@YilingSani: #Wangxian cw: canon divergence...

#Wangxian cw: canon divergence, angst, smut, violence (more warnings on updates), happy ending.

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"Why can't you just back off for once?!" Jin Zixuan shouts in frustration, reaching out to grab Wei Wuxian. "A-Li is still..."

A sudden movement behind his back cuts the

sentence short.

Wei Wuxian's eyes widen in horror when he notices the black shadow behind Jin Zixuan. Without thinking he throws himself forward, yanking Jin Zixuan's arm and pushing him out of the way.

His silver eyes come to meet the whites of Wen Ning. He doesn't even feel

any pain at first. He looks down at the fist punched into his chest. It hadn't gotten through, but it surely should have broken some bones at least. The force should have stopped his heart.

Lifting his silver gaze, Wei Wuxian notices someone else behind Wen Ning. A blurred man

clad in white. The man's hands are tightly wrapped around Wen Ning's elbow.

So that's what stopped Wen Ning from punching a hole in his chest, he thinks.

Wei Wuxian feels tears swell up in his eyes as he meets the molten gold of Lan Wangji's gaze. The Second Jade of Lan is

still holding Wen Ning back with nothing but sheer strength.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian whispers with a smile but it soon gets wiped off.

His delayed senses kick in. Horrible pain rips through his chest, stealing his breath. He clenches his teeth and makes no sound. But he knows

it's the end. The damage is done.

All the anger and frustration he had felt earlier on is now gone.

The right corner of his mouth twitches in slight amusement. A fitting end for Yiling Laozu is what they'll say. Killed by his own creation. Oh, how the clans will rejoice!

At least he saved the peacock...

The darkness floods his mind and blinds him. It fills every bone with insufferable cold. He falls. Hoping to die before his body hits the ground.

But it doesn't. Instead, something, someone catches him. The scent of sandalwood reaches his mind

before he plunges deep into the dark waters of unconsciousness. 

"Wei Ying!" a soft and worried voice is the last sound he hears.

Lan Wangji is there, catching Wei Wuxian before he hits the ground. He holds the wounded man gently with one arm, the sword drawn and ready in

the other.

He must protect Wei Ying.

A heavy silence reigns in the valley. The smell of blood and death fills the air. Lan Wangji lifts his gaze and faces the tall shadow hovering above him.

Wen Ning's eyes are back to normal and he stares at Wei Wuxian in absolute horror,

his fist still frozen in place.

Jin Zixuan is the first one to react. Wei Wuxian had pushed him to the ground out of harm's way. He gets up, shakily leaning on his sword, and meets Wangji's golden eyes.

"Get him out of here," he says quickly under his breath. "Now!"

-----

"Is he going to be alright?" Lan Wangji asks watching Wen Qing bending over Wei Wuxian's body.

They're finally back in the safety of the Burial Mounds.

The strong smell of herbs and medicine has been assaulting his nostrils for nearly an hour now. He tries his best to

to remain calm and collected, but his shoulders are so tense even a bystander could tell how stressed he is.

Wen Qing is in no rush to answer. Eventually, her back straightens and she ties Wei Wuxian's shirt. The healer wipes her hands and turns around to face Wangji.

"He will," she says, her voice steady, but Lan Wangji notices her hands shaking slightly. "Some of his ribs are broken. But he'll live. His heart is undamaged. It...could have been much worse."

The last sentence is spoken in almost a whisper.

"Thank you, Wen–guniang," Wangji bows.

Wen Qing clears her throat, her shoulders squared.

"Don't thank me, Lan-er gonzi," her tone is sharp. "This idiot is lucky you were there. I'll keep him asleep for a couple of days."

Her dark eyes linger on Wei Wuxian's face for a while.

"Now, I must take care of my brother," her eyes meet Wangji's again.

They bow to each other and Wen Qing leaves the cave in quick steps. She needs to comfort Wen Ning.

Lan Wangji walks up to the stone bed and looks down at the man lying on it.

Wei Ying looks very pale.

Wangji recalls when Wei Ying was that tanned, joyous and mischievous boy, causing trouble in the Cloud Recesses.

It seems like ages ago now. So much has happened since then. Sometimes, in the midst of wars and losses, he finds himself missing those early, innocent days.

After his last visit, Lan Wangji couldn't help but be plagued by a bad feeling. He doubted the invitation to Jin Rulan's one-month celebration was so innocent.

While he didn't doubt the intentions of the young Jin couple, many wished to harm Wei Ying

And some would certainly benefit from his death.

Wangji had eyes and ears. There was one person who desired power more than anyone else.

What happened on Qiongqi Path was just that. An ambush. A perfect trap. Someone was trying to get rid of Wei Ying at all costs.

So, Wangji had left the Cloud Recesses again – against his uncle's wishes – and hurried to Qiongqi Path as soon as he could to prevent the looming disaster. He had almost come too late.

His golden eyes wander over Wei Wuxian again. There's not even a blanket here. The stone bed

must be so uncomfortable and cold. He decides to take off his white outer robe and covers Wei Ying with it. It won't help much but it makes Wangji feel better.

His fingers gently brush against Wei Ying's cheek in the process. It's an accident. He didn't mean to touch him.

But the touch sends something electrifying through Wangji's body, making his blood run hot through his veins.

He immediately draws back. His ears begin to burn. He takes a few more steps back until his back hits the wall.

Lan Wangji clenches Bichen until his knuckles go white

and with a sharp sweep of his snow-white robes, he leaves the cave in a sudden need for fresh air.

Perhaps, he was coming down with some illness.

(tbc)

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Wei Wuxian wakes up a couple of days later. His memory is slightly foggy at first, but then he remembers. Remembers what happened on Qiongqi Path.

He finds it rather disappointing that he didn't die. Not that he particularly desires death. But someone has to bear the

consequences.

He only hoped that the peacock is alive. He couldn't care less about the man, but shijie got so close to becoming a widow. All because of him.

Wei Wuxian knows it was his fault. He fell for their trap. He let his anger take hold of him. He had been so close to

destroying everything. Perhaps, Lan Zhan was right. Perhaps, he was losing control after all.

Lan Zhan. He was the one who averted this disaster. Yes, it was his job to be where the chaos is. But was his job to save the cause of the chaos too? Why did Wangji save /him/ of all

the people?

If not for him, Wei Wuxian would be lying dead with a big ass hole in his chest and the world would celebrate his oh-so-tragic but well-deserved death.

Perhaps, what disappoints Wei Wuxian the most, is that he woke up and found Lan Zhan gone. He hadn't even waited

for him to come to his senses and Wei Wuxian couldn't help but feel bitter about it.

It makes sense, of course. Why would the second jade of Gusu Lan want to spend even a second in this cursed place, being near a man whose ways went against all the teachings of the Cloud

Recesses? Yiling Laozu was a lost cause after all.

Wei Wuxian shakes his head to chase those thoughts away. There is no point to worry about it.

He looks up at the shadow lingering at the entrance and sighs heavily.

"How long are you going to stand there, Wen Ning?" he asks

while sitting up straight on his bed.

Wen Ning makes an unsure step forward and enters the cave. His eyes are set on the floor, his shoulders down. The man looks like a beaten-up dog.

"Wen Ning," Wei Wuxian pats the spot next to him. "Come sit down. Let's talk."

The Ghost General moves closer but does not sit down. Instead, he falls to his knees in front of Wei Wuxian with his head bowed low.

Yiling Laozu rolls his eyes so hard they almost make a noise.

"I'm sorry, Wei-gonzi," he speaks.

"Wen Ning, Wen Ning," Wei Wuxian shakes his

head slowly. "Who are you apologising to? And what for?"

"I hurt Wei-gonzi," the man explains. "I almost killed Jin Zixuan."

Wei Wuxian sighs. He did realise how serious all of this was. And he had no idea what the consequences are going to be. But what was done was done.

"Wen Ning," he begins. "None of this was your fault. You were just protecting me. You cannot control it. This all is on me. I lost it."

"So eager to take the fault," another voice suddenly comes from the entrance and Wen Qing walks in, her red robes swishing around her ankles.

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes again.

The healer walks up to him, her dark eyes stern. He allows her to examine his chest while tapping his fingers on the stone bed impatiently.

"Done?" he raises an eyebrow when she lingers.

Wen Qing ties his shirt.

