@anaphoricae: I like oblivious Wei Wuxian as...

I like oblivious Wei Wuxian as much as the next person but please consider:

Wei Wuxian who catches onto Lan Wangji's love and devotion super quick and highkey thinks they're already boyfriends. LWJ is the only one who doesn't know it yet.

It makes sense in WWX's mind. LWJ is shy. He's not SUPER into physical contact. So that's why they haven't kissed yet. But LWJ definitely likes him. His eyes go all soft and gooey looking at him, and he's the only one LWJ ever pays attention to. Of course they're dating.

Meanwhile LWJ, ever the dramatic one in the couple, is sitting on the couch petting WWX's hair and thinking, "Why must Wei Ying be so free with me if he doesn't mean it. Oh to be able to have such an incredible man to myself. Oh to be able to tell him how my heart aches for him"

WWX would try really hard to go slow. Respect LWJ's space. He wants LWJ to be the first one to kiss him, just because. But LWJ never. does. anything.

WWX know he's into him. You know. Physically. LWJ isn't subtle about his looks, and the way his eyes linger on his body.

So why doesn't he DO something?

He would try to flirt hard, hug LWJ really close from behind, lean over his shoulder to "see what he's cooking" and get really close to his neck.

LWJ would just be thinking: Hm. It seems like Wei Ying found another way of torturing me today.

Everyone else treats them like boyfriends, and although Lan Zhan is very happy about it, he doesn't really understand why. Yes, they hold hands whenever they go out together. Yes, Wei Ying clings to his neck a NORMAL amount.
But that's... because he's handsy...? Nothing else...?

Another thing that kinda breaks the deal for LWJ.
WWX keeps... mentioning his boyfriend.
All. the. time.

On the phone with his sister, "I'm gonna try to bring my boyfriend," or speaking to Huaisang, "I'm gonna see what my boyfriend thinks about it..."

One day, Wei Ying tells Wen Qing he can't go out with her, because he's spending the day with his boyfriend, who's going through a hard time. He proceeds to spend the entire day sitting on the couch watching reruns of Brooklyn 99 while LWJ struggles to study for his next exam.

Lan Zhan just shrugs it off. Maybe Wei Ying just didn't want to go out, and used his boyfriend as en excuse. LWJ definitely understands wanting to spend the entire day home.

One day, Wei Ying comes up behind him while he's sitting at the bench, and gives him a tight hug. "Guess who," he says, not even covering Lan Zhan's eyes, and then bites the tip of his ear.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says, stuck between panicking and controlling his body's response.

"We can't do this," he says.
"Why not?"
"You have a boyfriend."
Wei Ying looks at him for a long time, and then throws his head back and laughs.
"Lan Zhan, you're hilarious."
"I mean it," Lan Zhan says. "What would he think?"

Wei Ying sits by his side on the bench and gives him a look that should definitely be forbidden in public.
"Oh, I think my boyfriend would like it very much."

That gives Lan Zhan pause. For a second, he ACTUALLY considers it. After all, if Wei Ying is okay with it, and so is his boyfriend, why should he feel ashamed about accepting his touches?
But no.

This isn't who he is. Besides, if he allows himself to have a little bit of Wei Ying, even if it's just... whatever it is they have, he'll want all of him. No space for a boyfriend.
He takes a deep breath in and decides to be brave.
"We can't be... this intimate with each other."

WWX's face falls. It hurts Lan Zhan to see him so disappointed. He wants to immediately take it back. He doesn't.
"It's not appropriate for someone in a relationship."
"Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying comes even closer to him, which isn't at all what he should be doing. Lan Zhan swallows.

"This is exactly what people in relationships do," he says.
Lan Zhan frowns. He doesn't know that much about relationships, but he knows this isn't quite right. "I don't think so."
Wei Ying bites his lower lip, which is unfair, when Lan Zhan is already having such a hard time.

"Are you saying you're not comfortable with me touching you?"
"That's not it," he rushes to say.
"Then what's the problem?"
"Your boyfriend," Lan Zhan says.
Wei Ying blinks at him.

And then, like a bucket of cold water, realization seems to dawn on him.
"Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying says slowly, like he's not quite sure if he's being crazy or not. "You're my boyfriend."
Lan Zhan's brain short-circuits.
He stays quiet for too long. Wei Ying just stares and waits.

"What?" he finally manages to say.
"You're my boyfriend. Did you... not know about that?"
Lan Zhan isn't sure he knows anything anymore.
"I'm... your..."
"Oh my GOD, Lan Zhan, we've been dating for months! Tell me this is a joke."
"I don't joke."

"So why do you think we go everywhere together?" Wei Ying sounds angry. Oh no. He made Wei Ying angry. "Why do we walk together holding hands?"
"I thought you were very... touchy."
"Wait," Wei Ying gets up from the bench. "What does this mean, then? You don't even like me?"

LWJ gets up too, because he can't bear seeing Wei Ying walking away. "That's not what I said."
Wei Ying doesn't answer. He looks at him, like he's waiting for an explanation.
"I like you," Lan Zhan breathes. He has never said it out loud before. "I just... didn't know you did."

Wei Ying's eyes finally soften into a gentle smile. Lan Zhan's heart goes lighter, seeing he's not upset anymore.
"I can't believe you didn't know I liked you, Lan Zhan. I've been all over you for ages."
Lan Zhan lowers his eyes, feeling embarrassed. "You've never said anything."

Wei Ying steps closer to him and lifts his face, gently cupping his chin. "I'm telling you now. I like you."
Lan Zhan's hands move of their own accord, grabbing his waist. Is this real? Is he dreaming?
"So now that you know..." Wei Ying says. "What are you gonna do about it?"

He doesn't know who leans in first. It doesn't matter. This is their first kiss, and it puts every fantasy he ever had to shame. Kissing him feels so much better than he could ever have imagined.
When they part, Wei Ying's eyes look hazy. Gorgeous. Lan Zhan cant quite believe it.

"Wei Ying," he calls, a memory coming to the front of his mind. "You told your friends your boyfriend was the hottest man alive."
Wei Ying's cheeks turn a beautiful shade of red.
"Well. I'm. You are. I mean, you-"

"You're wrong," Lan Zhan says. "My boyfriend is the hottest man alive."
"I can't believe you're so cheesy," Wei Ying gives him a playful punch on the shoulder, but the gorgeous smile on his face is worth it.
From then on, Lan Zhan talks a lot about /his/ boyfriend, too.

-END-

ok wait, I know I always say this, but this /REALLY/ wasn't supposed to turn into a thread. I'm sorry if it's all over the place and super cheesy, I didn't plan ANY of that. Still, I hope it was enjoyable!! Thank you for reading 💜

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