Your nervous system will tell you when you've met your person.
It won't feel like fireworks.
This is what love is to your nervous system:
Our nervous system knows that love is consistency and predictability. It's our partner walking into a room and our whole body feels safe.
When we're with someone does what they say they'll do, our heartbeat slows. Their voice slow our breathing patterns. Their touch relaxes us on a cellular level. Our immune system is strengthened.
In our dark and messy moments, they're not trying to change us, or talk us out of our feelings. They're not trying to push us to be someone we're not...
They're listening. They're sitting in silence. They're reminding us as many times as it takes: "I'm not going anywhere. I choose to be here, and my actions show that."
They're not running. They're not talking about leaving when it gets hard. They're apologizing and every time there's repair, our nervous system is co-regulated.
Love becomes safety. It becomes predictable. It's not a roller coaster of ups and down. It's not fight or flight disguised as "passion."
Love to the nervous system is soft. It's not anxious or avoidant. It's choice after choice to show up when it's easier to run. It's a body that is relaxed and at ease when that person walks through the door.
Love to the nervous system is two emotionally mature people doing the best they can do accept each other as they are. To forgive and forgive and start each day with: "How can I be good to me, so I can be good to you?"
Do you agree?
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