"You're very lucky Hanguang-jun was there."

Her eyes travel down to her still kneeling brother.

"Get up, a-Ning" her tone is sharp. "There's no point in begging forgiveness. We have more important matters to worry about."

Wei Wuxian frowns. "What do you mean?"

"You don't expect them to let this go, right?" Wen Qing asks, her eyebrows raised. "You nearly killed Jin Zixuan."

"I also saved his life."

"Do you think it will change things? You'll be lucky if they believe it all. They might say Hanguang-jun was the one who stopped you."

Wei Wuxian thinks for a while. Perhaps Wen Qing was right.

"Don't you understand?" her voice has a slightly desperate tone to it. "The whole thing was planned just to get rid of you."

"Shijie wouldn't..." Wei Wuxian mumbles under his nose.

"No. But others would."

"I did not curse Jin Zixun. If I wanted him dead, his death would be far more painful and quicker than that."

Wen Qing nods. "I know. But this isn't about who cursed who. This is about power."

Wei Wuxian wants to continue to argue, but he suddenly winces in pain. He's been

putting too much strain on his injuries.

"You need rest," Wen Qing says noticing his pained expression. "Lie down or I'll knock you out myself."

Wei Wuxian growls in dissatisfaction but obeys. He truly believes Wen Qing would take drastic measures to make him listen.

Once she hit him with a pan on his head for secretly trying to spice up the food she was cooking. And her hand was damn heavy.

"You'd not beat a man who's already down," he pointed out.

Wen Qing's lip corners twitched, but no smile took its place.

"Try me, Wei Wuxian."

(tbc)

//Second part will be following later on.

Strangely, everything's quiet for the next few weeks. No one brings an army to the Burial Mounds. No one has placed posters demanding Yiling Laozu's head and offering a great reward in return.

Perhaps, the clans had realised that trying to get rid of him is a bad idea, Wei

Wuxian thinks.

Or perhaps this was just calm before the storm...

It's a quiet morning as Wei Wuxian sits outside at the entrance of his cave, while A-Yuan plays at his feet with a small wooden sword.

He's deep in thought about how to fix the leaking roof in Wen Qing's

infirmary and about the radish harvest which sadly has turned out very poor.

"Xian-ge," he hears a-Yuan's voice and meets the boy's eyes.

"What is it, little demon?" he asks rather fondly.

"A-Yuan hungry," the boy answers while he chews on his own fingers.

Wei Wuxian sighs and shakes his head slowly. "You are always hungry."

He stands and scoops the boy up in his arms.

"Let's go and see if Qing-jiejie has something to eat," he says and is about to turn around when his eye catches something blue. Gently blue as the spring sky.

"Lan Zhan?" he nearly chokes on his own saliva, watching the second jade of Lan walk up the path and stop right in front of him.

"Wei Ying," Wangji speaks in that soft and deep tone and for some reason, Wei Wuxian feels a strange tingling on the back of his neck.

"Rich gege!" a-Yuan shouts, extending his arms towards him.

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. "Here we go. And I thought you were hungry."

"I am!" a-Yuan's lips now turn into a little pout.

Wei Wuxian returns his attention back to Wangji.

"What brings you here, Lan Zhan?" he asks.

The golden eyes watch him carefully for a while. "I need to speak with you. Wen Qing and Wen Ning should join us too."

With these words, he walks into the cave and Wei Wuxian raises his eyebrows. Lan Zhan acts like he owns this place. Strangely, he could not feel angry

about it.

Leaving a-Yuan with Auntie, he heads to the cave himself. Wen Ning and Wen Qing are already there. Their faces promise nothing good.

Wei Wuxian leans against the wall, crossing his arms.

"So, Hanguang-jun," he begins with a smile. "What dark news have you

brought this time?"

There's a heavy silence hanging in the cave for a while.

"The clans held an emergency meeting," Lan Zhan finally speaks. "They've decided about the incident on Qiongqi Path."

"I see. And what have they decided?"

"They want you to hand over Wen Qing and

Wen Ning."

This time silence lasts longer. Until it is broken by laughter. Something dark takes its place in Wei Wuxian's eyes.

"Are they stupid?" he keeps laughing. "Do they really expect me to do it?"

"No," Wangji answers simply.

The laughter stops. "I see. And what they

promise in return?"

"A pardon," Lan Wangji's voice is suddenly very solemn. "They know you saved Jin Zixuan's life. So, they're ready to forgive you if you hand over the last leaders of Wen Clan."

"This is not..." Wen Qing begins but something in Wei Wuxian's eyes makes her

swallow the rest of the sentence.

"Wen Ning, Wen Qing," Wei Wuxian speaks, his tone serious. "Could I and Lan Zhan speak alone, please?"

Wen Ning wants to object but his sister ushers him towards the exit.

Wei Wuxian's arms are still crossed as he watches Lan Zhan with a

silver gaze.

"You're insane if you think I'll give them up," he finally speaks once the siblings are gone. "They are insane."

Lan Wangji makes a step closer. "If you do not comply, they'll bring an army to the Burial Mounds."

Wei Wuxian smirks, dark flame goes ablaze in his

eyes.

"Let them. I'll kill them all."

"Wei Ying..." Lan Wangji's hand clenches around Bichen.

"Wei Ying – what?" Yiling Laozu's smile remains. "Do you really think I'll obey the rules stated by those silly clans? You should know me better than that Lan Zhan. Why would I obey

lesser men? They are nothing but ants under my boot."

Wei Ying's sudden mood swing worries Lan Zhan greatly. He makes another step closer.

"Wei Ying, listen," he begins.

"No!" Wei Wuxian nearly shouts. "You listen! I will not give them up! I didn't save them just to

to lose them again. Wens are my family. Do you remember the promise we made when we were young, Lan Zhan? Have you forgotten it already?"

Lan Wangji's golden eyes watch him for a while until he finally looks down.

"No," he admits in defeat.

"And would you act differently if you were in my place? Would you give them up?"

Wangji lingers for a while and then meets the silver eyes. "No."

Wei Wuxian says nothing for a while, his eyes watching Wangji carefully.

"Then you understand why I can't accept their offer," he

finally speaks. "But...they don't really expect me to accept it anyway, do they?"

"No," Lan Wangji answers again.

Wei Wuxian smiles. Peace was never an option. The clans expected him to refuse, so they'd have an excuse to bring their little army to the Burial Mounds and

and destroy him. All they needed was a reason.

He turns around to leave, but Lan Wangji grabs his wrist painfully.

"What are you doing, Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian's tone is laced with warning.

"Wei Ying," Wangji begins, his golden eyes determined. "Come to Gusu with me."

Wei Wuxian snorts, struggling to free his hand. "You're still about the same, Lan Zhan? I am not coming to Gusu with you."

"Wei Ying..."

"Let me go, Lan Zhan, or I swear..."

He grows quiet. There it is. The warm molten gold in Wangji's eyes has turned cold.

"Or what?" there's a challenge in Lan Wangji's voice.

Wei Wuxian's eyes narrow. "I don't want to hurt you, Lan Zhan. But I will if I have to. I will not be dragged to Gusu so your uncle can lock me up. Or worse, try to exorcise the 'evil' from my body with your Lan methods."

"Wei Ying, that's not..." Wangji begins but then lingers for a while as if looking for the right words.

"I care about you," he finally says.

Yiling Laozu watches him for a while and then begins to laugh. But the laughter is bitter with no sign of amusement in it.

"You?" he raises his eyebrows. "Why? Oh, Lan Zhan. Do you really think of me as such a fool? Aren't you forbidden to lie? Or are your rules valid only in the Cloud Recesses?"

Wei Wuxian finally manages to break out from Lan Wangji's grip. He fails to notice the hurt in the man's

golden eyes as he turns around again.

But Wangji blocks his way.

Yiling Laozu draws his fists, his eyes dark and challenging.

"Back off, Wangji," he warns.

"No," Lan Wangji's voice is just as determined.

Wei Wuxian smirks. "I knew it would come to this one day."

"Wei Ying..."

"No. You don't get to call me like that. I thought we were friends, Lan Zhan. I was wrong. But again, I should not be surprised."

Wangji's brow turns into a deep frown.

"Don't you remember?" Wei Wuxian chuckles darkly. "You never liked me. Even back then in

the Cloud Recesses. Even when I was cultivating the righteous path. I tried to befriend you, Lan Zhan. But you turned me down. Later on you tolerated me. But when I turned to Demonic Cultivation..."

