@Theholisticpsyc: Expected to do it all from a y...

Expected to do it all from a young age, the over-functioning daughter is exhausted.

Everyone depends on her.

But she feels alone:

The over-functioning daughter has always been the dependable people pleaser in the family. She can keep going even when she's struggling. Everyone sees her as the glue that holds the family together.

From a young age, she was a therapist to her parents. She heard their marital problems. She never was allowed to have boundaries. She was mature for her age, because she had no other choice.

When she sees her family, she feels depressed and irritable. She always wants to see them, but wonders why it doesn't feel good. She wonders why there's a pit in her stomach and a flash of anger when she sees their name on her phone.

Still, she gives and gives. She loves hard. She doesn't ask for help. She takes pride in being independent. She believes it's what makes her strong. She tells herself if she doesn't do it, it won't get done.

And she's not wrong.

She ends up in relationships with partners who, like her parents, overly-depend on her. She can't see this because it's all she's ever known. She can't can't relax or be soft. She's always on guard, waiting for the next crisis.

She ends up with partners who struggle with addiction, who can't place boundaries with their families, or who don't give her the consistency and reassurance she needs to feel safe.

But she's learned to accept it. To dissociate from and deny what's happening around her. Because as a little girl, it's what helped her survive a reality she was too young to cope with.

When she gets an autoimmune disorder, chronic pain, or brain fog, it's her body trying to stop her over-functioning . It's a whisper from her the women who came before her to stop allowing those without self responsibility into her world.

If you're ready to heal, my private community SelfHealers Circle opens Jan 2nd. We have endless workshops, live events, and content around healing from trauma and toxic relationships.

Spaces do sell out.

Join the waitlist here: theholisticpsychologist.com/selfhealers-ci…

The best response to the silent treatment is no response.