@anaphoricae: AU where WWX is in his College...

AU where WWX is in his College Ho days, going on hookup after hookup and like. He knows apps aren't always safe. Sometimes you're going to a stranger's house at 2am and you haven't even seen a picture of his face yet. So usually he sends his location to Huaisang, just to be safe.

And most of the times, it's fine. He sends Huaisang a text with his location and goes to his hookups' house. Huaisang sees when he leaves, where he is, when he gets home, it's fine. It works.

Until one day, Huaisang doesn't get the message right away.

WWX waits for a few minutes, but the text just isn't going through. And usually he wouldnt think twice about it, he'll get it when he gets it, but for some reason he's feeling insecure today.
So he stars going through his friendlist to see who else he can share his location with.

Wen Qing? No. It's 2am and she keeps her sound on in case there are emergencies. WWX isn't supposed to bother her this late.
Jiang Cheng? No way. Pass.
Wen Ning is too much of a cinnamon roll for him to even think about it, so no hope there.

JieJie? Maybe. WWX considers it for a minute, knowing his sister would understand and be fine with it. But he'd rather not have her knowing about his sex life, thank you very much.

His fingers go down his friend list, finding the only name he hasn't considered yet.

Lan Zhan.

WWX's gut reaction is to not want to send it at all. He doesn't know why, though. Lan Zhan is his friend. His best friend! And he probably does this too, right? They never talk about their sex life with each other, but he would understand it if he saw it, right?

Plus, it's 2 am. LWJ is surely already sleeping. If WWX sends his location to him and comes back home before 5am, he can delete the text and act like it never happened.
He doesn't even have to know.

(WHY he doesn't want LWJ to know is NOT something WWX is gonna unpack right now)

It's the perfect plan.
WWX gets in the uber and sends LWJ his location.

His phone immediately starts buzzing with a call.

WWX picks it up on the third ring, bracing himself to hear his voice.

"Wei Ying?"
WWX almost chokes on his own saliva. LWJ's voice is groggy with sleep, low and hoarse, and he doesn't know what to do about the way his body responds to it.
"Hey, Lan Zhan..."

"What happened? Are you in trouble?"
"No, I'm okay! I didn't know you'd be awake. Please go back to sleep!"
"Why did you send me your location?"

Oh no. LWJ's voice is sounding more and more awake with every sentence. WWX really fucked it up, as always.

"I just needed someone to have it! Don't worry, I'm okay. Just go back to sleep."
"You don't sound okay," LWJ says. "Do you need me to call the police?"
WWX's eyes go wide. Fuck. "No, no police. I'm fine! I'm just going somewhere."
"Where are you? I'm coming right now."

Fuck.

He's gonna have to say it, isn't he? Please don't make him say it.
"Listen, Lan Zhan, you don't have to come. I'm going to someone's house. I'll be back in... 3 hours?"
"Wei Ying, it's 2 am."
"I know, and I'll text you when I get back. Don't worry."
"Whose house is it?" LWJ asks.

WWX bites his lips before answering. "Just... This guy."

The silence on the other end lasts for way longer than Wei Ying anticipated.

"Oh," LWJ says, after what feels like eternity.

"So... yeah. I'm okay. I's just a safety measure, you know, just in case. But I'll be fine! I always send my location to Huaisang when I do this, and nothing ever happened. He's not answering today though, so I thought..."

"Always?" LWJ's voice sounds tiny over the phone.

"Not that-- I don't- It's not that I do this often," he lies.
He can hear Lan Zhan's breathing throgh he phone. Why is he making excuses for it, anyway? He enjoys having sex. There's nothing wrong with that.
Still, the dip in Lan Zhan's voice feels like it's going to haunt him.

"We're here," the driver says. WWX almost jumps from his seat.
"Lan Zhan..." he trails off.
"It's fine. You should go."
"I'll call you when I get home, okay?"
"Wei Ying, it's fine. I'm... sorry I overreacted."

"No," Wei Ying grabs the phone tighter. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I thought your phone would be on silent."
"Not for you," Lan Zhan says.
Wei Ying closes his eyes.
"Go back to sleep."
"Mn."

They hang up the phone, and WWX wonders if he's even in the mood for going up anymore.