"It's not true," Lan Wangji's voice suddenly diminishes in its strength somehow.

Wei Wuxian raises his eyebrows.

"You shall not interrupt. Lan Wangji, what would your shufu say hearing you break the Lan rules so easily?"

Lan Zhan tries very hard to stay patient, but his patience is also running thin.

"In Gusu, I can protect you," he points out, hoping

that Wei Wuxian will listen.

But Yiling Laozu laughs his words off. He makes a step closer, bringing his face to Wangji's.

"Protect me?" his voice is mocking and dark. "Ha! Don't play the gracious saviour with me, Lan Wangji. I know how you Lans 'protect' the ones you care

about."

If Wei Wuxian was a smarter man, he'd have stopped before this escalates even further. But he had decided to hit Wangji where it hurts the most.

Lan Wangji frowns, yet unaware of the meaning of Wei Wuxian's words.

"I know," he grins darkly, "how you treat the ones you drag to Gusu to 'save' them. I know you lock them up, take away their children and let them wither and die alone."

This was it. It was a victory for Wei Wuxian.

He smiles darkly seeing Lan Zhan go incredibly pale. The

golden eyes widen in horror, while he's still processing Wei Wuxian's words. His hand is shaking with such force that Bichen's blade makes a clinking sound against its scabbard.

But the hurt in his eyes is soon changed to something else. Something that Wei Wuxian's hasn't

seen before. Something very, very dark.

As much as Yiling Laozu enjoyed his triumph, he begins unconsciously to step back as Lan Zhan draws closer. The golden eyes – now dark and cold – holding him a prisoner.

Wei Wuxian's back meets the wall. He knows he might as well be

taking his last few breaths, but he does not step down.

"Oh," he grins, "did I strike a nerve? Have I finally angered the mighty Hanguang-jun enough?"

"Wei Wuxian!" a growl breaks out deep from Lan Zhan's chest.

"Lan Wangji," Wei Wuxian raises his chin. "What are you going

do? Kill me? Go ahead, Lan Zhan. Do it."

The next moment a fist flies towards Wei Wuxian's face. But instead of hitting him, it lands with force into the wall, right next to Wei Wuxian's left temple. It's still close enough to feel the impact. The wall behind him cracks.

Lan Wangji's face hovers so close Wei Wuxian can feel the warm breath on his cheek. He finds himself enwrapped in a cloud of sandalwood scent.

Two enraged golden eyes stare at him from below the dark lashes and suddenly Wei Wuxian feels weak in his knees.

(tbc)

🔞 nsfw

The fist is still stuck in the cave's wall, small stones falling on the ground like raindrops.

All the brawliness and anger have suddenly left Wei Wuxian. His silver eyes are still fierce though – never leaving Lan Zhan's face.

Wei Wuxian never considered himself a

weak man. Even without his golden core. But the fist next to his face makes him realise that Lan Zhan could easily break him if he wanted to. Or drag him all the way to Gusu with force.

They both are breathing hard from the argument. And although both are the same height,

Wei Wuxian now feels somehow a lot smaller under that intense golden gaze.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian whispers and begins to move away from the wall.

But he doesn't get far. The other Wangji's arm blocks his way out and he finds his body suddenly pressed against the wall.

"Lan Zhan?" something of a fear mirrors in Wei Wuxian's eyes and yet there is a strange rush of excitement in his blood.

"Wei Ying doesn't listen," Lan Wangji grunts through clenched teeth, his eyes burning. "Wei Ying never listens."

A bad feeling digs it's claws into

Wei Wuxian's guts. His hand searches for the Chenqing at his waist. But Wangji is faster. He grabs the dizi and throws it away across the cave. It lands on the floor with a hollow sound.

"Lan Wangji!" Wei Wuxian shouts, a new wave of anger taking him over. "How dare you..."

He doesn't get to finish his sentence. He is turned around and shoved back against the wall with a force that knocks his breath out. He tries to push back with his palms, but Lan Wangji grabs his arms and a few moments later they're tightly bound, rendering Wei Wuxian helpless.

"What are you doing?!" Wei Wuxian grunts, his cheek pressed against the wall.

He's trying to wiggle his body out of the situation, but Wangji presses against him even harder, giving him no space for escape. He feels something big and hard against his ass.

"Lan Zhaaan," he

whines deciding to change his tactics. "Can you calm down? Can we just talk? Let me go. Untie me. Let's talk, hm?"

But Wangji is too far gone in his anger to talk. He turns Wei Ying around and grabs his jaw with one hand, smacking their lips together.

Wei Wuxian's eyes go wide and he purses his lips, refusing to give in. Unable to get in, Lan Wangji pinches Wei Wuxian's waist and the other man yelps only for his yelp to be swallowed by Lan Zhan's greedy mouth.

Unbelievable. No one has ever treated him like this. What was

even more unbelievable, was that Wei Wuxian was getting so hard from this. He is raising towards Wangji like a fucking flag pole.

Rendered of any movement, pressed so hard against the wall and struggling with his own mixed feelings, his mouth is assaulted by Wangji's lips and

tongue. The kiss is heated and forceful and suddenly it seems strangely familiar.

"Hmph," Wei Wuxian makes a sound and Wangji draws back just for a minute.

He notices that Lan Zhan's ribbon is gone.

"It...it was you," he whispers, his voice coarse. "In the forest. During

the Night Hunt."

Lan Wangji neither confirms nor denies it. But Wei Wuxian knows. He remembers the taste of those lips. The softness of them and the roughness of the kiss. And it does something to him. Something that makes all the caution and resistance go out the window.

When Lan Wangji's lips land on his again he doesn't resist. Instead, he slides his own tongue in twisting it with Wangji's.

He is at Lan Zhan's mercy, his lungs begging for air. But his mouth wishes those lips would never let him go. His knees nearly fold and if not for

Lan Wangji's body holding him against the wall, he'd fall. His mind is cloudy, his head reeling.

Wei Wuxian gasps for breath when Wangji draws back again, leaving his lips and instead moving down to his jawline and neck.

"Lan Zhan, we shouldn't," he forces his words out and

yelps again when Wangji lands a bite on his neck.

"La-la-lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian begins to struggle again but to no avail. And yet he exposes his neck in expection for more.

Wangji covers his neck in kisses and bites reducing Wei Wuxian to a whimpering mess. The hand tears

off his belt and the sash, peeling both layers open. Exposing Wei Wuxian's fast raising and falling chest. The long, cold fingers  – slow and teasing – travel over the muscular chest, the strong abdomen, lower and lower, under the navel until they stop at the trousers.

By now Wei Wuxian is burning. Every Wangji's touch is like a pure flame and makes him shiver. Instead of trying to get free, his hips unconsciously are grinding against Lan Zhan – even with the little wiggle room there is. Half of his mind insists that this is wrong. He's not a

cut-sleeve. But the other half desires this so much he has to hold himself back from begging.

Wangji rips his trousers off, freeing his hard and already leaking cock. Wei Wuxian gasps as the hand wraps around him and starts to stroke. Fast and without a method. The other one

returns back to his chest and pinches one of his already so sensitive nipples, forcing him to moan and arch his back.

This is going too far. Wei Wuxian feels like he should stop this. He was Yiling Laozu. A man feared by the whole martial world. And yet he is treated this way.

Incapacitated and jerked off by another man.

But he couldn't. Instead, he thrusts into the now warm hand, moaning and breathing heavily, his eyes shut in pleasure.

"Lan Zhan!" he manages to put a couple of words together. "Stop. I'll..."

It was too late. He comes spilling all

over the hand still stroking him. It doesn't stop through all his orgasm and even beyond it until Wei Wuxian cries from sensitiveness and begs Wangji to stop.

Lan Zhan finally takes mercy on him. He moves back slightly and catches the falling Wei Wuxian who feels like he has

no bones left in his body. His head is swimming in fog.

But if Wei Wuxian thought that it was finally over, he was very wrong.

The next moment he is manhandled and bent over the stone bed, with his plump ass exposed in the air.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian's tone is soft, but he

has finally found his voice. "Please. Stop. What is this? Didn't you get your revenge already?"

He tries to get up but a strong hand between his shoulder blades pushes him down against the stony surface. He hears the rest of his robes being torn off.

