
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But moments aren’t enough when someone has no emotional backbone. It’s confusing bc it feels real.
They did choose you… for as long as you were their emotional oxygen. They believe the emotion in the room is who they are until they leave the room.
They did choose you… for as long as you were their emotional oxygen. They believe the emotion in the room is who they are until they leave the room.
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But this type of person doesn’t actually love, they attache & cling. They perform devotion to the one who gives them the highest dose of attention, possibility, of escape. And when the fantasy cracks, they pivot quickly.
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When you’ve been hurt before, you can become hypersensitive to hope. You might sense the red flags. But if they’re wrapped in reassurances and surface level sacrifices, screenshots, confessions, it’s easy to think this time might be diff.
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But sometimes the “proof” isn’t proof of change It’s proof of how far someone will go to preserve a fantasy. Ppl like this are never alone. They can’t be.
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They move from one emotional supply to another: from car to car bc stillness feels like death to someone who’s never built a self outside of who wants them.
They can’t be without an option… bc their ego can’t survive emotional silence. If you go, what does that say about them?
They can’t be without an option… bc their ego can’t survive emotional silence. If you go, what does that say about them?
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So they keep someone in the background. A plan B. A backup. A roster. Out of a deep inability to sit with lack, uncertainty & rejection.
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And they will destroy every connection they claim to value to avoid that one truth: They don’t know how to be with themselves. So they collect people to fill the silence they never learned to face.
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They’ll sabotage you to preserve that. And that’s what makes it so hard to walk away bc it’s not that they were all bad. It’s that they were too many things. Too many versions, shifts & faces.
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The most dangerous kind of person isn’t the one who lies to others. It’s the one who hasn’t realised they’re lying to themselves. Bc when someone can’t confront their own emptiness, they’ll make you carry it.
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They’ll shape shift to survive the discomfort of being unseen, by themselves. They’ll mimic commitment without ever forming integrity. Love requires a stable sense of self. Without it, relationships become survival mechanisms.
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1 person clings. The other carries. And neither is ever met. This isn’t about whether they meant it in the moment. The question is: Was there a “them” to mean it? Or were they just becoming whoever he needed to be to not feel abandoned?
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For more guidance on how to let go download my ebooks below or book a coaching session with me below beacons.ai/afsarosette