But he's already here. He paid for the drive. He goes up anyway.
WWX tries really hard being good company, but the truth is, he can't keep his mind off of LWJ the entire time.
The guy he's seeing tries putting up with it, but it comes to a point where he can't.
WWX goes home.

He does what he always does when he doesn't want to think about what he's feeling.
He drinks until he doesn't feel it anymore.

WWX falls asleep on top of his phone, and wakes up next morning with a bad taste in his mouth and a sense of dread in his guts.

He realizes, desperately, that he forgot to send LWJ a message telling him that he got home. He turns on his phone and sees a text already waiting for him, from LWJ himself.

5:17 am LWJ: Alright.

WWX frowns, and clicks the conversation.

There are a few audios he sent LWJ while he was drunk. WWX's heart stops beating when he sees it. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he doesn't remember sending them at all!
He clicks them, already knowing there's no way this can be good.

"I'm hoooome!" he hears himself saying. "Actually I've been home for... hmmm an hour? My hookup was ruined. Ruineeed. Did you hear that, Lan Zhan?"
He pauses, and there's a sound of something falling on the floor.
"Why did you have to be ssso worried about it? You made me-

get worried, too. And then I felt guilty. Because you were worried. Not for anything else, you know, because I don't feel guilty about this. I don't."
There's a hiccup. And then more things falling.
"Why wouldn't I send you my location? We're friends. Aren't we? Friends friends-

friends friends. For years. Don't you ever have hot dates? You should send me your location too Lan Zhan, you know how dangerous it can be. Are you just going on dates without telling anyone? Nooo. That's dangerous. Let's make a pact. We're FRIENDS. It's what friends do.

promise me you're being s- safe. safe is important. Next time you go out, text me. Do it. We have to be here for each other Lan Zhannn. This is fine. This is what friends would do. And that's what we are. So promise me. Promise me."

That's where the audios end.

Wei Ying looks at Lan Zhan's dry response again, and buries his face in his hands.

Fuck.

What did he do?

He calls Lan Zhan right away.

"Wei Ying," he picks up on the 2nd ring.
"Lan Zhan, I'm so sorry about yesterday. All of those messages, listen, don't feel guilty about being worried, you had every right to be worried, you had no idea what was going on, and I-"
"Wei Ying. You were right."
WWX freezes.
"What?"

"You were right," Lan Zhan repeats, but there's something weird about his voice. Something distant. "This is safer."
"Yeah, but I should've warned you. I mean, I would be super worried too, if I got a text like that and didn't know what was going on."
"Don't worry about it."

WWX hesitates. "What, seriously? You're not upset with me?"
"There is nothing to be upset about," LWJ says. "We are... friends. You texted me to be safe."
WWX wants to believe the words he's saying, but something about it feels wrong.

"Lan Zhan, are you sure?"
"Mn," LWJ says. His voice doesn't sound... harsh, it still sounds warm, in his way. But... "You should go back to sleep. You still sound hungover."
"Yeah," WWX agrees. His head IS spinning like crazy. "Maybe that's what it is."
"We'll talk later."

"Lan Zhan," WWX says, just because he needs to make sure. "Are we really okay?"
Lan Zhan's response comes so low WWX almost doesn't hear it.
"We're always okay," he says.
It soothes a bit of the worry in WWX's heart.
He hangs up the phone and goes back to sleep.

Life goes on as usual. WWX puts the events of that night to rest in his mind, and the next time he sees Lan Zhan, everything /feels/ the same between them. He still teases LWJ as much as he can, and LWJ still pretends to be annoyed by it, as he always does, even as he smiles.

Their dynamics are the same, perfect, balanced, as they've always been. They meet when they need to study because they somehow always work better together, and Wei Ying almost forgets about what happened that night entirely.

The next time he has a hookup, he sends the location to Huaisang, and everything is alright with the world again.
Lan Zhan is still his best friend.
Everything is fine.

And then, one day. WWX receives a text at 10 pm.
It's from LWJ.
Sharing his location.

At first, the text is so weird WWX doesn't even know what's going on. It's 10 pm. Why is Lan Zhan still awake?
He sends him a quick text in return. It says only "?????"

LWJ texts back right away.
"I apologize. I didn't know who else to share it with. But you told me to be safe."

And then, WWX understands™.

And his heart drops.

