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Emotionally immature people (EIP) struggle most with: listening. They can interrupt, talk over, or completely shut down to conversation. Here's Why:
Emotionally immature people do not have a fully formed sense of self. Their childhoods had repeated events of complex trauma, leaving them to become quickly dyregulated. They also never learned how to cope with their own emotions.
This creates a situation where they're: - highly sensitive and perceive most things as criticism - highly defensive - deflective ("sorry you feel that way") - unable to see a perspective outside of their own - highly avoidant
To have trust in any relationship, there needs to be mutual sharing of ideas, thoughts, and emotions. Each person needs to be free to express, even if they disagree. This takes listening, which is possible only when we're emotionally mature.
Relationships with emotionally immature people can feel depleting and exhausting because our feelings are never fully addressed. And our perspective continues to be denied.
Here's How You Can Respond: 1. Keep conversations short and to the point: don't get caught in a cycle of trying to force or get someone to see your perspective. It's ok if someone doesn't see your perspective, work on validating your own.
2. Acknowledge what they're saying: ex: "I understand how you're feeling." This is a great way to validate what they're saying even if you do not agree. It also deactivates the unnecessary hashing out of details.
3. Don't react to a silent treatment: if they shut down or ignore you, allow them. The silent treatment is a method of control, and not engaging sends a clear message that you'll only communicate to a person who is willing.
Bookmark these reminders for dealing with EIP. Have you dealt with this? If you'd like to learn more on emotional immaturity join the way list for my global healing community: @selfhealerscirc.