90% of coaching is helping people get out of their own way. Ego,...
Steve Magness@stevemagness
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Jan 04, 2026
~3 min read
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90% of coaching is helping people get out of their own way.
Ego, fear of failure, status anxiety, external validation = Get in our way.
I've spent 20 years working with elite performers on how to get the most out of ourselves.
Here are the key lessons:
Ego, fear of failure, status anxiety, external validation = Get in our way.
I've spent 20 years working with elite performers on how to get the most out of ourselves.
Here are the key lessons:
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1. Success causes us to narrow toward obsession, which helps in the short term, but backfires over the long haul. Cultivating perspective is the antidote
2. You’re only as good as those around you. Surround yourself wisely
3. Hard mindless work is easy. Hard intentional work is hard.
2. You’re only as good as those around you. Surround yourself wisely
3. Hard mindless work is easy. Hard intentional work is hard.
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4. Be deliberate on your work AND recovery. We’re good at the former, not the later.
5. It’s easy to major in the minors. Keep the main thing the main thing.
6. Resist the urge to always step-in. Let people wrestle with problems.
7. Coach people up. Teach them the skills. Then let them do their job. Resist micromanaging.
5. It’s easy to major in the minors. Keep the main thing the main thing.
6. Resist the urge to always step-in. Let people wrestle with problems.
7. Coach people up. Teach them the skills. Then let them do their job. Resist micromanaging.
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8. Complex to simple. Chasing complexity fools you (and others) into thinking you are on the right path.
9. Work on eliminating. A good book is made great by cutting the mess, not by adding more writing. Same goes for most things in life.
10. Think ecosystem, not egosystem. Raising your whole environment up will life you up as well.
9. Work on eliminating. A good book is made great by cutting the mess, not by adding more writing. Same goes for most things in life.
10. Think ecosystem, not egosystem. Raising your whole environment up will life you up as well.
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11. Know when you are building and when you are maintaining. We can’t grow in every aspect all at once. Going into maintenance mode, allows space to grow elsewhere.
12.Use your environment to help you. Create your own home-field advantage for whatever tasks you care about.
13. Find the right state. Figure out how to prime yourself for the work you want to do.
12.Use your environment to help you. Create your own home-field advantage for whatever tasks you care about.
13. Find the right state. Figure out how to prime yourself for the work you want to do.
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14. Counterbalance your strength. If striving or pushing is your skill, then you need to learn to be content. Our strengths often become our downfalls. Prepare for that.
5.Learn how to turn it off. Don’t carry your work home. Don’t go nuts during the family monopoly game because you think you are competitive.
16.Diversify your sources of meaning. If one thing is the only thing, you are setting yourself up to be fragile, to overreact to a loss
5.Learn how to turn it off. Don’t carry your work home. Don’t go nuts during the family monopoly game because you think you are competitive.
16.Diversify your sources of meaning. If one thing is the only thing, you are setting yourself up to be fragile, to overreact to a loss
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17. Run your race. The comparison game never ends well. Focus on executing your process
18.Sometimes quitting is the tough (& right) decision. Self-awareness & quieting your ego allows you to know when to quit.
19. Create Space, Stay in the moment, Focus on one thing at a time
18.Sometimes quitting is the tough (& right) decision. Self-awareness & quieting your ego allows you to know when to quit.
19. Create Space, Stay in the moment, Focus on one thing at a time
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20. When it gets tough, don’t fight, relax.
21. "Win or nothing" is a projection insecurity. Life is about being secure in giving your all. Regardless of where that puts you. Those who understand what it takes get that. Those who are insecure worry about proving their worth.
22. Consistency over intensity. It's about stacking week after week of solid work
21. "Win or nothing" is a projection insecurity. Life is about being secure in giving your all. Regardless of where that puts you. Those who understand what it takes get that. Those who are insecure worry about proving their worth.
22. Consistency over intensity. It's about stacking week after week of solid work
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23.Under preparation is a coping strategy for stress. It allows you to protect your ego because you didn't 'try.' Actually putting forth effort, requires being okay confronting your limits
24. Failure is inevitable. It’s going to hurt. But the best transition to see it as informational, instead of self-defining.
25. Practice gratitude. Take the time to appreciate the good things in your life, no matter how small they may seem.
26. Bet on yourself
24. Failure is inevitable. It’s going to hurt. But the best transition to see it as informational, instead of self-defining.
25. Practice gratitude. Take the time to appreciate the good things in your life, no matter how small they may seem.
26. Bet on yourself
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The common thread here is simple.
We often complicate performance with ego and insecurity.
The goal isn't to add more tricks or hacks.
It's to strip away the noise.
Get out of your own way and let the work speak.
We often complicate performance with ego and insecurity.
The goal isn't to add more tricks or hacks.
It's to strip away the noise.
Get out of your own way and let the work speak.