@Tim_Denning: Being a coward is the default ...

Being a coward is the default behavior.

It lets you stay comfortable, never pursue your dreams, delay your goals to some magical point in the future when rainbows and unicorns will come out just for you, and to let your ego think you’re better than you are.

I was a coward.

I am no longer a coward.

Understanding how the default path leads you to become a coward is crucial if you want to be successful, reach the top 1% of your field, and have some level of wealth.

Let me explain with a letter to my cowardly self.

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When you’re a child everything is possible.

You have big dreams. Your career isn’t chosen for you. You can dream of marrying anyone you want, even a famous supermodel.

Then realism sets in.

The education system teaches you that the number of career paths for your life isn’t infinite… no, it’s split into basic categories like banker, doctor, lawyer, engineer. These options in life are presented in a child-like manner of “Just follow these 12 steps over 4 years and you’ll get a 6-figure job and a house with a white picket fence.”

When you hear anyone talk about other paths outside of this cookie-cutter boredom nightmare, you’re programmed to become highly skeptical. Everything that involves using the internet to feed yourself sounds like a pyramid scheme.

Skepticism makes you a coward. Instead of trying the unconventional path, like starting a business, your mind is closed off from the idea. It gets worse….

Your skepticism makes you always worried about what you’ll lose instead of what you’ll gain. When you focus on the downside you make decisions only a coward would make. Instead of backing yourself, you become oddly worried about being scammed.

You see opportunities as paths that must work the first time around.

If you hire a doctor to help you with a health problem, you feel that one doctor must have all the answers, when in reality, the best solution is likely to consult multiple doctors.

When you live a cowardly life, instead of taking responsibility and realizing you must change, you blame others for your weakness. This shows up as jealousy. You assume successful people are stealing or lying when, in fact, they are just choosing not to act like a coward every time they see an opportunity or are asked to make a decision.

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The reward for cowardice is terrifying.

Cowards get paid the least. They struggle with money. They always feel like they’re being left behind or only one step away from being fired. It’s a self-sabotaging way to live that is the definition of hell.

Being broke becomes a 24/7 mental illness. The assumption is that it’s caused by money. But it’s not. It’s caused by being a coward.

Cowards don't negotiate their salary. They don't pitch the client. They don't launch the product. Every avoided risk is an avoided income opportunity. It compounds over years into a financial hole that feels impossible to escape.

Acting like a coward is an excuse for inaction.

It holds you back for decades if you don’t see it for what it is. When you’re a coward, you don’t do much. You think about yourself a lot though.

When you’re presented with an opportunity you only focus on what YOU can get. “Post on LinkedIn… that sounds good. What do I get out of it?”

The correct answer in this example is to post on LinkedIn to help others, not to “See what I can get.” If you take the coward’s approach you get nothing. History already shows us what selfishness buys us – a fat Santa sack full of coal.

Making decisions when you’re a coward is hard.

That’s why you don’t make decisions. Your default answer to everything is maybe. “Maybe” just means “I’m too scared to decide anything.” If someone challenges your maybe, you will simply let your ego take over and say “Don’t pressure me.”

You wrongly associate the need to make a decision with an act of war.

You spend your whole life being presented with opportunities that, at first, may not look like opportunities, and saying maybe which just means “No, I’m too scared.”

You can’t see this invisible scenario. You think taking more time to decide is the answer but all that does is force you to overthink.

You do something even worse: ghost.

Rather than give an answer you ghost the follow-ups. Every text message or email is ignored. You think you’re being smart or clever by doing so. Really, you’re showing you’re a coward. You’re just ruining whatever good reputation you might have.

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Being a coward means you always feel stuck.

Life never quite works out. Instead of getting help, you’re afraid to do so. First, your financial situation feels like it prevents you from paying for help (even if you have enormous savings or inheritance). Second, you’re worried if you get help someone else will see your cowardice and long list of excuses and call bullsh*t on you. So you stay stuck.

You have the expert virus. You think you have all the answers and can figure it out on your own through trial and error, yet after years of not doing exactly that, you’re still stuck. Afraid. Shaking in your boots.

A simple quote from Naval reveals the deep truth you miss: “The only real test of intelligence is if you get what you want out of life.” In other words, cleverness means nothing if fear is making your decisions for you.

You’re not getting what you want, and deep down you f*cking know it.

All of this leads to enormous stress.

It’s hard to live this way. It’s hard to be an imposter in your own life. To be less than you can be because you simply refuse to change and stop acting like a coward. As it is, you already see stress as a negative feeling. You think life shouldn’t be stressful at all.

And this is what has you trapped and held hostage by your comfort zone.

The avoidance of stress is an act of cowardice too. You don’t want stress which leads you to act more like a coward which leads to more stress.

It’s a deadly cycle.

Your problem could be solved by being willing to change, but change requires stress, uncertainty, discomfort, responsibility, and optimism – all the exact traits that you avoid like the plague.

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Every action and habit you take daily is either a tiny vote towards cowardice or being courageous.

Sherry Ning on X says, “There’s no one more bitter than a smart ambitious person who knows they settled for less than what they could’ve achieved if they were less of a coward. Do you really have ‘high standards’ or is it just an excuse to never get started? The only way to never fail is to never try.”

Having a little bit of courage doesn’t require genius-level intelligence. It requires you to try. To back yourself once in a while. To consider an alternate world where you’re not a coward and everything works out in your favor, including the failures.

Boxing promoter Cus D’Amato nailed it with this:

“The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It’s the same thing, fear, but it’s what you do with it that matters.”

Fear is normal. We all experience it. But whether you’re a coward or not comes down to whether you use fear to your advantage or let it use you. The default in society is to let your fear hold you back. Only the uncommon man/woman will do the opposite.

Your life doesn’t come down to where you were born, college degrees, intelligence, family wealth, or good luck. It comes down to whether you show up every day with cowardice or courage.

You could be incredible but you’re letting cowardice win. Reverse the script. Start letting tiny (not massive) acts of courage win. If you do this, it’ll completely change your life.

Your brain operates based on your past actions.

If the current data your brain has is that you act like a coward, it’ll take that as normal and help you do it more often. You want to rewire your brain with new data, new examples, and new evidence.

Action step: write down everything you fear. Now go tackle one fear every single week for the next year. Take one step in the right direction for each fear. If you fear snakes, go see a snake at the zoo. If you fear leadership, lead a team for an hour. If you fear sales, make one sales call.

On the other side of fear is a level of courage you didn’t know you had. Use it. Become incredible. And you might even change the world in some small way.