Lan Zhan's fingers knead

his buttocks for a while painfully, definitely leaving bruises, until one of them presses against his entrance, massaging the muscle around it. Slowly but relentlessly the finger breaks its way in.

Wei Wuxian blushes violently, his body tenses as he grits his teeth. He

tries to move away but the hand presses down harder on his back. His aching shoulders and wrists struggle against the ribbon trying to break free.

It hurts. All of it hurts. It hurts when another finger joins in and then another, stretching him. But the pain turns into

something else when one of the fingers hit a certain spot. His body jerks and a loud long moan escapes his lips.

He's so hard again.

When the fingers are suddenly gone he feels the loss in his heart. But not for long. There's breaking of a glass and then something much bigger

align against him. Wangji's free hand adjusts his hips and then he pushes in.

Wei Wuxian's eyes roll back into his skull and he screams. A soft hand lands on his mouth, muffling the sound. Wangji pushes in deeper and Wei Wuxian feels like he's going to split in two.

His slender, muscular thighs tremble uncontrollably and his legs give out completely.

Lan Wangji leans down and places a soft kiss on Wei Wuxian's shoulder and then rams all the way in. More muffled screams escape him.

Wei Wuxian's body shivers as Wangji drags his cock

almost all the way out and then slams back in. Over and over again. Every time he speeds up, not giving Wei Wuxian a chance to even catch a breath.

Lan Wangji's hand finally leaves Wei Ying's mouth. What is coming from Yiling Laozu's lips now are just pitiful whimpers and a

few broken bits of 'mercy'. And yet he pushes his ass back taking Lan Zhan even deeper.

He's not sure how long it lasts. His body moves back and forth on the stone bed as Wangji drives into him with an overwhelming force. And even then he wishes Lan Zhan could go deeper. Dig

all the way to his soul, fill the cold emptiness in him until there's no space left for anything else.

Lan Wangji's massive cock has been assaulting Wei Wuxian's prostate mercilessly and he feels like he's slowly losing his mind. Incoherent sounds barely escape his lips now –

he has no strength left to make a noise at all. His body shakes and writhes under Lan Zhan, every muscle tensing, every toe curling.

He comes again, tears pouring out of him, mixing with his drool and snot. What a mess.

The last few thrusts are especially forceful and

Wei Wuxian almost passes out. He hears Wangji's soft grunt, feels his hot seed filling him. There's so much of it he's worried he'll not be able to take it. But Wei Wuxian does. Every last drop.

After a while Lan Wangji finally stops.

He drags the barely conscious Wei Wuxian

further up on the bed and lies down behind him – both still deeply connected. He unties the ribbon and pulls Wei Wuxian in his arms, holding him tight.

Wei Wuxian is completely fucked out. He has no strength to move. His chest heaves, his breaths shallow and quick. He shakes

from exhaustion and soreness and tears still stream down his face.

Lan Zhan finally withdraws from him after what seems like ages and he groans in pain. Soft kisses land in his sweat-soaked hair as an apology.

His heart mourns the loss of Lan Zhan, feeling his seed leaving

him too. He shouldn't wish this. But he does. He wishes he could keep Lan Zhan inside him forever. With him gone, Wei Wuxian suddenly feels like a half of himself is gone too.

But Lan Wangji is still there. Holding him tight and Wei Wuxian's body snuggles against him so close

as if trying to melt into Lan Zhan's skin.

Thoughts try to take a hold of Wei Wuxian's mind. Thoughts of what this all means. But he's too exhausted for it.

In just a few moments he passes out in Lan Zhan's warm embrace.

// end of 🔞

(tbc)

From the top

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Wei Wuxian wakes up alone to loud noises coming from the outside. At first, his mind goes into panic mode. But when his still sleepy brain finally registers that it is just a-Yuan's laughter, he relaxes.

A deep sigh escapes his lips while his hand is looking for Chenqing at his

waist. What he finds, however, is not his dizi. What he finds is himself. Completely naked.

"What the..."

Yesterday's – or whatever time it was now – events slowly come back to him and he slaps his hand in front of his mouth, muffling a long and loud wail.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Maybe it was a dream? Yes, that would be the only sensible explanation.

Wei Wuxian sits up sharply. He instantly regrets it, a loud groan escaping his lips. Gods, everything hurts. Especially his ass. He lies back down and turns to one side trying to relax his sore muscles.

He should be dirty. But he isn't. Did someone bathe him?

His eyes widen. Oh my god! Did /Lan Zhan/ bathe him? The thought of Lan Zhan handling him while he's...oh my god!

'Come on, Wei Wuxian,' a small voice in his mind speaks. 'The bath is the least of your worries.'

Yes. The voice is right. Fuck the bath.

Wei Wuxian looks at his wrists, the marks from Lan Zhan's ribbon still on them. He examines them closely, feeling a strange fondness towards the imprints on his skin.

The memories of Lan Zhan pressing him against the wall, his fingers

around his cock. The way Lan Zhan filled him, the strong hands on his hips and kneading his ass. The way he fucked the living daylights out of him...

Wei Wuxian blushes hard at the memories. And that's not the only hard thing that is happening to his body right now.

No, this needs to stop.

Wei Wuxian slaps himself. He takes a few deep breaths, trying to get his act together. But the fact that he can still smell the sandalwood scent around him does not help.

Only now does he realise he is covered with something. To his horror he finds it

be Lan Wangji's pristine blue outer robe. He kicks it off.

"Wei Wuxian?" there's a voice coming from the entrance and he hears footsteps.

Wei Wuxian whimpers and immediately pulls the blue robe back all over himself, head included.

"I'll be there in a minute, Wen Qing," he

says, but his voice is small and coarse – his throat is dry as a desert.

She doesn't move.

"Are you hurt, Wei Wuxian?" she asks, her voice coloured by slight concern.

"Just my pride," he answers with a pained chuckle. "Is Lan Zhan...."

"He's outside playing with a-Yuan."

"Alright. Let me get dressed. And then I'll join you."

"Wei Wuxian..."

"Wen Qing. Go. Please."

He hears her footsteps fading and then the cave is quiet again. He pushes Lan Zhan's robe aside and hides his face in his palms.

Lan Zhan is still here. Gods, how can he look him in the face after this?

This was all his fault. He pushed Lan Zhan yesterday. He challenged the mighty Hanguang-jun and got what he deserved. All those times Wei Wuxian had teased him about his incompetence and the lack of

any experience. Lan Zhan had finally had enough.

For some reason, this thought induce tears in those silver eyes.

Oh, it hurts. The thought that this was nothing but a punishment, a moment of weakness...it causes actual pain.

'What were you expecting, Wei Wuxian?' he asks

himself. 'Do you really think Lan Zhan would like someone like you? Don't be stupid.'

No, he had to stop there. He is not a cut-sleeve, isn't he?

'I think it's a bit too late for that,' the voice speaks again as the memories of him bent over the stone bed come back

flooding his mind.

Wei Wuxian gets up with a groan. He has to get himself together.

He slides off the bed, every move causing pain in his body. His legs are shaky and unstable, but he does manage to find clean robes and get dressed.

He downs all the possible drinkable

water he can find in the cave, takes a very deep breath and walks outside.

Lan Wangji indeed is sitting nearby and playing with a-Yuan. Wen Ning is there too and Wen Qing hovers nearby. Her eyes immediately meet Wei Wuxian's. He has no idea in what state he is, but she looks

concerned.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says and it sends a shiver over Wei Wuxian's body – he feels the heat rising in his cheeks.

Wei Wuxian swallows hard and turns his head towards him, arming himself with a forced smile.

"Lan Zhan," he tries to sound cheery, but his voice is a

bit too high and a bit too fake. "I thought you left."

Something shifts in Lan Wangji's golden eyes.

"We should talk about what to do," Wen Qing comes closer and stops next to Wei Wuxian. "The clans..."

"The clans can fuck off," Wei Wuxian interrupts her, thankful for the

change of subject. "They are free to come. I'll kill every single one of them."

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan's tone is laced with warning.

Wei Wuxian looks at him but refuses to meet the golden eyes directly.

"There is no other option, Lan Zhan. I've made my decision. I'm not coming

to Gusu with you. And i'm not handing them over either."

"Don't you think this is also our decision to make?" Wen Qing asks sharply. "After all, they want us. If I and my brother go, you might all live in peace."

