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The impact of being raised by a narcissistic father:
Being raised by a narcissist father means your father hasn’t fully matured emotionally. His main focus is: his own needs, the way he’s perceived by others, and being ‘respected‘ by his family. He tends to confuse respect with obedience.
It’s important to understand the narcissistic father is lacking: emotional regulation skills, conflict resolution skills, a sense of self, and the ability to attune to the emotions or perspectives of others.
Because of these emotional limits, he tends to easily become overstimulated. The overstimulation can manifest as: yelling/shaming, or sulking/giving the silent treatment. For those around him, this means walking on eggshells.
Growing up with a narcissistic father meant hearing: - “nothing is ever good enough” - “after all I’ve done for you!” - “you’re difficult like your mother” - “everyone here is against me” - “you’re ungrateful” - “guess I’m just a horrible father”
He doesn’t see his children as individuals, they’re an extension of him. This creates a dynamic where he’s highly critical, demands perfection, and gives “tough love.” He tries to live through his child’s achievements to cover his own shame and inadequacy.
Children of narcissistic fathers learn early that he creates the entire mood of the home. This creates hypervigilance, or a chronic focus on other people’s changes in mood, tone, or behavior. This is the start of their people pleasing pattern.
As adults, they carry an ‘invisible’ father wound. The father wound manifests as: - low self worth - feelings of being a burden - a core belief they must perform for love - a pattern of dysfunctional relationships - a belief we can (and should) “fix” others
- unhealthy anger (completely repressed, or short fused) - people pleasing - subconsciously seeking difficult or immature partners - chronic depression or anxiety - fear of being perceived
It’s important to know your father’s behavior and the way he treated you is a reflection of his internal world. Please bookmark and share to anyone affected.
If you’re ready to heal my private community @selfhealerscirc opens Jan 2nd. We have experts on narcissism, trauma healing, and so much more! Spaces do sell out. Learn more or get on the waitlist here; <a target="_blank" href="http://selfhealerscircle.com" color="blue">selfhealerscircle.com</a>