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Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
today's thought is omega wwx defying the odds and becoming a imperial physician—a position usually reserved for betas and alphas.

so imagine his stress when he's tasked with caring for emperor lwj's concubines and maximizing the chances of an heir.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
wwx is fully aware that he's given the task because others want to see him fail. well, he's not going to! yes, fertility is a tricky issue, but so long as there's a chance, anything is possible.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
he does so many tests and brews so many new medicines—all with little effect. the concubines are in good health (albeit a bit frantic with the race to conceive first), so nothing really should be hindering the process.

wwx suspects something is up with the emperor.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
but the moment he even *hints* that mayhaps the problem lies with the emperor, wwx gets scolded to high heaven. how dare he insinuate that the emperor has issues! doesn't he realize that he could be executed for even considering it?
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
it also doesn't help that lwj has his own small circle of personal physicians who, for both safety and status reasons, will Not let anyone close to the emperor.

wwx is at his wit's end. he has put these poor concubines on every kind of bitter fertility medicine, with no results.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
the issue Must lie with the emperor. wwx needs to personally check on him. but wwx can't get close to him.

soooo obviously the solution is to secretly switch spots with a concubine in the carriage that brings the emperor's choice of nightly companion to his palace.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
obviously lwj doesn't appreciate finding a complete stranger in his bed. he reaches to draw bichen, but not before wwx is like, "Helloooo Your Majesty, don't mind me, just gonna do some tests…" and shoves a wooden stick in his mouth to check his health 😭😭
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
lwj's fighting for his life against this stranger and wwx just keeps going, "Stop moving, stop moviiiiiing shhhh I'm a doctor, just gotta check one more thing…" and subjects lwj to an entire litany of physical checkups.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
by the time lwj kicks wwx out, wwx only has more questions. from whatever tests he managed to squeeze out of lwj, lwj seems fine. if anything, he seems healthier than most. why would he have trouble putting heirs in his concubines?

more tests are needed—and, ideally, samples.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
wwx has a bit of an unconventional (and sketchy, tbh) background. he doesn't rely only on pulse-reading for health diagnosis. he has an unusually thorough knowledge of anatomy (from his time in yiling after being kicked out by madam yu *cough*) and built a microscope for himself.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
usually, someone of his background (and an omega, no less) has no chance of becoming a recognized physician—much less an imperial physician. but wwx is nothing if not determined, and his patients (no matter how unwilling they originally are) cannot deny his efficacy.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
obviously the emperor ends up asking around on who the intruder is. the other imperial physicians are eager to rat wwx out in hopes that lwj will severely punish him for trespassing.

instead, lwj asks wwx what he does and what it is that he wants.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
wwx explains that he's in charge of ensuring the birth of an heir. lwj asks what wwx was doing in *his* room when he's supposed to be working with the concubines.

"Oh, I was just checking up on you," wwx grins. "Gotta make sure your imperial body is healthy too."
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
"You could have asked my physicians," lwj replies, unimpressed.

"I know." wwx kicks at a pebble. "But I was sort of hoping for some… samples?"

"Samples," lwj deadpans.

"You know… blood, hair, urine…" he waves his hand. "Could I cut a chunk out of you?"
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
lwj's personal physicians are so outraged that they nearly faint. harming the emperor is a crime that demands the deaths of three generations of a family. and this upstart dares to ask for—for blood! and for a 'chunk' to be cut out from the emperor!!
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
lwj predictably orders wwx fined a year's pay and confined to the imperial hospital to copy his elders' works a hundred times.

as wwx copies, lwj does some investigation and hears about the good that wwx has done—along with rumors of his shady past.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
some claim that he plundered graves and ate human flesh to gain the knowledge he now has. others say that he used to be a worker at a brothel and that that is why he has such a high success rate treating omegas and children.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
but amidst all the rumors, there is one connecting truth: that he is a good doctor, and he tries his best to heal his patients or ease their suffering.

lwj lifts wwx's punishment and summons wwx to his rooms.

"You said you needed samples?" he asks.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
"Yes." wwx tries his best not to look too eager and fails.

"Samples," lwj says, "like blood and hair?"

"Among other things," wwx says. "But it would be a good start."

lwj nods, draws a knife, and neatly cuts into his forearm. blood drips into a small bowl.
Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist
@cerbykerby
before wwx can say anything else, lwj plucks a few strands from his own head and folds the hair into a clean napkin.

"Go," lwj orders, handing the napkin and the bowl to wwx.

wwx nearly forgets to bow in his eagerness to take the blood and hair.
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