@cerbykerby: today's thought is lowly palac...

today's thought is lowly palace servant wwx flirting with imperial guard lwj one too many times and then suddenly finding himself being granted marriage to lwj by emperor nmj himself.

lxc is the highest-ranked and most beloved consort in nmj's inner palace. lwj complained about wwx to lxc, who then giggled to nmj about it over tea, who—ever willing to please lxc and thinking that it's about time lwj marries—immediately grants lwj and wwx marriage.

so, from wwx's pov, he was just going about his life as a servant; work is hard, but fulfilling. he hears gossip about the most eligible bachelors with the highest connections, and gets curious about lwj.

ah, but lwj is notorious for being cold, stand-offish, and unsmiling.

he is the highest-ranked bachelor, but also impossible to win over. countless others have tried and failed. lwj has sometimes physically thrown out servants for being too pushy and disruptive.

so, obviously, what would be the harm in teasing him a bit?

he's so handsome, and completely out of reach. wwx just wants to be lwj's friend, but that's a bit unrealistic, so he settles for just being given a glance—even an annoyed one. anything to make lwj think about him for a little while longer.

it's fun. harmless. at one point, after being tricked into looking at erotic art, lwj even snapped, "WEI YING," and that was super fun. it's fun for wwx to call his name and give him silly little gifts and chat with him, even though lwj almost never chats back.

so wwx is utterly FLOORED when a eunuch comes by the garden he works in, asks for him, then commands him to kneel to receive an imperial proclamation, and announces that emperor nmj has just granted marriage for both him and imperial guard lwj.

meanwhile, lwj is having a meltdown to rival all meltdowns—which means he's kneeling outside lxc's residence, stubbornly refusing to leave until lxc promises to help convince the emperor to change his mind about granting the marriage.

lxc is quite certain that lwj secretly harbors feelings for the servant underneath all that complaining—and he's sure that marriage would help lwj open up and relax a bit more. but he knows how lwj feels about unwilling marriages, so he agrees.

lxc: I'd like to discuss wangji's nuptials

nmj: speak

lxc: he wishes for u to reconsider the circumstances of the marriage

nmj: … ah, i know what you mean

lxc: oh thank—

nmj: i will make wwx his official spouse! no concubines for our lovesick lil bro

lxc: oh, that's not—

anyhow, lxc somehow makes it worse; previously, nmj was going to grant wwx to lwj as a concubine, since wwx's status is low. but nmj then mistakingly thinks that lwj is upset about that, and consequently raises wwx's status to lwj's official spouse.

lwj is so mad that he doesn't speak to lxc for a solid week 😭

meanwhile wwx is going over every single interaction he has ever had with lwj in an attempt to understand if, maybe, he had besmirched lwj's virtue or something?? because he can't think of a single reason why the emperor would be marrying the two of them together 😭😭

wwx quickly becomes the subject of much envy and admiration. nobody knows how he did it. he's swarmed with a wide range of compliments, demands on his method, and occasionally threats from extra jealous individuals (su she).

su she: how did you do it?? how did you get lwj to look at you?? did you blackmail him??

wwx: i might have?? I don't know?? 😭😭😭

so.

they marry.

it's a very awkward wedding. wwx doesn't have family to give him away, and he is such a low-ranked servant that he doesn't have a master who personally knows him well enough to do so.

lxc graciously steps in, to wwx's mortification.

wwx wears robes way fancier than anything he has ever even TOUCHED so he moves like a stick.

lwj barely even looks at him. they're given blessings and go through the rites and bows and then suddenly they're left alone.

they're both very uncomfortable.

lwj hints that he has an early shift tomorrow and wwx is like 'YES, let's go sleep alright goodnight' and shucks off his wedding robes and swan dives under the covers and pretend to fall asleep immmediatly.

so that's their wedding night.

the next day, lwj goes back to being and guard and wwx… is suddenly a house-husband.

he has no idea what he should be doing. their home was given to them by emperor nmj as a wedding gift along with the servants to care for it. there's nothing for wwx to do.

so wwx goes back to his job working in the gardens 😭😭

he gets stared at and whispered about. even his old supervisor who previously had no qualms about scolding and yelling at him looks distinctly uncomfortable.

within a few hours, lwj shows up.

another servant went to notify him that his new spouse is knee-deep in mud and not minding their home. wwx shouldn't be at his old job anymore. he's now married to an imperial guard; he doesn't *need* to work. it makes lwj look like he's not treating wwx right.

lwj is Not happy. emperor nmj has a meeting with wrh. lwj wanted to be on guard duty, not escorting his new spouse home because wwx couldn't resist the urge to dig in dirt.

meanwhile wwx is in despair. how is he so bad at being married 🥹🥹

incident after incident happen. wwx catches the servants secretly stealing from the jingshi and fire all but the few most trusted ones. but with so few servants, wwx has to work on chores alongside them.

which he's fine with! it gives him something to do!

except, he always somehow manages to get something wrong. he accidentally knocks some books off of lwj's bookshelf and puts them back wrong. he misplaces lwj's whetstone. he treks mud back into the house. he burns lwj's dinner.

to lwj, it's proof that wwx's mind has been in a turmoil since getting married. clearly this marriage was a mistake. look at how unhappy wwx is, that he keeps messing up and berating himself.

to wwx, it's utterly stress-inducing. why can't he be a good spouse 🥹🥹

"I'm so sorry," wwx says one evening after inadvertently setting lwj's mouth on fire after accidentally switching their bowls of food. "I know you didn't want any of this, and I'm sorry you have to deal with me, but I promise I'll try to be a good spouse."

does lwj go back to his separate bedroom and maybe fight back a few tears?

yes.

weeks go by, and wwx eventually sort of resigns himself to the situation. obviously the emperor isn't going to rescind the marriage, so he and lwj are stuck together. it's not a bad life. he lives in a nice house and has food and clothes.

not everybody can have a happy, loving marriage like his parents had. he knows that. he's already very fortunate to be so well provided for. he only sees lwj maybe three or four times every week or so, and it's never for longer than an hour each time. they can avoid each other.

so long as wwx helps maintain the house and doesn't make a fool out of lwj, surely this is good enough? at the very least, he shouldn't make lwj's life harder.

so he goes about his days, working in the jingshi garden, going with the servants to the market, doing laundry, etc.

sometimes he runs into lwj. when he does, he just bows, greets lwj, asks how his day is, gives lwj a quick summary of his own day, and goes about on his way.

lwj's gaze always lingers after him. his servants try to hint for him to follow wwx, but he never listens.