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We don't fail because we don't want it enough. We fail because we are terrified of finding our limits. Fear of not being good enough or measuring up. We are terrified of the potential for failure.
In running, the fear is visible. You see the moment a runner eases off the gas. They worry they won't last the distance, so they settle. They trade the possibility of greatness for the security of finishing. It's a protective mechanism in action.
We see it in the "JV kick." A runner holds back in the middle miles to stay comfortable. Then unleash a furious sprint at the end when they see the finish line. They saved energy to avoid the risk of blowing up...and never coming close to their potential. We all do some version of the JV kick
This dynamic applies everywhere, from business to art. We hold back just enough to ensure we survive the attempt. We do enough to avoid embarrassment but not enough to soar. We hedge our bets to protect our egos. We play not to lose.
The modern world makes this fear infinitely worse. We are constantly competing in public view. We worry about the race result on Strava. We obsess over the book ranking on Amazon. We worry about our likes showing on Instagram Every act feels like a public trial, which instills deep paralysis.
Great performers find a way to turn down the volume on this fear. They don't eliminate it. They figure out ways to act in spite of it. They take the risk to see what they are truly capable of. It's about exploring our limits...even if we never truly get to them.
As coaches and leaders, we have a responsibility here. We must create an environment where falling short is an option. We have to give people permission to take risks and fail. Psychological safety is the prerequisite for real breakthroughs. It's what allows us to go for it.
When I coached college athletes, we had a "Golden Brick" award. It didn't go to the winner; it went to the runner who fell apart, or hit bricks. But you only got it if you absolutely went for it first. You had to have the courage to go for it.
The world tells you to play it safe and just get by. Ignore that signal. Great performance comes from taking smart risks. You have to be willing to confront your limits. And occasionally, you need to slam right into them.
90% of coaching is helping people get out of their own way. Ego, fear of failure, status anxiety, external validation = Get in our way. I've spent 20 years working with elite performers on how to get the most out of ourselves. Here are the key lessons: