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today's thought is lowly palace servant wwx flirting with imperial guard lwj one too many times and then suddenly finding himself being granted marriage to lwj by emperor nmj himself.
lxc is the highest-ranked and most beloved consort in nmj's inner palace. lwj complained about wwx to lxc, who then giggled to nmj about it over tea, who—ever willing to please lxc and thinking that it's about time lwj marries—immediately grants lwj and wwx marriage.
so, from wwx's pov, he was just going about his life as a servant; work is hard, but fulfilling. he hears gossip about the most eligible bachelors with the highest connections, and gets curious about lwj. ah, but lwj is notorious for being cold, stand-offish, and unsmiling.
he is the highest-ranked bachelor, but also impossible to win over. countless others have tried and failed. lwj has sometimes physically thrown out servants for being too pushy and disruptive. so, obviously, what would be the harm in teasing him a bit?
he's so handsome, and completely out of reach. wwx just wants to be lwj's friend, but that's a bit unrealistic, so he settles for just being given a glance—even an annoyed one. anything to make lwj think about him for a little while longer.
it's fun. harmless. at one point, after being tricked into looking at erotic art, lwj even snapped, "WEI YING," and that was super fun. it's fun for wwx to call his name and give him silly little gifts and chat with him, even though lwj almost never chats back.
so wwx is utterly FLOORED when a eunuch comes by the garden he works in, asks for him, then commands him to kneel to receive an imperial proclamation, and announces that emperor nmj has just granted marriage for both him and imperial guard lwj.
meanwhile, lwj is having a meltdown to rival all meltdowns—which means he's kneeling outside lxc's residence, stubbornly refusing to leave until lxc promises to help convince the emperor to change his mind about granting the marriage.
lxc is quite certain that lwj secretly harbors feelings for the servant underneath all that complaining—and he's sure that marriage would help lwj open up and relax a bit more. but he knows how lwj feels about unwilling marriages, so he agrees.
lxc: I'd like to discuss wangji's nuptials nmj: speak lxc: he wishes for u to reconsider the circumstances of the marriage nmj: … ah, i know what you mean lxc: oh thank— nmj: i will make wwx his official spouse! no concubines for our lovesick lil bro lxc: oh, that's not—
anyhow, lxc somehow makes it worse; previously, nmj was going to grant wwx to lwj as a concubine, since wwx's status is low. but nmj then mistakingly thinks that lwj is upset about that, and consequently raises wwx's status to lwj's official spouse.
lwj is so mad that he doesn't speak to lxc for a solid week 😭
meanwhile wwx is going over every single interaction he has ever had with lwj in an attempt to understand if, maybe, he had besmirched lwj's virtue or something?? because he can't think of a single reason why the emperor would be marrying the two of them together 😭😭
wwx quickly becomes the subject of much envy and admiration. nobody knows how he did it. he's swarmed with a wide range of compliments, demands on his method, and occasionally threats from extra jealous individuals (su she).
su she: how did you do it?? how did you get lwj to look at you?? did you blackmail him?? wwx: i might have?? I don't know?? 😭😭😭
so. they marry. it's a very awkward wedding. wwx doesn't have family to give him away, and he is such a low-ranked servant that he doesn't have a master who personally knows him well enough to do so. lxc graciously steps in, to wwx's mortification.
wwx wears robes way fancier than anything he has ever even TOUCHED so he moves like a stick. lwj barely even looks at him. they're given blessings and go through the rites and bows and then suddenly they're left alone.
they're both very uncomfortable. lwj hints that he has an early shift tomorrow and wwx is like 'YES, let's go sleep alright goodnight' and shucks off his wedding robes and swan dives under the covers and pretend to fall asleep immmediatly. so that's their wedding night.
the next day, lwj goes back to being and guard and wwx… is suddenly a house-husband. he has no idea what he should be doing. their home was given to them by emperor nmj as a wedding gift along with the servants to care for it. there's nothing for wwx to do.
so wwx goes back to his job working in the gardens 😭😭 he gets stared at and whispered about. even his old supervisor who previously had no qualms about scolding and yelling at him looks distinctly uncomfortable. within a few hours, lwj shows up.