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This Reddit post hit me hard.
A few of the responses: “The graveyard is full of ‘irreplaceable’ and ‘important’ people.” “I don’t remember what I was working on, I can’t tell you why it was important. But I can tell you how my not being there made my kids feel.” Really makes you think about tradeoffs.
I am of two minds on this topic: 1. Being present and spending time with your children is the most important thing. 2. Having your children see you work hard on things you care about is a principle they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. My goal is to balance 1 and 2.
The importance and value of the second point gets lost in the narrative around work-life balance. Much of my discipline came from seeing my dad work hard on things that lit him up. He would come home for dinner, play catch with me outside, then work late if that’s what it took.
“20 years from now, the only people who will remember that you worked late are your kids” has both a positive and a negative connotation… Negative: They’ll remember you missing time with them. Positive: They’ll remember your discipline, work ethic, and energy for growth.
“Résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. Eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral.” - David Brooks Goal: Find YOUR balance. If you found value in this, follow me @SahilBloom for more and RT the original tweet to share it with others. <a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/SahilBloom/status/1658806354369294339" color="blue">x.com/SahilBloom/sta…</a>
Too many people play games by default, rather than by design. We should constantly ask ourselves whether the prize for winning the game we’re playing is actually something we want to win.
Fact: There’s a devastatingly short window of time during which you are your child’s entire world. After it, they have friends/partners that fill that role. I refuse to miss those precious years. We have to cherish them.
Some of the best parenting advice I received: Make a list of all of the principles and values that you want your child to live by, then go out and actually embody them yourself.
In honor of this post, here’s our 4pm Wednesday activity. I can send those emails after he goes to sleep. These are definitely the moments we’ll remember in the end.
This thread was sparked by a newsletter I was writing on the topic of rejecting the default setting and defining your version of balance. You can join the nearly 400,000 others who will receive it here! <a target="_blank" href="https://www.sahilbloom.com/newsletter" color="blue">sahilbloom.com/newsletter</a>