@YilingSani: #SoftWangxianWednesday Wei W...

#SoftWangxianWednesday

Wei Wuxian sits in the inn in Cayi that he and Lan Zhan tend to frequent.

But this time he is alone.

A couple of jars of Emperor's Smile before him are already empty with no other food in sight.

The innkeeper takes pity on him and brings two more.

Wei Wuxian removes the seal and not even bothering to pour it into a cup, downs the strong liquor in one, spilling most of it on his clothes and chin.

He then slams the jar down on the table and looks outside the window.

The evening is dark and rather chilly for such late spring. The colourful lanterns mirror in the canal and the breeze brings the sweet fragrance of peach blossoms from somewhere nearby.

But the breeze is also cold, making Wei Wuxian who sits next to the open window shudder.

Or maybe it is more than just wind. Maybe the cold that has a grasp on his heart and which he tries so desperately to warm with a jar of Emperor's Smile is entirely because of something else.

He and Lan Zhan had a fight this morning.

It was really nothing major.

Wei Wuxian simply had a couple of bad days recently.

He's been working on a talisman that would help the juniors a lot during their Night Hunts.

But every time he thought he succeeded, something went wrong. And he couldn't figure out what.

So perhaps he put too much effort into it, got carried away, forgetting to sleep and eat in his hyper fixation. Thus upsetting his dear husband.

But this was also a difficult time for Lan Zhan.

While Wei Wuxian cared very little about things like dates and anniversaries of his previous life, Lan Zhan remembered everything.

Wei Wuxian's death anniversary was just a few days away and every year Lan Zhan tended to get a little overprotective.

So this morning when Lan Zhan told him he should stop and take care of himself, Wei Wuxian blew up.

They argued and said some things they didn't mean to and Wei Wuxian walked out of Jingshi, heading straight to Caiyi.

And now he is sitting here, tears in his eyes, moping over Emperor's Smile like a broken-hearted maiden.

His anger has long run out and now he finds missing his husband so much it hurts.

Wei Wuxian wipes away his tears and grabs the jar again taking a chug.

"Stupid Lan Zhan," he mumbles to himself but there's no heat in his voice. "Who does he think he is?"

And stupid him. Sitting here and crying when he could just go home and apologise.

But his temper does not allow it. And maybe Lan Zhan doesn't want to see him anymore anyway.

Wei Wuxian swallows a sob and places his head on the table with a thud.

He begins to feel dizzy from the alcohol. But the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest he gets when he drinks is still absent. No matter how many jars he empties.

He almost falls asleep when suddenly very tender fingertips begin to brush against his cheek.

"Wei Ying," a deep and low voice reaches his brain – warm and velvety like a blanket on a cold autumn night.

He opens his silver eyes and lifts his head halfway from the table.

Blinking a few times, he finds Lan Zhan standing in front of him, his snow-white robes shimmering brignt in the candlelight like a winter moon.

"Lan Zhan," he croaks out, his voice rough from the liquor.

"Wei Ying, I–" Lan Wangji begins but Wei Wuxian shoots up from the table.

He intends to leave. Even if every part of him aches to throw himself into Wangji's arms.

But the liquor has taken effect, making his legs funny and he staggers forward, nearly landing on his face.

Before he and the floor can get closely acquianted, two strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him back up.

Oh, it feels so good. So good to be held by Lan Zhan. He missed it. Missed it so much. He has never been deprived of Lan Zhan's arms, lips and his touch for so long.

But Wei Wuxian has some pride left. He fights out of Lan Wangji's arms and takes a step back, adamant to stand his ground this time.

"What do you want?" he asks, swaying just a little.

Lan Wangji's shoulders are tense – he's clearly worried that Wei Wuxian will fall again.

"Wei Ying, you're drunk," he points out.

"So?" the word comes out harsher than he had intended.

"Let me take you to bed," Lan Wangji moves closer, his fingers wrapping around Wei Wuxian's wrist.

Wei Wuxian tries to break free but fails miserably in his resistance.

"I'm not sleeping with you, Lan Zhan," he replies. "And I can take care of myself."

Lan Wangji releases a heavy sigh.

At that moment the innkeeper rushes over, bowing fast and low several times.

"Lan gonzi," he begins. "Is there anything I can do?"

The couple was well known in the town and the inn. And so were their shenanigans. More precisely, the shenanigans of Wei Wuxian.

And yet, quite a few curious eyes were now watching them.

"Yes," Lan Zhan replies at last. "We'll take two rooms."

"Two?" the innkeeper fails to hide the surprise in his voice.

Two.

