Most of your problems in life come from lack of communication skills.
How to say what you mean and get what you want:
Getting what you want starts with directly asking for what you want. With better communication skills, you'll be less frustrated with and more connected to everyone around you.
Many people develop communication styles that are either avoidant (vague, unclear) or harsh (critical, abrasive.) With direct and clear communication you can improve every area of your life.
HOW TO HAVE BETTER COMMUNICATION SKILLS
1. Ask: What outcome am I looking for? stop hinting. Indirect communication creates resentment. Be clear with your outcome when you communicate.
1. Ask: What outcome am I looking for? stop hinting. Indirect communication creates resentment. Be clear with your outcome when you communicate.
Unclear communication sounds like:
- "Can you help out more?"
- "I feel like we're growing apart"
- "You're being rude"
- "Can you help out more?"
- "I feel like we're growing apart"
- "You're being rude"
Clear communication sounds like:
"I need more help, can you do the dishes & take out the trash?"
"I'd like to spend more time together, could we plan one day a week for date night?"
"Jokes about my body feel hurtful, can you stop doing that?"
"I need more help, can you do the dishes & take out the trash?"
"I'd like to spend more time together, could we plan one day a week for date night?"
"Jokes about my body feel hurtful, can you stop doing that?"
In all of these examples there's a desired outcome and a follow up question. You're clear on what you're looking for, and you let the other person tell you if they're willing to do something.
Nothing breaks down trust more between two people than expecting someone to read your mind or "just know" what you want. Trust is built when we make our expectations crystal clear.
2. Allow discomfort: when you're direct, you might have an urge to over-explain, apologize, or build a case. Say less. Sit in the discomfort of not filling the conversation. People respect a person who is clear.
3. Listen: an incredible amount of information is given when we are silent and let people speak. Don't interrupt. Fully listen and if you're unsure do not assume.
Not assuming sounds like:
- "So are you saying that I offended you because I did x?"
- "Do you feel like we're taking things too quickly?"
- "How should that project have been handled?"
- "Do you want me to just listen or offer solutions?"
- "So are you saying that I offended you because I did x?"
- "Do you feel like we're taking things too quickly?"
- "How should that project have been handled?"
- "Do you want me to just listen or offer solutions?"
4. Stay repair minded: many people have conversations to "win." Instead focus on the future: "what can I do to make this better?" "How can we move forward from this?" "what can we do to make sure this doesn't happen again?"
Better communication will make you a more trustworthy, attractive, and magnetic person.
Bookmark and practice.
Bookmark and practice.
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