@BStulberg: Some guy with a massive platfo...
@BStulberg
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Nov 12, 2025
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Some guy with a massive platform just posted a video to his 5 million followers in which he said:
“Depression is a gift from God. It’s warning you that you’ve got a bunch of potential and you’re not using it. That is why you’re depressed. You don’t need a drug, you don’t have a problem, you’re being sent a warning from God. Put down the meds, stop with the labels, get rid of the excuses, and get back to work.”
In the comments he doubled down:
“Depression always comes after bad people.”
Within three days, the post had over 34K likes and 9K shares.
Its message is absurd—and harmful. As someone who has experienced depression, I feel compelled to address this:
“Depression is a gift from God. It’s warning you that you’ve got a bunch of potential and you’re not using it. That is why you’re depressed. You don’t need a drug, you don’t have a problem, you’re being sent a warning from God. Put down the meds, stop with the labels, get rid of the excuses, and get back to work.”
In the comments he doubled down:
“Depression always comes after bad people.”
Within three days, the post had over 34K likes and 9K shares.
Its message is absurd—and harmful. As someone who has experienced depression, I feel compelled to address this:
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Depression is absolutely terrible.
It’s a deep pain that affects your entire being. It is not sadness. It is not apathy. It is an entirely different universe.
Telling someone in this state that "it’s a gift" and they "just need to get back to work" is unhelpful, dumb, and detached from reality. Telling someone in this state to "put down the meds" or that "depression always comes after bad people" is straight up dangerous.
When you are depressed, you are already filled with self-judgement and self-hatred. The last thing you need is more.
Starting or stopping medication without the oversight of a doctor is reckless—full stop.
It’s a deep pain that affects your entire being. It is not sadness. It is not apathy. It is an entirely different universe.
Telling someone in this state that "it’s a gift" and they "just need to get back to work" is unhelpful, dumb, and detached from reality. Telling someone in this state to "put down the meds" or that "depression always comes after bad people" is straight up dangerous.
When you are depressed, you are already filled with self-judgement and self-hatred. The last thing you need is more.
Starting or stopping medication without the oversight of a doctor is reckless—full stop.
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When he wrote that “depression always comes after bad people” my first thought was this guy is totally out of touch.
My second thought: Abe Lincoln was severely depressed most of his life.
Depression affects all kinds of people. It has nothing to do with one’s character.
If anything, some of the kindest, most wise, most humane, and most caring people are predisposed to depression precisely because of those qualities.
My second thought: Abe Lincoln was severely depressed most of his life.
Depression affects all kinds of people. It has nothing to do with one’s character.
If anything, some of the kindest, most wise, most humane, and most caring people are predisposed to depression precisely because of those qualities.
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The message of, “if you can’t toughen up, there’s something wrong with you” is a dangerous message to send to anyone, but perhaps especially men craving direction.
Men die by suicide at 4x the rate of women.
The suicide rate of veterans is even higher.
One of the driving forces behind this: men don’t seek help for their depression. Instead, they shove it down and do exactly what manosphere grifters advise:
just get back to work.
Men die by suicide at 4x the rate of women.
The suicide rate of veterans is even higher.
One of the driving forces behind this: men don’t seek help for their depression. Instead, they shove it down and do exactly what manosphere grifters advise:
just get back to work.
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On the topic of getting back to work:
It is true that staying busy is one of the best ways to keep depression at bay. Depression hates a moving target.
Researchers call it behavioral activation. I’ve written about it extensively.
It says that you don’t always need to feel good to get going, sometimes you need to get going to give yourself a chance at feeling good.
It is true that staying busy is one of the best ways to keep depression at bay. Depression hates a moving target.
Researchers call it behavioral activation. I’ve written about it extensively.
It says that you don’t always need to feel good to get going, sometimes you need to get going to give yourself a chance at feeling good.
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Behavioral activation is a gold-standard treatment for depression. It works best as a preventative or to reverse mild to moderate cases.
It is not a panacea. It is a tool in the toolkit. But it’s certainly not the only one.
And it never works when couched in a shameful you are broken, you are doing this to yourself, and just need to get off your ass way.
It is not a panacea. It is a tool in the toolkit. But it’s certainly not the only one.
And it never works when couched in a shameful you are broken, you are doing this to yourself, and just need to get off your ass way.
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I think I work pretty hard.
I’ve written five books.
I’ve got a beautiful wife and two wonderful kids.
I coach basketball and baseball.
I deadlift over 2.5 times my body weight.
I get my 10,000 steps most days.
I think I have decent character.
I’ve also been severely depressed.
And it’s precisely why these outrageous messages hit me so hard. I’ve been there. I know how much it hurts.
I’ve written five books.
I’ve got a beautiful wife and two wonderful kids.
I coach basketball and baseball.
I deadlift over 2.5 times my body weight.
I get my 10,000 steps most days.
I think I have decent character.
I’ve also been severely depressed.
And it’s precisely why these outrageous messages hit me so hard. I’ve been there. I know how much it hurts.
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A depressed person does not need to hear that they’ve been “given a gift” or that they need to toughen up. That’s some bullshit.
What they need to hear is that they are experiencing one of the most challenging and vexing parts of the human condition.
What they need to hear is:
- I will be here for you.
- It’s okay to ask for help.
- Do everything you can to stay patient and be kind to yourself.
- Even though it may feel like an impossibility now, if you can just hang in there—if you can just stay—it can get better.
What they need to hear is that they are experiencing one of the most challenging and vexing parts of the human condition.
What they need to hear is:
- I will be here for you.
- It’s okay to ask for help.
- Do everything you can to stay patient and be kind to yourself.
- Even though it may feel like an impossibility now, if you can just hang in there—if you can just stay—it can get better.
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Depression is serious.
Depression is awful.
Depression claims countless lives every day.
Depression is not a character flaw. Depression is not your fault. You don’t just need to toughen up.
You need to stay patient and get help. You need love and support, even—and perhaps especially—when you
feel like you are not deserving of it.
You need to know you are not alone.
Depression is awful.
Depression claims countless lives every day.
Depression is not a character flaw. Depression is not your fault. You don’t just need to toughen up.
You need to stay patient and get help. You need love and support, even—and perhaps especially—when you
feel like you are not deserving of it.
You need to know you are not alone.