Man asks NYT ethicist whether he should look at women in public....
Richard Hanania@RichardHanania
36 views
Jan 25, 2025
1
Man asks NYT ethicist whether he should look at women in public. The response:
But if there’s any doubt, the unease caused by leering is bad enough that you should err on the side of averting your gaze. In your case, there normally should be doubt. Being aware of whatever shortcomings we may have in the skills of everyday life can guide us toward better practices. Just as people who know they have a poor sense of direction learn to check maps more often, someone who struggles to read social signals around looking would do well by being reserved and not risk making others uncomfortable. It’s a matter of taking the trouble to do what, for you, doesn’t come naturally, and adopting habits that respect everyone’s dignity.
What a terrible attitude. "When it doubt err on the side of making women comfortable."
Not missing one potential relationship that can result in marriage and family is more important than 100 uncomfortable interactions.
This is liberal safetyism that they apply to every other area of life. It's the path to stagnation and death.
Look, chat up, ask out. Don't harass, have enough social skills to learn when you're taking things too far. Remember that it is your responsibility to figure out women, not their responsibility to hold your hand and explain how the world works every step of the way after society has failed you. But as long as you remember all of this, go for it.
But if there’s any doubt, the unease caused by leering is bad enough that you should err on the side of averting your gaze. In your case, there normally should be doubt. Being aware of whatever shortcomings we may have in the skills of everyday life can guide us toward better practices. Just as people who know they have a poor sense of direction learn to check maps more often, someone who struggles to read social signals around looking would do well by being reserved and not risk making others uncomfortable. It’s a matter of taking the trouble to do what, for you, doesn’t come naturally, and adopting habits that respect everyone’s dignity.
What a terrible attitude. "When it doubt err on the side of making women comfortable."
Not missing one potential relationship that can result in marriage and family is more important than 100 uncomfortable interactions.
This is liberal safetyism that they apply to every other area of life. It's the path to stagnation and death.
Look, chat up, ask out. Don't harass, have enough social skills to learn when you're taking things too far. Remember that it is your responsibility to figure out women, not their responsibility to hold your hand and explain how the world works every step of the way after society has failed you. But as long as you remember all of this, go for it.
2
To be fair, this guy seems to have problems. I don’t know how staring at women leads to a divorce. But the attitude of safety first is a bigger problem in society than creepy guys. Though men who are consistently told they’re making women uncomfortable should learn from that.