@Theholisticpsyc: Your nervous system will tell ...

Your nervous system will tell you when it's time to walk away.

Your body always knows.

Here's when it's time to save yourself:

Our nervous system carries an ancient intelligence. It knows when people or situations are bad for us. It sends us signals that we sometimes overlook. Sometimes it's headaches. Or mysterious symptoms even when our bloodwork is "perfect."

If our nervous system is hypervigilant, and we never feel safe, our immune system cannot fully function. We'll feel exhausted. We'll start to have brain fog and memory issues. We'll forget why we walked into a room.

We're more susceptible to stay with someone and to caretake them if we watched our mother do the same. Our subconscious belief is that we're "good" if we stick it out. And that we're "bad" if we leave.

No matter how it damages us.

In our adult relationships, it's healthy to expect someone to be responsible. It's healthy to expect them to address their unresolved issues. It's healthy to feel angry when we're left picking up the pieces that someone else broke.

Our modern medical system ignores or downplays the profound impact emotions and relationships have on our overall health. Chasing people, trying to force them to change, or begging for them to be better is a root cause of so much illness.

Yet, we're bombarded with movies and societal messaging that paints sacrifice as noble. We're sold stories that it's romantic to save someone. That if someone loves us enough, they'll change.

No one changes for another (& if they do, it never lasts long)

Authentic love isn't about saving anyone. Authentic love is two people working to heal themselves. It's not one person pushing or dragging another down. It's not enabling. It's not being a parent-figure to your partner.

We'll break the cycle when we end self betrayal as a form of love. When we say "I hear my own body." We'll break the cycle when we model to children that saving yourself is a profound act of courage when it's more comfortable to stay.

My private healing community SelfHealers Circle opens for enrollment Jan 2nd.

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Spaces do sell out. Secure your spot on the waitlist here: theholisticpsychologist.com/selfhealers-ci…