I started Tahajjud. I started saying Astaghfirullah 1000 times a day. I started reciting Surah Al-Baqarah.
What happened next... left me speechless."
I wasn't expecting a miracle.
I was just tired.
Tired of the heavy chest. The unanswered du'as. The constant feeling that maybe... Allah was upset with me.
I read about how Tahajjud is the prayer of the broken-hearted.
I saw a post that said:
"If things feel stuck, try Baqarah. Try istighfar." And something in me whispered, "You have nothing to lose."
So l began.
I was just tired.
Tired of the heavy chest. The unanswered du'as. The constant feeling that maybe... Allah was upset with me.
I read about how Tahajjud is the prayer of the broken-hearted.
I saw a post that said:
"If things feel stuck, try Baqarah. Try istighfar." And something in me whispered, "You have nothing to lose."
So l began.
The first night I prayed Tahajjud, my heart was racing.
I didn't even know what to say.
I just cried. Whispered my d'as. Sat in sujood for what felt like forever.
And then, every day -
1000x: Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.
Sometimes with tears.
Sometimes numb.
But I said it anyway.
I opened Surah Al-Baqarah.
Some days I only managed 10 ayahs.
Some days I read pages.
But I held on - because l'd heard this Surah changes lives.
I didn't even know what to say.
I just cried. Whispered my d'as. Sat in sujood for what felt like forever.
And then, every day -
1000x: Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.
Sometimes with tears.
Sometimes numb.
But I said it anyway.
I opened Surah Al-Baqarah.
Some days I only managed 10 ayahs.
Some days I read pages.
But I held on - because l'd heard this Surah changes lives.
And slowly... something began to shift.
Not in the world around me.
But in me. My chest felt lighter.
A strange peace settled over me.
The things I used to cry about... didn't grip me the same way anymore.
Du'as I made months ago started coming true.
Not all of them - but enough to make me stop and say: Ya Allah... You really heard me?
People came back with apologies I never expected.
Doors opened that I had stopped knocking on.
I started recognizing myself again - the version of me that believed, that hoped, that felt close to Allah.
Not in the world around me.
But in me. My chest felt lighter.
A strange peace settled over me.
The things I used to cry about... didn't grip me the same way anymore.
Du'as I made months ago started coming true.
Not all of them - but enough to make me stop and say: Ya Allah... You really heard me?
People came back with apologies I never expected.
Doors opened that I had stopped knocking on.
I started recognizing myself again - the version of me that believed, that hoped, that felt close to Allah.
And that's when I knew:
It wasn't just the Tahajjud.
It wasn't just the Baqarah.
It wasn't just the istighfar.
It was the turning back.
The softness in my voice when I said Ya Rabb.
The moment I stopped chasing the dunya for healing, and ran back to the One who controls it all.
It wasn't just the Tahajjud.
It wasn't just the Baqarah.
It wasn't just the istighfar.
It was the turning back.
The softness in my voice when I said Ya Rabb.
The moment I stopped chasing the dunya for healing, and ran back to the One who controls it all.
If you're reading this and you feel far...
Try it.
Even if your voice shakes. Even if you miss some days. Even if you feel unworthy.
Just begin.
Because when Allah opens a door for you - It won't just change your situation. It'll change you.
And it might leave you speechless, too.
Try it.
Even if your voice shakes. Even if you miss some days. Even if you feel unworthy.
Just begin.
Because when Allah opens a door for you - It won't just change your situation. It'll change you.
And it might leave you speechless, too.
© AiishaDahir
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