Is Lan Zhan... Going out, to...?
It can't be. He's never heard of LWJ doing this before. He's sure LWJ has his experiences, sometimes, but surely he's above the casual hookups with strangers.

Surely there is no shortage of people LWJ knows who are lining up to have sex with him. He doesn't have to meet strangers.
This is a mistake, isn't it?

WWX texts him.
WWX: Where are you going?
LWJ: Someone's house.
WWX: What for...?
LWJ: Wei Ying.

WWX almost drops his phone.

Because he's a good friend, and because he doesn't want to send him a random row of letters when he eventually loses his grip on reality, WWX manages to text back a casual "Ok, text me when you're home."

And then WWX shoves his phone away.

WWX tries breathing, but it feels like there's no air left in his room. He goes to the window, but the fresh air does nothing to calm him down. Why is he hyperventilating? This is fine. Lan Zhan is being safe. This is a good thing.

He grabs his phone back and texts Huaisang.

WWX: I can't breathe

HS: whats going on

WWX: lan zhan just sent me his location
you know, to be safe
like I do with you

HS: seriously?
how do you know that's what it's for?

WWX: he told me

HS: what????
that's mean
I had no idea Lan Zhan fucked

WWX: I mean, why wouldn't he? he's gorgeous and hot and a good person and so so sexy so why WOULDN'T he fuck
wait.
what do you mean "that's mean"?

HS: you know
sending his location to YOU of all people

WWX: I'm his best friend

HS: lmao

WWX: I am??
why are you laughing?

HS: ok, so if you're his best friend then why can't you breathe?

WWX: I'm just
surprised
I didn't think he'd be the type to go out on hookups like this
I'm so worried for him

HS: worried.

WWX: it could be anyone! I think this is his first time doing this
what if it goes wrong?

HS: is that all you're worried about?

WWX: yeah, I mean
what if something bad happens?

HS: so if nothing bad happens, you won't feel bad anymore?

WWX: of course not
why would I feel bad if everything goes well for him?

HS: right
wait for him to get home, then
just to be sure

WWX thinks that sounds reasonable enough. The dread he's feeling will surely go away once LWJ is home, and safe again. He only has to wait.
He takes a look at the time on his phone. 10:43 pm. Whatever Lan Zhan is doing, it shouldn't last over 3 hours, right?

He can stay awake and wait. He can make sure LWJ makes it home safe before going to bed. It's fine.

WWX turns on a mindless TV show to watch, and tries to pretend like he isn't just sitting there, waiting for his phone to buzz.

It's almost 4 am when he gets the text back from LWJ saying he's home.
But WWX is too anxious to take a simple text. He calls.
"Hey, Lan Zhan!" he says as soon as LWJ picks up the phone.
"Wei Ying. Is everything alright?"
"I should be the one asking that" he says. "It's so late."

"Oh. Did I wake you up?"
"No, nothing like that. It's just... I was worried. I didn't think it would take this long."
LWJ takes a while before answering.
"Is there usually a time limit, on things like this?"
WWX curses himself under his breath. "No, of course not."

"It's just..." WWX hesitates. "Well, I don't know. I was just worried. Since it's your first time doing something like this, and it can be kinda dangerous."
On the other end, LWJ is silent.
"Lan Zhan? Am I being annoying?"
"Never," LWJ sighs. "I shouldn't worry you again."

WWX's heart drops. Because knowing about this made him worry, but somehow, not knowing about it sounds so, so much worse.
"Ay, don't be like that," he says, trying to put laughter in his voice. "It's what I'm here for. We should be there for each other. If you want, I could..."

WWX rubs his head, trying to think of a way to be a supportive friend. "I could give you tips on safety? Like always using sn@pchat for pictures. I mean, you're new at this whole app hookup thing, right? You should always-"
"I'm not new at it" LWJ says.
WWX's blood turns to ice.

"What?" WWX asks, hating how small his voice sounds.
"I just never thought to send anyone my location before," LWJ says. Slowly. Almost as if he doesn't want to say it at all.

WWX stays silent. For what feels like forever, all they can hear is each other's breathing.

