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The best coaches and leaders don’t create followers. They create people who can eventually outgrow them. Ego wants dependence. It feels good to be needed. But true leadership means teaching others to think, adapt, and perform when you’re no longer there.
The ego coach wants control. He designs every rep, approves every move, dictates every decision. It works...until life throws a curveball and the athlete has no idea what to do. By solving every problem for them, you’ve made them fragile.
Dependency feels safe. For the athlete, it’s comforting to outsource judgment. For the coach, it’s validation: they need me. But growth doesn’t come from safety. It comes from struggle, uncertainty, and learning to navigate on your own.
Percy Cerutty, the legendary Australian coach, had it right: “An athlete must be developed to be entirely self-reliant—able to know instinctively and understand his nature, personality, and requirements in training.” His goal wasn’t to keep athletes forever. It was to make them independent thinkers who could thrive without him.
Think of the workplace version: the manager who won’t let anyone make a decision without sign-off. The team that can’t move forward until the boss gives a thumbs-up. That’s bottlenecking, not leadership. And it trains people to wait instead of act.
Great coaching is about handing off responsibility bit by bit. First, you provide structure and guardrails. Then, you let them experiment. Eventually, you step back, because you’ve built the confidence and skill for them to step forward.
Ego leaders build dependence. Great leaders work towards greater independence. The goal isn’t to have them thank you forever. It’s to help them grow so fully that they no longer have to.