Wei Wuxian smirks darkly while crossing his arms behind his back.

"Do you think it would end with you? They want me, Wen Qing. They want my death. And the Yin Tiger Tally."

Wen Qing knows Wei Wuxian is right. But she hates the thought of him causing more bloodshed just to protect her and Wen Ning.

"Besides," Wei Wuxian's eyes travel down to

the rest of Wen remnants going about their daily chores, "attacking Jin Zixuan was my fault. Why should a knife be held responsible for the deeds of its master?"

All four stand in deep silence for a while, only a-Yuan keeps digging holes in the ground with a small stick at

Wangji's feet.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji finally breaks the silence. "Is there somewhere you can take them?"

Wei Wuxian shakes his head sadly.

Where could they go? The Burial Mounds are their shelter. A place where he expected no one would dare to come. But just like so many

times in his life, he was wrong again. He was failing again. Failing to protect what was so very dear to him. And just like that day when he returned to the inn finding his brother gone, Wei Wuxian felt just as helpless once more. He knew nothing. He could do nothing.

If they come to Burial Mounds, there would be casualties on both sides. The people he had tried to protect so hard, the people who had already survived the horrors of one war, would be thrown into another one.

If he stays and fights they'd most likely still die.

If he gives up

Wen siblings, they'd still die. Clans would find another reason and set another trap and Wei Wuxian would eventually fall for it. There was no way out of this.

"In the mountains, south of Yiling," Wen Qing interrupts his thoughts, "are old caves and passageways of what once was

an ancient city. No one knows about its existence except us. We could hide there and buy us some time."

Wei Wuxian considers her words for a while.

More running. More hiding. He looks down at a-Yuan. This was not the life he had planned for them. But then again, nothing ever

happened the way he wanted it.

"Lan Zhan," he finally looks up. "When do they expect me to hand over Wen Qing and Wen Ning?"

"By the end of the full moon."

Wei Wuxian sighs heavily, his eyes wandering over the rest of the Wens tiredly.

"Fine," he finally nods. "We leave in

four days. Wen Qing, Wen Ning, get everyone ready."

Wen Qing gives his forearm a small assuring squeeze and goes off, dragging her brother away with her.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan begins, searching for the silver eyes which still are avoiding him. "Can we talk?"

Wei Wuxian lingers. He's not sure if this is a good idea. He couldn't handle another 'conversation' like the last one. Not right now.

He finally nods. But instead of walking back into the cave, he strolls towards a dead tree nearby and stops there. Lan Wangji follows until both

men are standing face to face.

Wei Wuxian takes an unconscious step back.

The drop in Wei Ying's mood earlier on had not slipped unnoticed to Lan Wangji. He could read it on the man's face. Disappointment. Guilt. Hopelessness. He wants to step forward and pull Wei Ying in his

arms. Comfort him and make him feel safe. But Wei Ying keeps his distance and refuses to meet his eyes.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan begins. "About yesterday..."

Wei Wuxian takes a sharp breath and for the first time, the silver eyes meet the gold. But the gaze is cold and devoid of

all light.

"Don't worry about yesterday, Lan Zhan," he says wrapping his long arms around himself, feeling a sudden chill in his bones. "You don't have to explain. I understand. It was my fault. It's alright really. I'd prefer if we just...forgot about it. It was...a mistake."

He looks down again, missing the whole storm of emotions in Lan Wangji's eyes. Missing the moment Lan Wangji's heart shatters into a thousand small pieces.

Wangji's hand clenches around Bichen and this time it's not in anger. Or desire. This time it is pain. The pain of

of Wei Ying's refusal.

"I'd like to escort Wei Ying to safety before I return to the Cloud Recesses," he finally says.

Wei Wuxian lifts his silver gaze, finding nothing but Lan Zhan's usual expression of indifference.

"Will you listen if I refuse?" Wei Wuxian asks with a small, teasing smile.

"No," Wangji answers simply.

The silver eyes shimmer just for a second until they settle for the cold and lonely darkness that Yiling Laozu has been carrying around in his heart all this time.

"Fine," he nods. "But that's where our paths will seperate."

"Mn."

Wei Wuxian forces out a small smile. He then turns around and heads back to the cave, feeling cold and empty and wishing to the heavens above he could feel the warmth of Lan Zhan's arms for one more time.

(tbc)

They've been on the road for four days now. They are slow. Most of the Wens are of old age, few are children. Wei Wuxian and Wen siblings help where they can, carrying as much as they are able to and more.

The valley is very narrow, full of small trees and thick bushes.

The steep cliffs on both sides create sort of a corridor. The road leading through is covered in tall grass and even small trees, clearly not being in use for a very long time.

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath of fresh mountain air. It felt good to be away from the Burial Mounds

and the heavy air of decaying bones. The fertile and soft earth under his feet now makes him think of all the food they could grow in a place like this. They'd not go hungry.

But he has to remind himself that even this is temporary. Perhaps, this is their life now. Constantly

on the road. From one place to another. With someone always chasing after them.

He looks over his shoulder at the end of their line. The fancy blue robes are a strange contrast amongst the worn and torn clothing of Wens. Even Wei Wuxian's own robes have seen better days.

Wei Wuxian is not sure why Lan Zhan insisted to come. But he knows there was absolutely no point to argue with him. Lan Zhan has saved his life several times now, so he trusted him. And Lan Zhan's Bichen never missed in case they'd run into some monsters on their way.

Over the last few days they've been travelling, Wei Wuxian has been trying not to think about what happened between him and Lan Zhan in that cave. Especially, with Lan Zhan in such close proximity.

But Wei Wuxian couldn't help but miss the warmth of Lan Zhan while sleeping on

the cold ground of their camp.

He'd watch Lan Zhan sleeping, his silver eyes tracing along the lines and the shapes of the man's nose, lips and brow in the amber glow of the dying campfire.

Night time becomes Wei Wuxian's time of indulgence. He can watch Lan Zhan undisturbed

without risking weird glances from others or drawing the attention of the man himself.

A small compensation but it would have to be enough, even if every little part of him wants more. Wants so much more. But Lan Zhan is just like the snowy peaks of the far mountains. Wei Wuxian

was destined to admire them only from afar.

His thread of thought is cut when Wen Ning lands next to him, nearly scaring the living shit out of him.

Wei Wuxian shakes the black dizi at him. "If you do this again..."

But he doesn't finish the sentence. Something's wrong. Wen

Ning looks worried.

"The road is blocked, Wei-gonzi," he speaks fast. "Cultivators. At least two hundred of them."

Something resembling bloodthirst ablazes in Wei Wuxian's eyes and he smirks darkly. His long fingers play with Chenqing and its red tassel like a cat with a

slowly dying mouse in its claws.

"Only two hundred?" he repeats, his tone amused but there's a hint of danger in it. "They really underestimate me."

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji is already next to him, holding his wrist in a strong grip. "You cannot fight them."

The silver eyes are slowly emitting a red glow.

"Why not?" he looks Wangji in the eye. "They came to kill me. Am I not allowed to defend myself?"

Loud noise makes everyone turn their head towards the road ahead. But there's more coming from behind as well. They find themselves

surrounded.

"Fuck," Wei Wuxian swears, pushing Wangji's hand away. "If you're not going to help me, then at least move aside, Lan Zhan."

He takes a step back as his silver eyes measure the surroundings around him. There should be plenty of spirits to call upon and corpses to

raise.

Closing his eyes he places Chenqing to his lips, ready to release the first shrill note.

But a stinging feeling on the back of his neck stops him. The dizi drops and he feels himself suddenly falling. However, he doesn't hit the ground. Two blue-clad arms catch him

and hold him tight.

Wei Wuxian's body has gone limp and numb. Not a single muscle obeys him and his eyes are bewildered and confused when Wen Qing appears in front of him.

"What did you do?" he asks but even his voice is losing its power. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Saving you," Wen Qing answers and nods at the bushes on the far side of the road.

Wei Wuxian is being dragged there and placed on the ground, with his upper body supported against Lan Zhan, whose hands are still wrapped tightly around him.

"Wei Wuxian, listen," Wen Qing kneels in front of him.

"No, you...listen," Wei Wuxian forces his words – the talking is becoming harder and harder. "You cannot...I can take them. I can...We will survive."