"It's..." WWX clears his throat. "It's safer if you do."
"It was a mistake" LWJ murmurs. "I won't send it again."
"Lan Zhan, don't... Don't say that. I was just worried, that's all." WWX's throat feels raw. Fuck. "But now I know you're safe, and it makes me feel better."
"Wei Y-"

"What are you even saying? You've been going to strange men's houses all this time and no one even knew where you were?"
WWX thinks about LWJ, alone at night, knocking on a door from a man that hasn't even revealed his face because he wants "discretion".
It makes him want to cry.

WWX takes a deep breath, and controls the tremble in his voice.
"I can't have that," he says. "You can always text me. Ok?"
On the other side, he thinks he hears LWJ inhaling, sighing, sniffling, /something/. Anything except for the silence he gets.
But it's just in his own head.

"Okay," Lan Zhan says, voice low. "If that's really what you want."
"I want you to be safe," WWX says. "And happy."
"I want the same for you, Wei Ying," LWJ says. "Always."
"That's it, then," WWX forces a smile. "We'll be each other's safety net. Deal?"
"... Deal."

Wei Ying hangs up the phone and nods to himself. This is good. Lan Zhan will be safer, now. He'll have time to help, if anything happens.

He goes to sleep, and doesn't think about how knowing that doesn't make him feel better at all.

_

For the longest time, nothing happens.
They see each other in person a few times, and even though it feels slightly more awkward, it's still them. Wei Ying's day is still made better whenever Lan Zhan is near, and he's still obsessed with making LWJ smile as much as he can.

True to his word, WWX starts sending LWJ his location, instead of NHS. It still makes him feel bad every time he does, but its precisely because of that discomfort that he feels like he needs to get over it. Why is he embarrassed because of this, anyway? Clearly, LWJ does it too.

And oh... LWJ does it a LOT.

WWX thought he went out too much, when his hookups happened two to three times a month.
LWJ goes out every. single. week.

It's always a different guy, and it varies greatly in time. Sometimes, LWJ spends 1 hour wherever he's going. Sometimes, it's 5.
WWX tries not to pay attention to it.
He fails.

It brings WWX a weird sense of satisfaction, to see that LWJ never goes out twice with the same person. It's bad, he knows it's bad, but it's how he feels.
It's just that, no one is good enough for LWJ. He's too perfect to get stuck with just any guy he meets on an app.

WWX gets kinda used to getting the text on his phone, like clockwork, every friday night. Even for this, LWJ is well planned and scheduled. It's endearing, really. WWX could almost say he's glad that LWJ is having fun.
Almost.

Until.

WWX gets a text, and out of habit, he looks at it. The address seems a little familiar. But it's probably just in his mind.
He doesn't think anything of it.

Next week, again, he gets the same text. This time, the address is definitely the same.
WWX checks the previous ones just to make sure, until there's no doubt in his mind.

Lan Zhan is seeing the same guy for the third time in a row.

"This is stalking," he thinks to himself as he locks his phone. There's a line between being a supportive friend and being obsessive, and he will not cross it. It's fine! Lan Zhan found a regular fuck. Good for him.
Good for him.

Wei Ying is not at all bothered by it.

Except for the fact that he is very much bothered about it.
It makes no sense. This is safer for LWJ. A person he knows, and who isn't a murderer in disguise. A person he liked enough to see more than once.

WWX closes his eyes. A person LWJ liked enough... to see more than once.

Why does it feels so wrong? Even thinking about it makes WWX feel sick to his stomach.
Someone Lan Zhan liked and wants to keep seeing. Someone he liked..

And it isn't Wei Ying at all.

WWX grips the table in front of him and breathes. He's so, so stupid. How can he be so blind?

He spends the week hiding under his blanket. He answers just enough messages so people will leave him alone, and allows himself the entire week to just... drown in his own sorrow.
When friday comes, he feels like his stomach is sinking.
Any minute now, he'll get a text from LWJ.

The address will probably be the same. And that will be all the confirmation he needs.
WWX braces himself for the buzzing of his phone, staring at it with tears in his eyes.

It never comes.

Wei Ying starts crying again, letting all the tears he held back flow freely.
Not getting a text can only mean two things.
Either Lan Zhan is comfortable enough with this man now that he doesn't need WWX to feel safe anymore... Or...
The man is on his way to LWJ's dorm right now.

Both options are equally heartbreaking. Both options mean LWJ is ready for the relationship to become something more.

