Fair warning, friends: this thread is gonna be full of nerdy history stuff for the next 24+ hours. I’m covering the world’s longest history lesson attempt by UNT prof Andrew Torget.
We’re talking Texas history from the dinosaurs until Greg Abbott and I’m going to be live tweeting the whole thing (fingers crossed)
Torget has been prepping for this thing for a year and he’s raising money for UNT’s Portal to Texas History, a huge database that archives old documents, photos and newspapers
Full disclosure: I took a class w/ Torget when I went to UNT but never took TX history because the class was always full.
Now I get to take it fo free!
Now I get to take it fo free!
I’ll start using the #UNTWorldRecord hashtag now bc I’m really good at the Twitter, y’all. Btw, there’s gonna be a story in @DentonRC on Sunday
Alright, now on w/ the history. Before humans came to TX 12,000 years ago, there were giant animals (wooly mammoths, saber tooth tigers and armadillos the size of Volkswagen bugs)
The students here at #UNTWorldRecord have spot-on descriptors of TX geography
East TX - trees
Panhandle - dry
Houston - wet
East TX - trees
Panhandle - dry
Houston - wet
We went from dinosaurs to Native Americans in 1500 AD in about 25 minutes. We’ll slow down now #UNTWorldRecord
Fun facts about the Karankawan Indians:
-Name means “dog lovers.” They domesticated coyotes #thanks
-Lived in the present day Houston area
-Hunted alligators by stabbing them in the eye with spears. (Gator grease makes good mosquito repellant, apparently)
-Name means “dog lovers.” They domesticated coyotes #thanks
-Lived in the present day Houston area
-Hunted alligators by stabbing them in the eye with spears. (Gator grease makes good mosquito repellant, apparently)
TX Native Americans were small-market tribes compared to everywhere else. U.S. and Canada had 12 mil Indians. Mexico alone had 35 mil while South America had 60 mil. While Mayans were building elaborate temples, TX Indians were out here like “LOOK CORN” #UNTWorldRecord
So we’re onto the Spanish explorers in the #UNTWorldRecord and stuff’s about to get real for the Aztecs and Montezuma(?). Ol’ Cortes comes over for gold and all I can think about is that scene in Pocahontas where all the colonizers grab shovels and start singing
So the Aztecs fell and these other Spanish dudes get real cocky about their knowledge of North American geography. A guy named Narvaez sails from Cuba toward Mexico but ended up in Florida. Still thinks he’s in the right spot 🙄
Torget to class: Has anyone ever been to central Florida?
*guy in Nirvana shirt raises his hand*
Torget: What’s it like?
Nirvana guy: Gross
*guy in Nirvana shirt raises his hand*
Torget: What’s it like?
Nirvana guy: Gross
So Narvez and his right-hand man Cabeza de Vaca land in TX in November 1528 in boats made of horse hide. They look rough and the Karankawas feel bad and give them food. Other guys with Spanish names come in and crisscross the area still looking for gold and silver #UNTWorldRecord
Go home Coronado. You’re drunk.
Actually I think this is De Soto, the other pasty Spanish guy
So even though the Spanish didn’t find gold in TX, their presence was a game changer for Indians. They brought horses which helped tribes hunt (yay!) but they also bring diseases that kill them (boo!) #UNTWorldRecord
The Spanish did start mining silver and had this little “hostile Indian problem” when they would try to transport it. I mean yeah, the natives are a little pissed that these dudes are taking their stuff #UNTWorldRecord
They combat this by building missions to convert and assimilate the Indians. Torget calls them “boarding schools” for natives. “They learn how to farm, speak Spanish, wear pants.”
It’s 1685, btw. La Salle plans an expedition and tries to WALK to Canada. Needless to say, it does not go well and he’s murdered by his own men
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