The word makes Wei Wuxian flinch and for a second he looks absolutely devastated. Lan Zhan didn't want him anymore.

But then his expression hardens again.

The rooms are soon ready and Lan Wangji drags his husband upstairs, ignoring his loud and fervent protests. He chooses the bigger room for Wei Wuxian and drags him inside.

Wei Wuxian struggles and Wangji finally lets go of his wrist.

He watches his husband unsteadily cross the room and plop down on the bed rather heavily.

Wei Wuxian's silver eyes meet Lan Wangji's and they narrow.

"I can't believe you treated me like that in front of everyone," he says but regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth.

Lan Wangji opens his mouth to say something but he knows that nothing he says will soothe his husband's anger.

Wei Wuxian sighs tiredly, his eyes travelling around the quiet room until they meet Wangji's gold again.

His husband stands frozen at the door and watches him with that look in his eyes.

He cannot bear that look.

That look that digs deep into his soul and stabs him over and over again until his chest feel like a sieve.

That look that Lan Zhan wears after he wakes up from another nightmare or when the conversation somehow ends up about Wei Ying's death.

The look of loss. And heartbreak.

Wei Wuxian can no longer hold back a sob as it breaks free and he hides his face in his hands, letting the tears spill.

He hears the rustle of fabric and the next moment Lan Zhan is there, drawing him into his arms.

"I'm a bad husband," Wei Wuxian mumbles.

"No, Wei Ying," Wangji disagrees, holding him tight and kissing his hair. "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am," Wei Wuxian whines and his cries intensify. "Things I said this morning. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Lan Zhan. I hurt you. I'm sorry."

"No, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji strokes his hair gently while holding his husband close. "I am sorry. I was too demanding. I never want you to feel like I'm trying to control you."

"You're not," Wei Wuxian hiccups, but his cries have died down at last. "I know this is a hard time for you."

Wei Wuxian finally draws back and looks into Lan Wangji's warm eyes.

"Forgive me, Lan Zhan," he whispers softly.

"Nothing to forgive," Lan Wangji replies and kisses his husband's tears away before peppering his whole face with small feather-light pecks, making Wei Wuxian giggle happily.

Wei Wuxian sighs with relief and presses his forehead against Wangji's.

He missed this. He cannot believe they argued in the first place. How stupid was he?

They sit like that for a while and then Wei Wuxian pulls back again.

It's still there. The traces of that look in Lan Zhan's eyes. Less intense now, but still there.

Wei Wuxian lifts his hand and gently caresses Lan Wangji's cheek. His husband leans into his touch and closes his eyes.

Wangji's shoulders relax at last and the crease between his brows evens out. His dark eyelashes tremble as Wei Wuxian keeps stroking his cheek gently.

His arms tighten around Wei Wuxian's waist like he's afraid to lose him if he doesn't hold on tight enough.

Wei Wuxian then takes Lan Wangji's hand, prying it off his waist and places it against his heart.

The golden eyes open and they are devastatingly sad.

"Can you feel it?" Wei Wuxian asks, his palm atop Wangji's, pressed tightly against his own beating heart.

"Can you feel it, my sweet Lan Zhan?" he asks again when Lan Wangji doesn't reply.

His husband finally nods and Wei Wuxian smiles warmly, holding Lan Wangji's gaze.

"It's beating, Lan Zhan," he says. "I'm alive. And I'm yours. Forever."

Lan Wangji's haunted look finally softens and he dives in for a kiss. The kiss is chaste and full of tenderness.

"I love you, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says when they draw back from each other.

"I love you too," Lan Wangji admits and then places his forehead on his husband's shoulder.

Wei Wuxian smiles and begins to card his fingers through Wangji's silky ebony strands, basking in this soft moment.

The room drowns in silence for a while except for the spring rain tapping gently on the roof.

Wei Wuxian no longer feels cold. His heart is no longer heavy. He holds the most precious thing in his arms – Lan Zhan.

Moments pass and Lan Wangji straightens. "Wei Ying needs sleep."

Wei Wuxian thinks for a while and then pouts, his hand mischievously sneaking in between Wangji's robes.

"But Lan-er gege! Your husband has been severely neglected today. Why don't you–"

Before Wei Wuxian can finish, he's pushed down onto the bed and his lips sealed with a kiss – the earlier tenderness gone, now replaced with almost blazing heat.

When Wangji pulls back, his eyes are dark with want and need.

Wei Wuxian grins like the menace that he is and wraps his legs around Lan Wangji's hips.

"Ruin me, Hanguang-jun," he whispers into the already blushing ear.

Lan Wangji doesn't have to be told twice.

That night no one sleeps in the inn.

//the end