WWX breathes in, allowing himself one more second to feel sorry for his own situation.

And then, Wei Ying hears a knock on his door.

WWX brushes his teeth and makes himself presentable as fast as he can. There's nothing he can do about his red eyes. If anyone asks, he'll just say he was smoking.
There's also nothing he can do about the mess in his house. He shrugs to himself and opens the door.

"Wei Ying."

Lan Zhan is standing in his doorway, looking just as gorgeous as he does in WWX's dreams, holding a bag of something steeming and smelling delicious.

"Lan Zhan," WWX says. "What are you doing here? I thought-"
"You were punctuating your texts," LWJ says. "So I brought soup."

WWX doesn't start crying again, but he nearly, nearly does.
"That's- I wasn't--"
"May I come in?"
WWX gestures for him to come inside, because there's little else he can do. How can he ever say no to LWJ?

LWJ rests the soup on the counter and they both sit on the couch.

"I'm fine, you know," WWX says.
LWJ looks at the blanket tossed over the couch, and then back at him.
"I really am. You shouldn't even be here."
"Why not?"
"Because." WWX makes a vague gesture. "Shouldn't you be somewhere else? Having fun?"
"This is exactly where I should be."

"Bullshit," WWX says. "That's bullshit, and you know it, Lan Zhan."
For a second, LWJ looks taken aback, but he composes himself quickly.
"Wei Ying," he says, in the low voice that somehow always manages to convince Wei Ying of anything. "Tell me what happened."

WWX lets out a low laugh.
"That's the problem, isn't it? I don't even know what happened" he feels the tears starting to build up in his eyes again, and tries blinking them away. "You didn't tell me."
"Tell you?"
"About your new boyfriend," WWX says.

"About the new guy you're seeing regularly. About the guy you would probably be seeing right now, if you didn't think I needed some kind of help."
He knows how bitter and unreasonable he sounds. Right now, he doesn't care.

He risks a glance in LWJ's direction, and sees that his eyes are wide.
"Wei Ying, I'm not dating anyone."
WWX shakes his head. Dating is probably not what LWJ would call it, but he knows LWJ better than he knows himself.

"Maybe dating isn't the right word, but... In your standards, you are," WWX says. "You don't even like hanging out with your friends, Lan Zhan. And you saw this guy, like, four times. Maybe more. What am I-" he chokes, and quickly controls himself. "What am I supposed to think?"

LWJ stares at him for too long before clenching his jaw. "And what am I supposed to think, when you text me someone's address in the middle of the night?"
"That's different."
"How?"
"That's part of our deal. To be each other's safety nets for one night stands. Not... dates."

"Wei Ying," LWJ closes his eyes. "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me."
WWX gets up from where he's sitting. He feels like he needs to move or he's gonna burst into pieces.
"I just don't feel like we need to talk about the people we're dating, thats all. It's weird."

"So I can tell you about one night stands" LWJ says slowly. "But not about someone I'm actually interested in."
WWX swallows. Hearing it like that makes him sound crazy. Maybe he is.
But just thinking about LWJ talking about a date makes him sick. He wouldnt be able to handle it.

"I don't want you to date anyone, ok?" he says. LWJ reacts like he's being punched, but WWX can't find it in himself to stop. "I don't want you to fall in love, because if you do, then that means you're actually open to falling in love, and I just wasn't good enough to fall for."

WWX allows himself one second to look at LWJ, to see the way his eyes go wide, to see the pretty way his lips drop.
And then, like a coward, he closes his eyes.

Because worse than LWJ seeing that he's about to cry all over again is having to see the moment LWJs eyes go from surprised to apologetic. From shocked to "I'm sorry I can't respond to your feelings". From angry to pitying, bc of course, WWX would never be good enough for him.

He registers movement in the back of his mind, but all his focus is going into breathing. Every ounce of strength he has is going into not falling apart right here. He knows LWJ is approaching. He knows LWJ is, above all, good. Of course he's not just gonna leave him here.

LWJ is gonna come to him, put a hand on his shoulder, maybe even hug him. He'll tell WWX that he is good enough, but that LWJ isn't good enough to fall for him. He'll rub soothing circles on his back. And he'll let WWX down easily.
And it will hurt worse than a slap to the face.

