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“Also, I don't know,” Taehyung waves his hands in wild gestures, “none of the versions in my head comes off very cool to be honest!” Jungkook stares at the tip of the cigarette, “I told him I won't show up at the shop.” Taehyung frowns, “what shop? Where he kills me? A shop?”
Jungkook lets out a deep breath, looking at Taehyung pointedly. Taehyung squints at him, still confused. Then it clicks and Taehyung's eyes widen, Jungkook looks away from him. “Oh,” Taehyung chokes again, patting his chest, “yeah, three cigarettes were too much, I guess.”
“Oh, I need to sit down for this,” Taehyung plops down on the floor, staring at the dark horizon through the glass of the railing, “maybe, have some water-” “You need a kick to kickstart your brain?” Jungkook curses, glaring down at him, “seriously, stop freaking out!”
“Hey, I am not freaking out!” Taehyung glares up at him, “I am so damn chill, you can feel the ice starting to build all around me!” Jungkook stares at him. Taehyung stares back. Jungkook looks away. Taehyung looks away, too. There is silence then. Both of them reeling.
“Why?” Taehyung wonders. Jungkook puts the cigarette out in the ashtray and sits down beside Taehyung. Taehyung doesn't dare look at him, Jungkook doesn't look at him, either. “I wasn't being fair to him,” Jungkook murmurs. Taehyung's lips twist, “yeah, god forbid, he hurts.”
Jungkook breathes out, looking at him finally, “are you seriously shadowboxing with him right now?” Taehyung shrugs, “no. I know, I won't win. Literally or metaphorically. Whatever.” Jungkook's lips twitch, “he is very clumsy. You might land a few punches, you know?”
Taehyung snorts, “don't want to. Anyway,” he looks down at his hands, “why?” Jungkook looks away again, sorting through his thoughts, “I told you why. I wasn't being fair to him. I don't want to keep him waiting like that when I know I won't,” Jungkook can't finish the sentence.
Taehyung nervously plays with the hem of his T-shirt. His brows furrowed, as if thinking about what Jungkook just said. Jungkook is thinking, too. They both are lost in their worlds. “Say something,” Jungkook murmurs. Taehyung leans back against the wall, “what do I say?”
“Anything,” Jungkook whispers, “something. I don't know,” he feels the cool breeze on his face, “I don't know.” Taehyung shakes his head, closing his eyes, “this has nothing to do with me, Jungkook,” his voice trails off, “I told you. Even if you tell me now, you love me...”
His eyes find Jungkook, who is already looking at him. Taehyung gives Jungkook a shake of his head, a melancholic smile. “I won't believe it, really,” he looks down at his hands, “it feels like you had second thoughts about Namjoon and I just,” he swallows, “became an excuse.”
“That's why I said, I didn't want to hurt him,” Jungkook nods, pulls his knees up to hug them closer to his chest, “I never said, my feelings jumped from one person to another.” Taehyung nods, “yeah. Makes sense.” Jungkook rests his chin on his knees, “I feel light, somewhat.”
“I was telling myself over and over again that this is what I wanted,” Jungkook shrugs, “since I knew what love was. I romanticized the idea of love so much that I ignored reality. I don't know. I needed to get this out of me,” he looks at Taehyung, “you pushed me to do it.”
“I don't know,” Jungkook digs his thumb on his arm, frowning, “it will take me ages to even believe I can love again, you know?” he shakes his head, “how would I know if what I am feeling is love or just... the same I felt for Namjoon hyung? I need time for myself.”
Jungkook holds his breath, avoiding the eyes he knows are on him now, “you wanted clear boundaries, hyung,” he lets out a wavering breath, “would you stay if I maintain the boundary between us?” Taehyung's voice is gentle like the cool breeze of midnight, “yeah. I will stay.”
Jungkook looks at the elder. Taehyung is looking back at him. They share a small smile. Taehyung holds out his hand, palm up and open. Waiting. Jungkook places his hand on top of his, watches Taehyung curl his fingers around his. He squeezes Jungkook's hand with reassurance.
The doorbell rings constantly. Jungkook gets out of the bed with a loud curse and goes to the door to open it. Namjoon stands there. Prim and proper. In his crisp suit. Jungkook is wide awake, “yes, hyung?” Namjoon smiles at him, “can I come in?” Jungkook nods, “of course!”
“Where the hell are you going at-” Jungkook looks at the clock on his wall, “six in the morning?” Namjoon chuckles, taking a seat on the couch, “do you remember what day it is?” Jungkook scratches the back of his head until it hits him, and he is blinking at the elder.
Namjoon nods, “it's the day we were supposed to meet at that shop,” he pulls out the pouch where their rings are, “there's something I have to clear out. With you. Sit.” Jungkook sits, his eyes on the pouch in Namjoon's grasp. Namjoon places it on the tea-table with a sigh.
Namjoon rubs his hands on his thighs, a nervous tick Jungkook knows well enough. Namjoon looks at the pouch and then looks up at Jungkook. “If you showed up there today,” he says, “I won't.” Jungkook is not sure what to say to that. His expression probably shows his dilemma.