@BStulberg: Doing hard things that align w...
@BStulberg
12 views
Jul 19, 2025
1
Doing hard things that align with your values and the person you want to become is one of the most satisfying and underrated things there is.
It builds discipline, self-respect, self-confidence, and the ability to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
A life without any friction sounds nice, but in reality, itâs not.
Technology lets us date, order food, shop, scroll, and work all from the same small screen. You are one click away from making a decision or reversing it. You never really have to put yourself out there. Itâs an existence without much struggle, but also without the satisfaction you gain from overcoming struggle.
For people living a low-friction life, thereâs a temptation to manufacture discomfort with cold plunges or boot camps where you pay to get yelled at as if youâre in the Marines.
In most cases, thereâs nothing wrong with these things, but theyâre not the thing.
Theyâre a bridge to the thing.
If 30 days of cold plunges helps you build discipline, helps you prove to yourself that you can commit to showing up and being uncomfortable in service of a broader goal, and then you carry that grit into showing up as a better parent, partner, athlete, neighbor, musician, or artistâthatâs the point.
Do hard things, yes. Absolutely.
But make sure theyâre the right hard things:
-Staying calm during difficult conversations
-Showing up when you donât feel like it
-Doing meaningful work
-Taking ownership of your health
-Training for something that matters to you
-Stepping into the arena when you could fail
-Being there for people
If all you are doing is cold-plunging and itâs not working in service of your values or goalsâor worse yet, itâs getting in the way or exhausting youâthen itâs no longer worth doing.
Suffering for the sake of suffering makes no sense.
The goal is to have meaningful challenges that ladder up to the person you want to become.
Research shows our stress response is mediated by whether or not a challenge is voluntarily chosen and meaningful. If we view what we are doing as meaningful then we adapt and grow from the challenge. If not, the same challenge exhausts and depletes us.
For some, doing hard things means a physical challenge such as training for a marathon or a deadlift. For others itâs learning a new skill such as guitar or how to paint.
It could also be a meditation retreat.
Or, indeed, a cold-plunge.
The litmus test: am I suffering for sufferingâs sake, or do I find this meaningful because it supports my values and goals?
A frictionless life is one of endless convenience, but it lacks meaningful strain. A good life requires the right kind of strain âchosen, meaningful, growth-giving.
Pushing against worthy challenges adds texture to your life and helps you to become a better version of yourself.
More on this in this week's episode of "Excellence, Actually," wherever you get your podcasts đ§
It builds discipline, self-respect, self-confidence, and the ability to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
A life without any friction sounds nice, but in reality, itâs not.
Technology lets us date, order food, shop, scroll, and work all from the same small screen. You are one click away from making a decision or reversing it. You never really have to put yourself out there. Itâs an existence without much struggle, but also without the satisfaction you gain from overcoming struggle.
For people living a low-friction life, thereâs a temptation to manufacture discomfort with cold plunges or boot camps where you pay to get yelled at as if youâre in the Marines.
In most cases, thereâs nothing wrong with these things, but theyâre not the thing.
Theyâre a bridge to the thing.
If 30 days of cold plunges helps you build discipline, helps you prove to yourself that you can commit to showing up and being uncomfortable in service of a broader goal, and then you carry that grit into showing up as a better parent, partner, athlete, neighbor, musician, or artistâthatâs the point.
Do hard things, yes. Absolutely.
But make sure theyâre the right hard things:
-Staying calm during difficult conversations
-Showing up when you donât feel like it
-Doing meaningful work
-Taking ownership of your health
-Training for something that matters to you
-Stepping into the arena when you could fail
-Being there for people
If all you are doing is cold-plunging and itâs not working in service of your values or goalsâor worse yet, itâs getting in the way or exhausting youâthen itâs no longer worth doing.
Suffering for the sake of suffering makes no sense.
The goal is to have meaningful challenges that ladder up to the person you want to become.
Research shows our stress response is mediated by whether or not a challenge is voluntarily chosen and meaningful. If we view what we are doing as meaningful then we adapt and grow from the challenge. If not, the same challenge exhausts and depletes us.
For some, doing hard things means a physical challenge such as training for a marathon or a deadlift. For others itâs learning a new skill such as guitar or how to paint.
It could also be a meditation retreat.
Or, indeed, a cold-plunge.
The litmus test: am I suffering for sufferingâs sake, or do I find this meaningful because it supports my values and goals?
A frictionless life is one of endless convenience, but it lacks meaningful strain. A good life requires the right kind of strain âchosen, meaningful, growth-giving.
Pushing against worthy challenges adds texture to your life and helps you to become a better version of yourself.
More on this in this week's episode of "Excellence, Actually," wherever you get your podcasts đ§
2
@ethanhays Yes, that's a good litmus test! And, realize that sometimes what makes sense today won't six months from now. We talk about this quite a bit on the podcast. I think it's a really important piece of nuance that all too often gets lost re: things like cold-plunges.