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No one talks about the grief that comes with watching your parents age. And the guilt about time you missed. It's one of the hardest parts of life:
Growing up, you see your parents as invincible. They're young and you don't even think about a time when they'll be more fragile and less capable.
Then, it's like you blink, and they're visibly older. Their hands look different, they're walking slower, and they're repeating things or forgetting things. The illusion that they'll always be there is shattered.
Each time you see them, you notice it more and more. Then comes guilt from the time you missed. You realize that while you were building your own life, you missed parts of theirs.
No one prepares us for the reality that our parents might need help. They might lose parts of their independence. And there's a feeling of helplessness that comes up in us because we cannot control time.
This can be even harder if your parents haven't really taken care of themselves. Or if they've given up. You know they aren't willing to change, but you're also desperate that they might.
No one prepares you for the role reversal. Where one day you'll have to make decisions around their health, their living situation, and their care.
No one prepares you for the inner shame and guilt. That as you're living your own life, you're missing precious time of theirs.
It's one of the hardest experiences we go through. It comes on quickly and gives us an opportunity to forgive, to accept, and to make peace with one of the most painful experiences we cannot control.
Do you agree? The comments is a space to share your experiences with this...