"Wei Wuxian!" her voice is filled with anger. "Will you shut up and

listen for once! If you kill them, you'll give the world another reason to hate you."

"They...already...do," Wei Wuxian's voice has gone down to a whisper.

"Yes," Wen Qing confirms and suddenly takes Wei Wuxian's hand in hers. "But there's still a way to fix it. With us gone

you can live. You have a sister who misses you. And a nephew. They'll need you."

"No," Wei Wuxian grits his teeth, fighting the tears that have started to stream down his face. "No. I can..."

"Wei-gonzi," Wen Ning kneels down in front of him. "You gave me and my sister and

our people a good life. You protected us risking everything. You gave up your life, your family and your good name to save us. It is time for us to pay back the debt."

A broken whine escapes Wei Wuxian lips – his mouth or tongue no longer could be controlled thanks to Wen Qing's

needles.

Wen Qing wipes off the tears streaming down Wei Wuxian's face.

"My brother is right. We should have been dead a long time ago. I should have never involved you in this in the first place. But when I came to you, you helped. Helped me find my brother and my

family. You sacrificed everything for us."

At this point, the rest of Wens have gathered around them as well.

"Wei Wuxian," Wen Qing places a loose strand behind his ear. "I'm sorry. And thank you."

More whines break out from Wei Wuxian as he tries to struggle against the

needles stuck in his neck. But nothing in his body moves. And no one wants to help him either. All he can do is a howl in desperation. But even for that, he needs his mouth open.

"Wen-guniang," Lan Wangji begins, but the woman's dark eyes leave no room for discussion.

"It's the only way out Lan-er gonzi," her voice is strict and there's steel in her eyes. "Take good care of him. And a-Yuan. I trust them both to you."

Lan Wangji nods. The golden eyes are shimmering with held-back tears too.

"A-Yuan," Wen Qing takes the boy from one of

the elderly Wens. "Listen to me carefully. I want you to be very, very quiet. It's important. And you need to take care of Xian-ge. He needs you. Can you do that for me?"

The boy nods and crawls over to Wei Wuxian, wrapping his little arms around the man's waist and holding on

to him tightly

"Good boy," Wen Qing smiles shuffling his hair. She tucks Chenqing behind Wei Wuxian's belt and gives him one last look.

"Stay out of trouble," she says in a sisterly manner and then stands up.

"Wei-gonzi," Wen Ning bows with his brow touching the ground and

then gets back on his feet.

Other Wens follow their example, bowing to Wei Wuxian and thanking him sincerely. And then they follow Wen Qing and Wen Ning back on the road, leaving the little shelter behind.

Wei Wuxian whines, his every cell wishing to run after them. To protect

them.

What were two hundred cultivators against him? He could take down thousands of them. He could take down the whole world if necessary, just so the people he cared about would live.

He feels a-Yuan snuggling against him closer. The boy is shaking. He can't even comfort

poor a-Yuan.

The silence is painfully long. But heavy footsteps are approaching. Marching in one rhythm. An army.
However, they cannot see anything from their little shelter.

Lan Wangji quickly draws a couple of protection arrays and places a hiding talisman on himself, Wei

Ying and the little boy. The arm around Wei Wuxian tightens, while the other one encircles a-Yuan, covering his ear.

The noises become louder with each step. The clink of weapons in their scabbards, crisp cracks of whips and trembling strings of spiritual instruments.

Lan Zhan notices the white robes of the Lan Clan between the thick leaves.

And then a sound of screams cut the air like a sword. Screams familiar to Wei Wuxian's ears.

He whines again as loud as he can and Wangji has to cover his mouth with his hand to muffle the sound. Luckily

the noise from the fight drowns everything else. A-Yuan is shaking and crying too, but he makes no sound just like he had promised.

Lan Wangji can feel Wei Wuxian's desperation in his own heart. He feels Wei Ying's hot tears gliding over his hand, wishing there was something he

could do to help. But he must keep Wei Ying and a-Yuan safe. No matter the price.

And then it all drowns in heavy silence. The fight is over. The weapons are sheathed.

After what feels like another eternity, there's a sound of roaring fire consuming something and a sickening

smell of burnt flesh.

He can feel Wei Wuxian finally passing out.

"Search the valley!" Lan Wangji hears a voice nearby.

He wraps his arms tightly around Wei Wuxian and a-Yuan's frames, drawing them both into his lap and holding them as close as he can.

Closing his eyes, Lan Wangji prays all the gods up in the Heavens and all his ancestors that his arrays work and no one is able to find them.

(tbc)

The dark eyelashes quiver and the silver eyes slowly open, meeting the low wooden ceiling illuminated by the soft light of candles and lanterns.

Wei Wuxian's mind is still somewhere between dreams and reality.

He had a /very/ bad dream. He thinks that is what woke him in the

first place because his body feels extremely tired and he's sure if not for the dream, or the nightmare more precisely, he'd continue sleeping.

In his dream, everyone died. Well, everyone always dies in his dreams. But this felt way too real. He was there, watching it all

unfold. Unable to even lift a finger. So helpless that the aftertaste of his nightmare had sprouted its roots deep into his heart.

Luckily, it was just a dream.

He sits up a bit too fast, his eyesight plunging him into the darkness for a while.

"Careful, Wei-gonzi," there is a voice next to him and a hand squeezes his shoulder offering support.

The voice is strangely familiar. His eyes search for the speaker and finally meet a very dark molten gold.

"Zewu-jun?" he asks in surprise, his voice comes out raspy – his

throat is dry as if he hadn't had water for days.

He watches the man pour water into a cup and then offer it to him. Wei Wuxian gladly accepts it, letting the liquid pleasantly go down his throat and soothe the dryness.

"Where am I?" Wei Wuxian asks rubbing his eyes – his eyesight is still a bit foggy.

"In the Cloud Recesses," Lan Xichen answers. His tone is very soft and sympathetic as if he's speaking to a scared child or someone who has lost...

The little cup falls out of Wei Wuxian's

hand and smashes against the floor. He stares at the man sitting on the edge of his bed with his silvered eyes wide and wild.

"It wasn't a dream," he speaks, his voice nothing but a whisper.

"I'm afraid not," Lan Xichen confirms what Wei Wuxian was hoping wouldn't be true.

The smell of burning flesh emerges from his memory and Wei Wuxian feels like he will vomit.

"They're dead," he whispers in horror. "All of them."

"Breathe, Wei-gonzi," Zewu-jun's hand is on his shoulder again.

How could he breathe? How could he breathe when those he cared

about didn't? What right did he have to breathe?

His eyes fall down to his hands, helplessly crossed in his lap. The sense of grief that had just begun to sweep over him stops as he discovers something else.

A white jade bracelet, so tightly bound around his wrist that there

is no way to get it off or even move around. It is almost fused to his skin. He can feel the spiritual energy humming in it and he suddenly feels even sicker.

"Wei-gonzi," Lan Xichen begins, his voice worried. "It's..."

Wei Wuxian raises his eyes and meets Xichen's. The pain in

the silver gaze is diluted by hate and disgust.

Lan Xichen expects Wei Wuxian to flip out but instead, he just smirks darkly.

"So," he finally says, his voice cold as the bodies that lie in their grave now. "He dragged me all the way to Gusu just to make me his prisoner."

"Wei-gonzi," Lan Xichen's brow turns into a frown. "He'll explain everything once he..."

A small laugh escapes Wei Wuxian's lips but it's bitter and holds no amusement.

"I suppose I know exactly where in the Cloud Recesses I am," he continues, staring at the bracelet and the

faint characters carved into it.

"Gentian House, isn't it?"

Lan Xichen doesn't answer. Wei Wuxian already knows.

Wei Wuxian tries to summon the resentful energy in his fingers, but the bracelet comes to life and a small whimper escapes his lips. It hurts. What a little pretty

Lan torture device. Not only blocking the resentful energy in him but also causing pain when he tries to fight it.

"Wei-gonzi, Wangji will explain everything when he's...back."

The silver eyes are still set on the bracelet as his long fingers travel along its shape.

"No need," he finally says. "I never want to see him again."

Lan Xichen flinches at his words.

"Wei-gonzi," he begins but immediately grows quiet when the silver eyes finally look up – what Lan Xichen sees in them makes his blood freeze.