WWX feels two strong arms circling around him, and his heart sinks down to his stomach.
"Wei Ying," LWJ whispers, the low, murmured voice WWX so often dreams about. "I'm the one who's never going to be good enough for you."

WWX buries his head in LWJ's neck, inhaling him while he still can. LWJ hugs him a little tighter, his thumb carressing WWX's back slowly. It's the best feeling in the world. It's the worst feeling in the world.

WWX allows his tears to fall on LWJ's shoulder, and suppresses a bitter laugh. He knows LWJ so well, he even knows how he's going to get rejected.
Somehow, it hurts even worse than he thought it would.

"I only saw him a second time because he reminded me of you."

WWX freezes.

"But it was like seeing a shadow of you," LWJ says. "With nothing of your liveliness, of you color, of your smiles. Nothing of what makes me feel so... So-" LWJ lowers his voice even more, whispering against his ear. "So in love with you, Wei Ying. I am so in love with you."

Wei Ying forgets how to breathe. For a moment, everything in the world disappears, and narrows down to the single point of focus where LWJ's hot breath brushes against his ear.

Did he... Hear that correctly? Lan Zhan is in love with him?
He pulls back, but LWJ holds him close.

"Wei Ying, wait" his voice trembles, and WWX realizes with a start that LWJ is shaking under their embrace. "If you didn't mean it... Wait."

WWX holds him tighter, as tight as he can, and finally allows himself to relax.
"I meant every word of it, Lan Zhan."

WWX pulls back, and this time, LWJ allows him the space. He feels frozen in place, arms hooked around WWX, red eyes staring at him. Like he can't quite believe what he just heard. WWX feels the same way.

Before WWX can think twice about it, he leans in and takes LWJ in a kiss.

They're already as close as they can be, but somehow, WWX manages to squeeze himself closer. He tilts LWJ's chin in his direction, until he breaks from the spell he seems to be under, and accepts WWX with everything in him.

WWX curls his arm around LWJ's waist, pulling, like there's any way to connect their bodies further. LWJ doesn't complain, and tries to do the exact same to him.

When they part, WWX laughs, a loud, almost crazy laugh, that fills the entire place with sound.

"We're crazy for this," WWX says, and LWJ is smiling, too, just watching him. "How long have you known?"
"Years." LWJ says.
"Wow. I... didn't. I mean, I think I did, but I never... realized. I'm sorry."
"We're here now," LWJ says. "There's nothing to apologize for."

Wei Ying nods, and then gives him another kiss, just because he can.
"Lan Zhan, I love you so much," he says. "I think it's just a part of me, now. That's why I didn't notice it."
LWJ's eyes go all soft around the edges, and WWX kisses him again.

"I was so frustrated over you going on all those dates with that guy," WWX giggles. "And I had no idea why."
"Not dates," LWJ frowns. "I saw him twice. The third time was because I forgot my hairtie."
WWX narrows his eyes. "I'm supposed to believe you went back for a hairtie?"

"You gave it to me," LWJ points at his hair. WWX wants to cry, all over again.
"Listen, Lan Zhan. This means no more one night stands, ok?" WWX says. "You're mine now."
LWJ buries his head in his shoulder. "It was... hard. Seeing you. Imagining-"
"Don't imagine it," WWX cuts him.

"But," he says. "I mean, I have to admit. It was kinda hot. Seeing how wanted you are. And now, knowing it's all for me..."
LWJ's arms tighten around him, and WWX lets their bodies graze against each other, just a little. "What... What do you usually like?"

"Whatever you want," LWJ says. "Anything you want."
"Really?" WWX asks, the possibilities already running in his mind. "Anything?"
"Anything, anyway," LWJ kisses his neck, then the tip of his ear. "For you."
"Ay, Lan Zhan... You really shouldn't have said that."

"I mean it, Wei Ying."
WWX pushes him back until LWJ's knees hit the couch, and then keeps pushing, until he's lying on top of him. "Prove it."

_END_

YAYYYYYY I haven't written a threadfic this long in AGES, so I hope everyone liked it!!! (or else 😡 no just kidding LMAO)

ANYWAY IF YOU liked it, and you want to rt, here's the top!!
Thank you so much everyone who stayed around to read it! 🥰♥️♥️🥺🥺✨

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