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I believe you can hear someone's childhood in the way they apologize. Some people over-apologize. They'll say sorry 10 times for one mistake. That's the sign of a childhood where a single accident could turn into a huge outburst. (Thread)
Others apologize before they've done anything wrong. "Sorry to bother you." They were forced to apologize as kids and learned to tie it to blame. Taught early to feel guilty for taking up space.
And then there are people who can't apologize at all. Or they go passive-aggressive: "Sorry you feel that way." That usually comes from a household where silence meant punishment.
This is the way most of us were taught to apologize: "I'm sorry, it was my fault." We treat it like a verdict on who's right and who's wrong.
But there's a way to apologize that has nothing to do with blame or rightness. It's about your own identity: "I'm sorry, that's not how I want to be."
So the next time you apologize, try practicing it as the art of owning who you want to be.
Most of what runs your apologies was set before you had words for it. Look up our vide on YouTube "Upright Apology" to go even deeper. Welcome to my account, @FU_joehudson