"Get lost," Wei Wuxian growls, his

eyes returning to the bracelet. "I don't want to see any of you Lans. Leave."

Zewu-jun opens his mouth to say something but realising that no words could reach Wei Wuxian's tormented heart right now, he closes it again and stands up. Unwilling he walks towards the door.

Lan Xichen slides it open but turns around at the last moment.

"Wei-gonzi," he speaks without hesitance. "Wangji cares about you. Deeply. He wants the best for you. Do not hate him for it."

But Wei Wuxian snorts at his words and doesn't even spare him a glare.

Zewu-jun slides the door closed and Yiling Laozu is finally left alone. In the very same prison that once held Lan Zhan's mother.

The history indeed had a tendency to repeat itself.

//🛑 cw: heavy angst, blood, self-harm//

He kicks the blankets aside and places his legs on the floor. He needs to get out of bed. Out of its warmth. He didn't deserve comfort.

The wooden floor is cold under his feet as he stands up. His legs are shaky from not being used for

a while. But he stands. He forces himself to stand even though what he wants is to fall down, hit his head against something sharp and hope it splits his skull in two.

What he wants is to see himself bleed, his life slowly fading away. Just like the lives of those he did not

manage to protect.

He makes a few shaky steps across the room. But his legs are weak, he hasn't eaten and he is being held together by just a thread that will snap any moment now.

His body gives out from all the tension and Wei Wuxian falls to the floor on all four.

His loose and messy hair darken his eyesight like a black curtain. Perhaps, that's what he deserved. Eternal darkness. And damnation.

With Zewu-jun gone, Wei Wuxian has no reason to hold on anymore. The tears come first. They slide down his cheeks quietly and instead

of eventually drying up, they keep increasing in volume – a dam that has been broken and now the unstoppable river is ready to destroy everything in its way.

Wei Wuxian shakes violently, still fighting, still trying to hold back. But he's breaking. Bit by bit. Like a dry twig

under someone's feet.

He is a failure. He's been a failure all his life. But even more now.

He couldn't protect them. He couldn't save them. First Jiangs, now Wens. All he did was in vain. He was a useless and coreless piece of shit, undeserving of the warm breath in his chest.

Wei Wuxian tries to straighten, but the heaviness in his chest draws him to the floor. So, he remains on all four like the miserable and shitty dog that he is.

The pain is slowly tearing him apart, feasting on his bones and his insides and he knows that death is a mercy he

he does not deserve right now. He deserves to suffer. He deserves this pain and more. He deserves to be punished for every single failure in his life.

Yiling Laozu. Nothing but a useless degenerate. Not even strong enough to protect those he cares about.

His nails dig into the floorboards, he feels splinters drawing blood as he drags them along the wooden surface. Pain is good. Bleeding is good. He deserves this.

He's cold now. Every little cell in his body is freezing. Good. No comfort for someone like him.

Wei Wuxian manages to straighten a bit. Enough to sit back on his heels, but not enough to get up from the floor.

But that's okay. He'll sleep on the floor. He'll remain on the floor and die there. He didn't deserve warmth or a soft bed while they all were lying in ashes.

He should have burned with them. Perished together.

He hates Lan Zhan. Hates him so much. Not for the bracelet. Not yet. His mind is too consumed by grief to think of any future consequences of his confinement. Right now there was no future. Right now there was only pain.

No. He hates Lan Zhan for saving his life. For keeping him alive. For bringing him here.

The silver eyes travel down to the bracelet and he touches it again with his shaking and bleeding fingers. He tenses as he tries to awaken the resentful energy in him. Ripples of pain echo

through his body and he relishes it.
He needs to hurt himself right now. As much as possible.

The quiet tears do not stop and Wei Wuxian suddenly feels like he's choking. His throat contracting until a sob breaks free from his lips. He tenses, trying to hold the next one in.

His hands clenched into fists, his bloody fingernails digging into the soft skin of his palms drawing even more blood.

Another sob. And then another. Getting louder each time, echoing strangely in the emptiness around him. And soon they turn into full-blown cries. He no longer

cares who hears them. He no longer cares to hold back.

The last bits of his heart crumble to dust. The last resistance breaks. Something stirs in his chest. Something worse than sickness. It slowly travels up breaking his ribs, tearing apart everything where his heart should be.

And then it finally forces itself out. A loud pained howl, echoing not just through the empty Gentian House but also the whole of the Cloud Recesses.

It reaches even Jingshi where Lan Zhan lies on his bed, bloody bandages wrapped around his torso. The nine lashes of the

discipline whip now seem like nothing compared to the howls reaching his ears. He tries to drag his wounded body up but it refuses to obey, tears of helplessness streaming down from the golden eyes. All he can do is listen.

That night no one sleeps in the Cloud Recesses as the heart-wrenching howls of Yiling Laozu echo throughout. Dripping into every living space, every empty corner. Until they finally stop and are replaced by a heavy silence.

(tbc)

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It was hard to tell how much time had passed. Weeks? Maybe months? All the days and nights had melted together in Wei Wuxian's feverish mind. Time was of no importance anymore.

He was locked up anyway. Well, not exactly. They were saying that he is allowed to leave the house but

not the Cloud Recesses. He could wander around but to what point? Scare the shit out of Lan disciples when they see Yiling Laozu casually stroll by the Library Pavillion?

His old himself might have enjoyed that. But the man...or whatever he was now – would not. He didn't

care about anything outside those four walls he now was living in. The Cloud Recesses could be burning down to the ground right now and he wouldn't even flinch.

He was not allowed to see a-Yuan. Lan Qiren had come and assured him of the boy's safety before Wei Wuxian told him

to fuck right off.

Thankfully, Lan Wangji had been absent. Perhaps, that traitorous bastard was too scared to show his face. Perhaps, he was even ashamed of what he had done.

The whole world was against Yiling Laozu. Everyone desired either his downfall or his power. Wei Wuxian

had thought that maybe one person didn't think that way. Maybe he still had one friend left.

But this friend had taken away everything, locked him up and left him here to rot away.

Whatever grief Wei Wuxian was going through, it was Lan Zhan's betrayal that hurt the most.

---

Wei Wuxian sits on the floor by the bed hugging his knees and staring into nothingness when he hears the door slide open. His silver eyes look up and meet the gold.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji makes a step forward seeing the state Wei Wuxian is in, but is stopped by the dark

smile on Yiling Laozu's lips.

"There he is," Wei Wuxian speaks slowly, his voice tired. "My captor. Mighty Hanguang-Jun. I was wondering when will you show up."

Lan Wangji's eyes slide over the man. They had told him that Wei Ying was refusing to eat proper meals. He was

clearly malnourished and weak. And he looked like he hadn't slept for ages – his silver eyes red and glazed. There was strange hollowness in them. As if all the life has been sucked out of his soul.

"Are you happy with what you have done?" Wei Wuxian asks cocking his head to

one side.

Lan Wangji's already broken heart cracks a little bit more seeing Wei Ying like this.

However, Wangji is not prepared for what happens next. Wei Wuxian is up in a blink of an eye. He sweeps across the room and grabs Lan Zhan's robes,

pushing him against the closest wall.

A muffled whimper of pain escapes Lan Wangji's lips as his injured back braces the impact.

Wei Wuxian's one hand is still holding his collar while the other wraps slowly around Wangji's throat. He tightens his fingers, but his grip is too

weak to actually cause any damage.

"I should kill you," Wei Wuxian says, his hollow eyes slowly pooling with hate. "Watch your life fade away."

"Wei Ying..."

But Wei Wuxian doesn't let him finish. With his fingers still tightly around Lan Zhan's neck he kisses him – roughly,

shoving his tongue down Wangji's throat.

Wei Wuxian presses against Lan Wangji with all his body. Even in his hate every bone, every cell of his wants Lan Zhan. Every part of him desires the man who has imprisoned him.

His lips travel down to Wangji's neck and he can feel the

mighty Hanguang-Jun shiver and blush.

"Wei Ying, no," Wangji tries his best to push him away, but his own body is betraying him – wanting it just as much.

"Why not?" Wei Wuxian whispers against his neck. "Isn't that what you want? Isn't it

why I'm here? Your little war prize. Your trophy."

Whatever desire had awakened in Lan Wangji, quickly dies. Instead, his heart fills with pain. He takes Wei Wuxian by his shoulders and pulls him away from himself.

