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The angry daughter is treated like the problem in the family. They're called dramatic and difficult. In reality, they're the truth teller:
The angry daughter is often the scapegoat of the family. She feels and understands the family dysfunction. She's not willing to live in a lie. She's had enough.
She'll be a challenge to dysfunctional family members who don't want to face what's actually happening. They'll blame her for acknowledging the truth because it shatters the illusions they have.
The hardest part of being the angry daughter is having your experiences denied over and over again. Instead of "I can see why you feel this way" it's "why can't you be happy" or "what happened to you"
If she asks questions, or talk about the past she's just being difficult. Or she's "holding a grudge." She might be compared to siblings who don't have the awareness or courage to speak the truth.
The truth-teller in any family usually feels alone and isolated. The truth is, they're most likely to break the cycle. But they also feel like they're difficult to love.
It's not until they break free from their dysfunctional family system, that they realize a profound reality: they're not actually this angry person.
They can love, be loved, enjoy life, and relax. When they're not in survival mode. When they're able to freely express themselves and acknowledge reality instead of staying within delusion for the comfort of others.
It's almost like they're living two lives. One with their chosen family (friends, partners) and another with their family who sees them as a source of conflict.
In healthy families, there is no scapegoat. Siblings aren't compared. No one is blamed for having emotions and for wanting to talk about what happened. Ignoring issues is what actually creates the "angry daughter."
Her softness comes back when she's around safe people who talk through issues, who apologize, and who don't make her feel crazy for experiencing natural human emotions.
If you are the angry daughter, join my private community SelfHealers Circle. It's a place away from social media to connect and learn for only $26/month. Enrollment opens Jan 2nd. Join the waitlist here: <a target="_blank" href="https://theholisticpsychologist.com/selfhealers-circle-app/" color="blue">theholisticpsychologist.com/selfhealers-ci…</a>