"Lan Wangji," Wei Wuxian smirks, his eyes two dark pools of hate.

"There was a reason you brought me here. The reason you put this on me."

He waves the white jade bracelet before Wangji's golden eyes.

"I am yours," Wei Wuxian continues, the bitterness in his voice seeping

through each word that leaves his lips. "You can do whatever you want with me. You already have done so much. Taken so much."

"Stop," Lan Wangji closes his eyes unable to look into that haunted silver any longer.

"Why?" Wei Wuxian presses against him harder, his breath now on

Wangji's face. "You took my power. My life. A-Yuan. Even all my firsts. Your lips were the first ones, your hands..."

Wei Wuxian's fingers wrap around Lan Wangji's wrists and he guides the strong arms down to his ass.

"Why not take more?" Wei Wuxian whispers in his ear,

his lips brushing against the blushing earlobe. "Why not take the last broken bits and be done with it? Destroy me completely. Isn't that what you want?"

"No," Wangji finally finds his voice and strength and he pushes Wei Wuxian away from him. "No, Wei Ying. I don't want

it. I care about you."

There's a whole whirl on emotions in Wei Wuxian's eyes as they keep staring at Lan Wangji for a very long time. Until they finally settle for defeat.

With a heavy thud he falls down on his knees in front of Lan Zhan. His silver eyes close and a single

tear glides down his cheek.

"Then, if you really care about me," he whispers. "Kill me. Please."

Wangji isn't sure what scares him more. Wei Ying's hate or seeing him like this – weak and defeated.

Lan Zhan gently cups Wei Wuxian's cheek and the other man leans in his touch,

his eyes still closed.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji begins but he finds no words in his heart.

"You should have left me to die, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian speaks, more tears drop down from his closed eyelids.

Lan Wangji cannot take this hurt any longer. He drags Wei Wuxian up from

the floor and draws him in his arms so tight that he almost crushes the man's bones.

There's no resistance from Wei Wuxian. He doesn't answer to Wangji's hug, his arms helplessly hanging down his hips.

But Lan Wangji still holds him. Close. His face hidden in Wei Ying's

hair, quiet tears filling his golden eyes.

"Wei Ying, please," he whispers, his voice trembling. "Hate me. Despise me if you wish. Just...don't fade. Stay alive. For me. Please. Please, don't die. I love you."

He suddenly feels like that little boy who knelt outside this very

same house all those years ago, waiting for his mother to show up. He couldn't understand that his mother had faded away.

And the thought that Wei Ying could fade just the same way, that this house would kill him the same way, was tearing Lan Zhan apart.

He wanted to scream. To tell Wei Ying that it wasn't his fault. That he never wanted this. Tell him that he never thought his uncle would do this. That one of those nine lashes on his back was because he refused to put that damned bracelet on Wei Ying.

But what would be the point?

He had hurt Wei Ying and nothing would make up for it. No excuse would ever be enough.

"Get lost," Wei Wuxian says tiredly.

"Wei Ying."

"Get lost, Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji lets go of him reluctantly, afraid that Wei Ying will fall if not supported.

But he doesn't. Wei Wuxian stands, his eyes set on the wall behind Wangji's shoulder. His face is a blank page, devoid of any emotion.

"Get lost," this time it's nothing but a whisper.

Wangji swallows his tears and with heavy but slightly unsteady footsteps leaves

the Gentian House, and everything plunges into deep silence again.

Wei Wuxian remains standing and staring at the wall with unseeing eyes and an unfeeling heart.

(tbc)

//Damn. This was difficult to write. Good news. The major angst is over.

Wei Wuxian lies in the middle of the room on the hardwood floor, his silver eyes watching a little ant running back and forth – trying to find its way without falling into the crack between the floorboards.

But no matter which direction it goes, there is no way to cross safely.

Silly little ant. Did it not realize that it was now trapped here forever, without a bridge to cross? A prisoner in this house just like himself?

He felt a sudden wave of affection for this little ant. Perhaps, he should kill it, so at least one of them would be put out of

their misery.

He could get up, pick the little insect up and carry it outside. But he lacked the strength to get up. The floor was good. His body had gotten used to it by now. But at this point, he could probably sleep on nails and he'd still feel nothing.

Wei Wuxian's black pupils follow the little ant's desperate tries to escape until his eyelids become heavy.

Maybe he could finally get some sleep. Not that he deserves it. But maybe just for a little bit. He is so, so very tired. Tired of the nightmares and the thoughts

constantly buzzing like angry bees in his head. Just a few moments of rest...

The silver eyes close and a long sigh escapes his lips. He curls up in the hope to warm himself a bit. Just a little bit of rest...

Warm fingers land in his hair and begin to stroke soothingly.

Oh, maybe he finally has a nice dream for a change.

"A-Xian," a soft voice reaches his sleepy brain and he smiles – still with his eyes closed.

Shijie. He is dreaming about Shijie.

"A-Xian?" this time the voice is louder and somewhat worried.

He doesn't' want to open his

eyes. He knows that if he does, she will be gone. And he will be alone in his prison again.

He and the little ant, stuck in this damned house until their final hour. Maybe if he could find something to kill himself with...

"A-Xian!" the voice is so persistent that he finally

gives up and opens his eyes tiredly.

A concerned face floats above him. Two olive-coloured eyes filled with gentleness and love.

Oh great. He wasn't dreaming. He was hallucinating. Then, of course, it could be expected considering the state he was in. At least it was

a nice hallucination.

But would his hallucination look this concerned?

"A-Xian, it's me," the woman's lips move again and she cups his face.

No, this feels real. Wei Wuxian scrambles on the floor enough to sit up. It takes everything he has but he does manage.

"Shijie?" a choked whisper leaves his lips. "What are you..."

Jin Yanli shifts and extends her hand to move the dark strands away from Wei Wuxian's face but he draws back, avoiding her touch.

"A-Xian," she crosses her hands in her lap, her eyes measuring his state. She had

never seen her brother like this before and it is breaking her heart.

He is skin and bones, dark circles under his eyes, his face much narrower. The silver eyes – always smiling – now lifeless.

Wei Wuxian blinks several times, hoping to chase away the fog of tiredness.

He looks at his sister sitting on the floor in her clean yellow Jin robes.

"Shijie!" he suddenly grabs her elbows. "The floor is dirty!"

Wei Wuxian tries to lift her up but midway nearly collapses back on the floor himself.

Yanli's arms wrap around him and help him to get on

on his feet instead. Some other time her fragile frame would bend under his heaviness but not now. Her little brother is much lighter than she remembered.

Wei Wuxian is being gently guided towards the bed and when he realises it, he begins to protest.

"No, no, not the bed," he shakes his head forcing them both to stop midway.

"Why not?"

"It's...comfortable."

He realises how stupid he sounds. But he cannot help it.

"A-Xian, you're being silly," she points out and drags him forward.

When did Shijie become so strong?

Yanli finally sits Wei Wuxian down on the edge of the bed and takes her place next to him.

"Shijie, what are you doing here?" Wei Wuxian asks after a long moment of silence — his eyes avoiding hers.

Yanli smooths back his disheveled hair with great care.

"I came to see my little brother," she answers. "I missed you, a-Xian."

Wei Wuxian keeps staring at the floor while breaking his fingers.

"Shijie, I'm sorry," he whispers and takes a deep breath before more jumbled-up words pour out. "On Qiongqi Path. Jin Zixuan...I nearly

killed your husband. I nearly destroyed your family, a-Li."

"A-Xian, look at me, please," Yanli's voice is determined. Her soft hands frame Wei Wuxian's face, forcing him to look at her.

"It wasn't your fault, a-Xian," she says, her tone leaving no room for discussion. "It was

Jin Zixun. He provoked you. He attacked you. And he's punished for it. None of it was your fault."

Wei Wuxian had thought that he had no tears left after all this time. But here they were again – streaming down his face with revenge.

"And you saved his life almost dying yourself," she added. "I have nothing to forgive you."

She draws Wei Wuxian in her arms and holds him tight.

"My sweet little a-Xian," she says softly. "Nothing of what happened was your fault. Neither the fall of Lotus Pier nor

this. You did your best and you followed your heart. We never know whether we make the right choice until we do. And sometimes the only choices that we have are bad ones. Yet, we still have to choose."

Hearing these words spoken breaks something in Wei Wuxian. Something